babe ahoy!

Guess what folks!

I'm going to have baby!! Yes it's true! What's that? You already knew that? Oh.

Well did you know that I'm going to have a baby THIS SATURDAY?!?!?

Yay! I shore am!

At my last checkup I bumped up the date of my sea-section from September 11th to the 6th. I'm miserable and I feel like I've been pregnant for years. I'm so crabby all the time and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and I'm SO ready to meet my little girl.

Sailor Hat: Halloween clearance last year

Modern Kuchi tribal necklace, ring and bangles: eBay

Tank: Old Navy clearance rack

Skirt: Old, retail

Shoes: Local beauty supply store 

Ok, well now I'm sardine to have trouble coming up with more nautical puns. They do anything for you? Turn you on a bit? Make ya giggle? No?

 In the days after birth, fashion will not be a priority. Hygiene probably won't either. You can bet that I'll be bra-less in an old faded cotton nightgown wearing adult diapers. I reeeeally don't think that's something you all want to see. I decided that before I go on my short blogging maternity leave, I might as well go out with a bang - or more like a tiny pop? I'm linked up for Share-in-Style. This week's theme is "sailor". Yippie!

 SEA YOU LATER!!

ok, here goes:

Thursday I went the the hospital to meet the doctor that will be doing my c-section in less than three weeks.

Me and River waited to be seen for an hour and a half. The appointment was set for 1:30pm. At 2:30pm I went to the front desk to ask if maybe I had my appointment time wrong (I've been known to do that).

Nope, they said. That's just how it is. Psshshh!! You know, you can only keep a one year old quiet and still for so long. He was at his breaking point and so was I.

 I finally saw the doc at 3:00pm and all she did was check the baby's heartbeat. That's it!! It took FIVE MINUTES!! She didn't introduce herself. She didn't even know the date of the surgery. She didn't go over the procedure or give me any info about anything. It was a waste of time and I wasn't a very happy camper. But as usual, I just smiled, thanked her and dashed the heck out of there before River turned into the Incredible Hulk.

So, as you can see I wasn't looking or feeling too glamorous that day. It was hot outside.... SO hot. My feet feet were so swollen they were pouring out over the sides of my sandals and I can't close my legs anymore when I sit. I look like an old bow legged cow and needless to say, I walk like one too.

I took this photo after leaving my appointment. A nice volunteer in a golf cart gave me and River a ride to my car. This is what I looked like after being outside for less than a minute in 98F weather. Yes! I sweat! A LOT!  I know you've all read gripes about my sweaty battle with summer but here's the proof. I hate summer and summer hates me. This is why my blog posts drop off so much during the summer. What am I supposed to blog about? What I didn't wear? How many times I have to change my sweaty underpants in one day? No seriously... you wanna hear about it?

Naaahhh... I'll save that one for later.

So tell me: how well do you handle summertime?

it's a record

Yup, I've done it again. I threw my back out for literally the SIXTH time this year. I'm keeping count. This time, I jacked everything up Friday afternoon when I bent down to get River out of his car seat. I swear it happened in slow motion. I could feel it happening but there was nothing I could do about it. Curses!!!! Now I'm back on the couch, just waiting it out. My kitchen is already filthy, laundry is piling up and I'm bored. 

So here's what a "just out of boredom" blog post looks like: Enjoy suckers.

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Ridiculous selfies at the doctor's office. Yeah, I'm getting pretty lazy with my hair rollers and it shows.

Adorable spontaneous portrait at the doctors office. He's thinking: "When I grow up, will I be weird like my mom? Or weird like my dad?"

Hilarious English translation on some baby leg warmers I ordered online from China.

Only 5 weeks left. I'm stupid excited about the new baby - I'm just not excited about the whole c-section thing. C-sections SUUUUUUUUCK....

Working on my headdress for my "fire gypsy" costume for the faire in October. I've still got a little more to add to it.

Tried out a new "upscale" Chinese buffet. The food was great but I was too busy trying to figure out how to sneak off with this giant shiny Buddha and glittery Luck Cat.

And that's it. Time to go catch up on my blog reading. Yay! Stalking time!

ready or not here comes mama!

Here we go. 4 days over my due date and I'm ready to just dive in there and get this baby out myself. I'm going to reach in, grab him by the foot and yank him out! Ok I won't do that (yet), but that's how ready I am to get this over and done with.

