jerky bits

"There is only one difference between a madman and me.

The madman thinks he is sane.

I know I am mad."

-Salvador Dali

Today is my last day as an American citizen.

I'm going back to my home planet of of Xuberdoo in the Chocolate Chip galaxy (just a few light years away from the rock formerly known as the planet Pluto).

I'll miss it here but on Xuberdoo I was a princess and...

and...

What?

Right. Soooo anyway, we got a new flag. Our old one didn't do well with all the winter weather and stuff so we had to take it out back and shoot it.

**************************************

Saturday I went to Atlanta, TX for my Grandfather's 90th birthday party. The party was held at a small BBQ restaurant with tons of family in attendance.

My grandfather is a cowboy. We'll- not really. He just looks like it. He wears boots, pearl-snaps, bolo ties and cowboy hats. That's just his style and I love it. The theme of this party was Country Western so everyone dressed like cowboys like him.

I don't have Western stuff anymore. My boots are beyond repair and there's no snapping pearls over these massive jugs so I just put on some clothes. 

Better than going out naked and unshaven yes?

So that was my weekend.

Alight folks. Now, I'm going to go do some blog reading before my spaceship arrives.

"Reebuh krillip bloom."

That's how we say "Goodbye, I'm a lunatic." in my native language.

I forgot to title this.

"If you record the sound of bacon in a frying pan and play it back, it sounds like the pops and cracks on an old 33 1/3 recording. Almost exactly like that. You could substitute it for that sound."

-Tom Waits

 I went outside today for the first time since I got stung in the hand by a wasp last week. I've been afraid of nature every since. Now I'm a pale jaundiced goblin - in desperate need of sunlight and fresh air. I need help. I need an exterminator.

My first winged insect sting was from a bee in the left arm pit a few years ago. I was at an outdoors shindig and didn't know anyone there. I had to ask a total stranger to pluck the stinger from my pit using a pair of tweezers from someone's Swiss army knife.

I cried. I was embarrassed - not because of the situation...

but because I hadn't shaved under my arms in a few weeks.

My secret was out.

Anywho, what's great about today's outfit is....

I also wore it yesterday for a meeting I held in my house with my faire staff.

No makeup for a meeting? How unprofessional!

It's my house. I can be as naked faced as I want.

They're lucky I even bothered to put on pants...

So let's go all the way back to last week. St Patrick's Day ya'll!

I never get to do anything for St Patrick's Day. Poo!

Well, on this particular St Patrick's day, I had worked myself ragged, blogging and cleaning so I demanded the husband bring home some IPA for coloring while I order pizzas.

Best frigging St Patrick's Day ever.

Well, any day when I don't have to cook is a pretty glorious day.

The kids didn't know it was St Patrick's day, but they could feel the static in the air....

And lookee loo I got more pretty, fresh eggs! It didn't show up in this pic but the lower right one was such a pretty minty color. I almost didn't want to crack it, but I was hungry so... eh.

 And guess what??

I GOT MY CAR FIXED!

I've been carless for over a year! We were so broke! It SUCKED!! But THIS is GREAT!

who the heck is Daniella Noir?

Do a quick Facebook search and you'll find that Daniella Noir is a stripper... perhaps a porn star... even a ghetto fabulous fashion model. But this Daniella Noir I speak of is the director of the Texarkana Renaissance Faire and now officially, the Queen of the Gypsies.
She's me. Er, well kind of.

Even though I am the director of a renaissance faire, I'm not what you would call a "rennie". A rennie is person who is obsessed with faires and all things renaissance. They visit every faire they possibly can, spend thousands of dollars on costuming, accessories and weaponry every year. They listen to renaissance music, play themed RPGs, themed video games, study the history, read thy novels, attempt to speak the lingo, they learn to play the instruments... they're soaked in it!
Good people though. Good folks, I say.

People say to me, "Um, Hollie. You direct a faire. You're like, the ultimate rennie."

And I say to them:

"Nay. I just like dressing up and throwing massive parties that attract hundreds of people and earn thousands of dollars (none of which I actually get to take home after bills and stuff)."

With all that being said, during the planning of last year's faire, I began to get a lot of friend requests from faire participants, merchants, entertainers and the likes. But I only like to be friends with  people I actually know (that includes bloggers I regularly follow).

So I did what all rennies do, (I'm not a rennie)... I created a character and a name.

Thus, Daniella Noir was born!
Daniella from my middle name Danielle and Noir from my maiden name, Black.

Daniella got her own Facebook profile and by doing this, I was able to befriend 886 folks in the industry without flooding my personal profile feed with the latest book about Anne Boleyn, Tudor tailoring and pics of hot guys in kilts (I don't mind that last one so much though).
My 886 "friends" includes about a dozen Jack Sparrow impersonators, even a female Johnny Depp impersonator. About twenty mermaids, well over two hundred pirates, dozens of professional belly dancers, some faire kings and queens and even a few Hollywood pros.

