that thing I do

Hello, you wild beasts.

Behold, a little weekend recap:

Here are some clothes and jewelry and my face and stuff.

 I'm wearing a recently thrifted dress over a skirt because the dress is oddly very short in the back. I never have that problem. My dresses are always too short in the front.... you know... the boobs and the fact that I have no rear. No butt at all - well, at least for a black woman. 

 

So check out these huge Afghani glass bead beauties I scored on Etsy. Two for $10! Not bad, eh???
They were marked down because they're a little damaged but nothing that can't be fixed.

After last year's jewelry mishap at the faire, I swore off dancing in metal jewelry.

In case you don't remember, I danced for two days in the sweltering Southern heat and my sweat and cheap jewlery did not get along very well. 

I had a rash on my left boob that got so bad, it split open. I had terrible rashes on my upper chest and behind my ears and down the sides of my neck from my earrings.

These necklaces are so fabulous, I can't see myself only wearing them for the faire. Look at these! I wanna sleep in them! 

Sunday afternoon, I joined some friends in the park for some drumming and music like we used to do  way back many years ago. Eh, hardly anyone showed up so it turned out to be more of just a hang out session instead of a jam out session. Oh, well. The weather was nice.

And here's me with a tambourine on my head showing off... my balls.

The aslatua is a percussion shaker instrument from Ghana. It's two little gourds filled with seeds or pebbles, tied to a string. I got these weeks ago and I love them. They're a serious challenge. You hold one ball in your hand with the string between your fingers. Then swing the other ball around your hand, over your thumb to make it hit the other ball in your hand. Swing it back around to catch it in your hand. 

Ok, I'm no good at explaining stuff.

I'll post a little demo video at the bottom.

Where does the sound come from?

Oh, and I finally got a pink ukulele! I had not idea how cheap these were! Er, well for a beginner one to just fiddle around with, anyway. Wanna come over and rock out with me, Emmy?

teenage dirtbag

 

Sunday evening me and my little family went to a church gathering thingy. It was hot. There were mosquitoes but also plenty beer.

Beer at a church function.

Lots of it.

We're Presbyterian.

We'll, the husband is Presbyterian... and I take advantage of it.

 Here's what I wore. Are you sick of seeing the same clothes over and over yet?

Well too bad! My girdle went missing!!

Without my blubber control I can't wear half the dresses in my closet!

Who stole my girdle? Was it you?? How about YOU!?

I bet it was you.

You look shady as heck.

  I seriously keep forgetting to go buy a new girdle. Mine's been missing for about two months...

NO! I shouldn't have to BUY a new girdle! Just give me mine back!!!

Me and that girdle go WAY back like car seats.

It's seen me through the best of times - like when my fat belly started getting pushed out waaay too early when I was pregnant with Cedar...

...and the worst of times... 

Like a 100 lbs weight gain in 5 years...

 So here's some odd news.

It's actually kind of sad really but I'm not too torn up about it.

They whole gypsy trailer thing? Yeah. That got put on the back burner.

Why?

Well after we found the right trailer, I sat down and calculated how much our monthly living expenses would be with trailer payments, insurance and lot rent.

I  was expecting to see some beautifully low numbers.

NOPE.

It would actually cost us MORE money to live gypsy style than it would for us to stay put right were we are. Our current cost of living is SO low, living in a travel trailer would cost MORE!! Our goal was to live UNDER our means to save money while seeing the county... but it looks like that plan needs to change, approached differently or be dropped all together. 

So because I was sure we were about to move I had put off any kind of home renovations and customization. Well, now I'm back on it. I free handed this mehndi-inspired design on the kids playroom closet door. I know it looks rough right now, but after I add color, all the lines and stuff will be even-upped and smoothed out. So yeah. That's... that.

Aaaand look who's walking!

no cookies, no grains, no job, no nudity

Hey everybody! You know what time it is? It's HOLLIE TIME!!

Yo. How's it going. You doing good? All cool? Cool.

It's Sunday, it's noon and I'm fat, I'm hungry and I'm ready to party...

and by party I mean browse Pinterest and eat brownies for the rest of the day. 

Yesterday we took a little trip to see the husband's parents in Nacogdoches, TX.

It's boring two hour drive.

When we arrived we were supposed to check out the town's annual Blueberry Festival but when we pulled up it started raining cats and dogs and elephants too. Everyone in the festival was scrambling to get out of there. It didn't look like the rain would be stopping any time soon so we just continued to the inlaw's house.

▲▲This is the face of a man who has been robbed of a golden opportunity to get pie.▲▲

The rain hadn't reached the inlaw's house when we got there (and they weren't even there yet), so we seized the opportunity to take some photos.  