A couple of days ago I asked my midwife if it was ok to try the old castor oil trick and she told me to wait for my next appointment so we could discuss some less "violent"  methods. Well that appointment was today...

Let the homeopathic labor induction begin!

Since the midwife if not a fan of using castor oil to induce labor she gave me her "bag-o-tricks" with a detailed list of instructions for use. There's a lot of stuff in the bag and a long list of instructions and I really don't feel like explaining what's what right now... but if any of these products work, I'll be sure to let you know.

 My mom swears by castor oil and red cabbage to jump start labor so we picked up some pre-mixed salad after the appointment..and a bottle of castor oil "just in case".

 I looooooooove salad and I haven't had any in forever. I was a little freaked out to find that I ate the whole bag by myself but oh, well. Right now I can still shrug it off and say "I'm pregnant" and everyone will think it's cute... cute that I ate a pound of salad by myself. 

This behavior won't be acceptable soon. Especially not with the way I eat salad- just as much shredded cheese, bacon bits and dressing as there is salad. Delish.

Let's hope this red cabbage thing works.

Any signs of labor yet?

My contractions are getting a little stronger and definitely more frequent, my cervix is nice and soft, I'm just a teeny bit dilated and I cut my hair tonight (failed at a new years resolution already). I usually freak out about my hair when I'm super hormonal. When I get to the point of taking the scissors to it myself, that means something's a'brewin'.

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Will this be my last bump shot??

Sorry for the boring outfit but my wardrobe is pretty limited these days.

 My footwear selection is also pretty limited as well... and surely you can see why...

Who's foot is this?!?!?

OK, folks. I'm off. The next time I write a post hopefully it'll be about the arrival of this little one.
Let's get herbed up and go have a baby!
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Oh! One more thing!
Look at these gorgeous necklaces I just bought from my bloggy friend Natasha Hanson's Etsy store!
She's moving her online shop so she's having a 60% off moving sale.
Check out her amazing goods here!

kiss my buns! {going past due date}

My due date was the 15th. I really didn't feel like that was going to be "the big day" so I just went on about my day like it was any other day... well kind of. I was abnormally tired and mopey all day. I slept poorly and woke up way too early... then I went down for a nap and slept waaaaay too long.

We had to cancel our midwife appointment that was scheduled for today because of the weather. It sleeted this morning and the roads were just a tiny bit icy. Yes that's all. Sleet. This is East Texas and no one around here is used to driving in any kind of wintery weather so everything shuts down at the first sign of ice (ramps, bridges, even businesses and schools)- plus our midwife's office is over an hour away and that drive would have been taking us towards worse weather.

So anywho- this evening I got really sick of laying around in bed  doing nothing....so I got up, got dressed.... and did nothing....

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Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I should be up moving around, maybe even going for a lovely stroll with my husband in the park right? NO. We went to Target last night to get some diapers and receiving blankets and we were in there for about thirty minutes just to get two items. I could barely walk! People would stop doing what they were doing to gawk at me and watch me walk by. Huge belly, leaning back walking like a bow legged buffalo- yes I am truly something to behold in this state.

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Now, I'm still just lounging around like a glamorous Jabba the Hutt listening to Radiohead - waiting for a sign. Wait! I think I felt something! Oh, never mind.  Just a little gas.

five days

It's 9:27am. I'm sitting in the bedroom listening to my husband break massive wind in the living room. That's what he does every morning. I'm actually a little jealous right now. My stomach is boiling and I'm having mild contractions. Some airy relief from this discomfort sounds very pleasant right now. I decided to take the risk of drinking an ice cold glass of milk with my PB&J last night before I went to bed at 3:00am. This is never a good idea but I did it anyway. I can have dairy products and milk in my cereal but for some strange reason I can't drink the milk straight.
My "due date" is in 5 days and I can't wait. As soon as that day hits, I'm going to do every trick in the book to start labor if it hasn't already came. I'm soooo tired of being pregnant and I'm soooooooo anxious to meet this baby. I don't even know it's gender (which might be adding to my impatience). Walking and just getting around the house is tough, I have hemorrhoids for the first time in my life and I'm just plain uncomfortable all the time.