So what about the Gypsy Queen thing?

Yeah, I made the announcement a few weeks ago that I am joining my own cast as the Gypsy Queen.

That was actually supposed to happen last year and it was going to be a big fun surprise but I was unable to finish my costume due to financial issues.

The headdress wasn't finished, the bodice wasn't bejeweled and I couldn't afford the skirts. No biggie really, it felt good to be hoop and crinoline free.

So here's what's to be added to the costume:

This 25 yard silk skirt...

.

Over this 25 yard dyed skirt tucked in at the hips...

Over this massive 6-bone hoop...

With lovely Indian and Turkoman and other tribal doodads on the bodice and headdress (the one with the flowers and feathers at the top).

At the faire, I will have a pavilion, really just a decorated popup canopy like below and even a throne! 

Maybe one day I'll have my husband build me a pimped out vardo complete with wi-fi and an espresso maker. Well, I don't think gypsies had wagons like this in the 16th century (or espresso makers for that matter), but it's my faire and I'll do what I want.

Ok, well now that I've bored you all to death with talks of becoming a gypsy queen, I'm going to go have a drink. A wasp landed in my hair earlier and thinking it was a harmless grasshopper a grabbed him and threw him to the ground. He stung my hand and now I'm grumpy, with a headache and a achy hand.

If you'd like to befriend Daniella Noir on Facebook you can find her HERE.

To like the Gypsy Queen's page click HERE.

See ya!!

flirting with penguins

After a few days of spring-like weather, Texas said, "Naw, Ya'll. I ain't done with this winter business." It snowed again (Monday I think it was) and once again the whole dang city shut down. Well, I say it like it's a bad thing. If I want donuts I just send the husband to get them. I don't go anywhere. Me no have no car...

BUT I'M GETTING IT FIXED THIS MONTH!!

WOO!! Thank God for tax returns and lots and lots of patience!

That means I can re-open my Etsy store now that I can get to the post office!

And thank God for fresh eggs, right? Eggs so fresh they still got the chicken poo on 'em. YUM!

My husband met a dude that sells large batches of poo eggs for half the price of the grocery store. Since I'm going low carb these days I'm going through some muthah flippin' eggs like crazy.

Since I don't get gussied up to work on blogging stuff at home and since we kinda sotra forgot about daylight savings time, we missed church so I've got no outfit to feature.  I did, however, go to my nephew's fifth birthday party yesterday but I wasn't feeling very photogenic - probably because there was nothing to eat at the party and I was staaaarving- so I just took pics of other folks.

Someone took a pic of me tho.

So the whole pro-blogging thing is working out ok. It's VERY time consuming though. I spend about ten hours a day networking and promoting- but hey, it's SO worth it! I've made $70 whole dollars in three months! At this rate, I'm sure retirement is right around the corner. 

I'm not even blogging about my kids like I first intended. Turns out that wasn't really as fun and exciting as I thought it would be. Is that an awful thing to say? I did a couple posts about saving money and being frugal and all that jazz and it turns out I like writing about money a little more than... my kids. Sheesh that DOES sound bad!!! 

Sorry Cedar and River. Mommy loves you...  she's just not very good at writing about you...

Speaking of, here's my little butter boo, 6 months and trying to crawl already!

Well that's all for now. Time to go get caught up on reading your blaaaaawgs.

Laters!

flow day

 I need a nap.

I need a muthah flippin nap.

I feel like I got intimate with a vampire last night.

Just plain drained.

But I've got too much to do! Instead of napping, I'm gonna blog here... and then read your blogs and then pimp my other blog and then cook dinner and then get on Pinterest and then promote my other blog some more and then read more blogs and then clean the kitchen and then milk the cow and darn the socks and....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

 Anywho. Here's a boring outfit I wore to church with my favorite eBay score necklace.

Earlier this week

IT SNOWED.

I know some of you are like "big woop" and some of you are like "DON'T SAY SNOW!"

Well, too bad. Snow. Snow. SNOW.

It hasn't really snowed here in two years and I wanted my babies to see snow for the first time SO badly!

 Hooray for 3X coats that fit over baby carriers. It was super duper cold. I only have dresses and leggings for "going out" duds so I wore my pj pants over yoga pants and some hideous hiking boots I keep on hand in case of the zombie apocalypse and of course no makeup.

 

 The schools shut down, the roads closed and even my husband got two days off from work.

Four inches of snow for us here in East TX is quite a bit and we're just not equipped for it.

 A snowball fight with the neighbors.

 WINTER WAR!!

 River got caught in the icy crossfire and got petty upset about it.

 All dry and warm!!

What's next for us?

Weird weather.

So how's the weather where you are?

Seen any dinosaurs lately?