Just thinkin' about what's inside that trashcan out there. Lovely.

  And then the rain came. It was pretty awesome. Just my type of storm - no thunder or lightning. Just heavy rain, a little wind and cool temperatures. Ahhhhhh yesss...

  And River FINALLY got to play in rain for the first time evar!

So the inlaws came home. the rain stopped. Both kid's got a costume change. We ate some pretty effin' awesome ravioli and shrimp stuff. We hung out outside - which was gross and sticky thanks to the sun coming out after the rain.

Granny tried to help Cedar get over her phobia of grass.

And here's my first "wildlife photo". Look at these savage beasts! I can't believe I got so close to such wild and dangerous animals! I could have lost and eye or a limb or worse... A NOSE!

 Soooo, That's it. Oh wait!

In my last post I was whining about super pic-heavy posts and mentioned bloggers need to put photos in a collage to put an end to BRSMFIS (blog-reader-scrolling-mouse-finger-injuries)  right?

Well, many of you said you don't know how to put photos in collages.

That's a dang shame.

Let me help you... because, you know, the world revolves around me AND my opinion about you and your blog and how you do things is very important.

MUHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

Seriously, though. PicMonkey is the way to go if you would like to collage your photos. It's crazy stupid easy to use and making collages is a breeze. For realz.

Save a finger.

Collage your pics.

I made it from scratch

Alright, alright, simmer down. I know I'm late with my weekly blog post. You just couldn't make it through the weekend without me, huh? You cried yourself to sleep at night, you had fits and withdrawals and you probably even got sick at the thought that I might never come back to the blogging world.

Well, never fear. Here I is... am. Here I am.

And I'm wearing another scarf turned vest thingy.

Click HERE to find out how to make your own.

I took a lot of  photos this weekend but I'm nice enough to put them in collages for you. Why don't all bloggers do that? It should be a frggin' law. Don't make people scroll through twenty-one photos of you in slightly different poses from one to the next featuring each dang piece of clothing and jewelry you have on. We get it! You look great, ok?! My finger hurts! Scroll, scroll, scroll.

Ugh, and mom bloggers are the worse.. with the kids and photos of their food and Starbucks. How many different angles of your skinny latte do you really feel people need to see?!?!? 

I've pretty much given up on mom-blogs. Not mine. I like mine. I mean... the others... {cue the ominous music and lightening strike}

So as you'll see in the photos below we took the kiddos to the park. This was the first time Cedar's got to experience it. And by experience it, I mean... eat gravel.

 

 

Cedar's sunbath Sunday morning. She doesn't get out much and was starting to look a little jaundicy. Or so I think. I could just be a paranoid mama. Either way, a little sun won't hurt.

And River got his first real ouchie this weekend. I wasn't there to witness the accident, I just heard the thud and the heart breaking cry of pain coming from the hallway. From the looks of it, I think he caught a jutting hinge on the door to his nursery. It started off as a little scratch but the next morning it looked like this. He's doing just fine now, though. He's a tough kid.

And I found this happy guy waiting for me yesterday morning. I guess the farmer lady we get our eggs from has some seriously jolly chickens.

So that's it for now. Time to go get caught up with blog reading, blog posting on the other blog, faire stuff, faire fundraiser stuff, faire sponsorship stuff, more blog stuff, baby stuff, cooking stuff, drinking gin at noon stuff... you know. The usual.

LATERS!

Oh, and if you like parenting stuff, go check out my other blog. Please.

you know I'm no good

Hello all! We're all enjoying our Memorial Day weekend here in Wonderland so far. Barbecuing, drinking cheap beer, jello wrestling and big game hunting.... it's been grand!

 New ring from Earthbound Trading Company, $3. There was a basket full of these suckers and if I were rich I would have bought them all... or if I were dishonest, I would have stole them all.

 Saturday afternoon we went out trailer hunting again at a lot we haven't checked out yet, but dad-gummit we got there too late. Closed for the day. Poop! Saturdays are the only days we have to look for trailers. We found one online for $3,700 though! It's EXACTLY what we need; queen bed, bunks and all BUT it's in Wisconsin. We decided that if we find something at just the right price, we'll travel to get it, but a 15 hour drive to check out something that may or may not work out for us is a little much but we're still considering it.

 So, Cedar got to try food with real substance this weekend and... well, let's just say she had some trouble adjusting to the new textures.

 But River's an old pro!

 Blah, blah, blah Memorial Day stuff...

  Blah, blah, blah I wore this to church...

 I think the dress kinds sucks but it's light and I love the pattern. And look! Another one of those rings!

So that's all for now, ya'll! Time to go smash windows and stir up some riots for no good reason! BYE! Go check out my other blog if you like parenting stuff. Ok, bye again!