So here's what's on my labor induction to-do list:
Castor oil - worked for my mom and sister
Red (purple) cabbage - also worked for my mom and sister (in combo with the castor oil)
Sex - this will be kinda hard for me. My pelvis feels like it's cracking all the time but I think we'll manage somehow.
Spicy food - this one is new to me but I keep seeing it pop up in self-labor induction recommendations.
A nice foot and ankle massage -  it feels nice and I've heard that there are some pressure points you can hit in the ankle area to stimulate contractions. You'll have to really get at it for this to work. If it doesn't  I won't be disappointed with just receiving a good massage.

I think about the baby all the time. This obsession with it's gender, smell, warmth, little feet and little nose is driving me crazy. Will it get my brown skin or be white like daddy? Will it have a head full of curly black hair come out bald as a melon? We'll see in 5 days...

the countdown.

Eating: PB&J

Drinking: Watered down apple juice

Listening to: Devendra Banhart

Feeling: A little impatient.

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I'm 39 weeks now and I'm more than ready to get this show on the road.

The baby is sitting even lower and my lower back and pelvic area feel like I've been riding a very large horse for a very long time on a very bad road.

I have a bra strap showing in almost every darn photo I take!! I'm going to start wearing a freakin' shawl.
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Our bags have been packed and ready for a couple of weeks now and I made this list for my husband...

I hope I haven't left anything out.

I realized that I really needed to rewash and sort out the baby's clothes. They've just been sitting in trash bags and boxes for months. (We don't know the baby's gender so we've been accepting hand-me-downs for a boy and girl.) I washed the baby's clothes in baby mild Dr. Bronner's liquid soap and sorted them out by gender. Then I went through our bags again... and again to make sure we have everything and decided to pack the baby a different "going home" outfit.

Then I checked the bags again.

My husband has been soooooo helpful and loving this entire pregnancy. Well I mean that's just his nature (that's why I married him) but I wanted to marry him all over again when I jokingly asked him to paint my toes because I can't reach my feet and he totally said yes.

He's never painted nails before and his technique was awful but he got the job done.

To me, my toes have never been prettier.

38 weeks

At 38 weeks I'm craving soda pop and beer.
Yes, beer (doesn't mean I'm drinking it though).

My appetite has calmed down a lot but if I stay up late I turn into a PB&J munching maniac- consuming at least 2 sandwiches in the matter of minutes with room for more.

Down to the nitty gritty.

Let's face it: I'm focusing on blogging about my pregnancy right now and pregnancy ain't always pretty so here goes...

I have hemorrhoids for the first time in my life.

I keep hearing that this is a good sign because it means that labor is close but I can't bear the thought of trying to push a baby out myself while my bum is in such a terrible state.

I went to the ER just a few minutes after ringing in the new year but everything is fine I guess. 

I had a yucky heavy headache for almost a week straight and was having a couple of other signs of pre-eclampsia. My tests have all come back clean and my blood pressure is perfect... just a headache.

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Oh my.

Hemorrhoids. Why?

bringing in the new year at the ER

So through some late night emails, my midwife expressed to me how concerned she was about me not taking my preeclampsia symptoms more seriously. 

All my life I've never had to worry about anything like that. I was raised to think that if you just wait it out, it'll go away- and it always does for me. We don't go to the hospital unless something is seriously wrong. I've felt much worse than this- so I've just been dealing with the discomforts and moving on. 

To me, headaches, swelling, dizziness and shortness of breath just sounded like pregnancy. 

 My midwife sent me a link with a detailed list of  preeclampsia symptoms and I went into a panic after reading it. I didn't realize how many of those symptoms I had been experiencing for quite some time now. 

On the site I kept seeing the words "life threatening" and "fatal"... then a serious headache set in and I went bonkers.

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When we got to the ER at about 1am they came to pick me up in a wheelchair within just a couple of minutes of waiting to send me to labor and delivery. I was super embarrassed about riding in a wheelchair and kept my head down the whole time just in case someone was there that knew me. I could walk- the only problem was that my maternity jeans were too tight in the thigh area and that gave me a much exaggerated waddle.

And when I heard they were whisking me away to labor and delivery I was terrified. 

All this over a headache?!?!?

I started to feel like a big silly sissy and I immediately started to regret going to the ER. I wanted to turn back and go home but my husband kept reminding me that we just can't take the risk of not having all this checked out.

After filling out a bunch of paperwork, they sent to a dim room. There I stripped down and put on a dingy, ratty open-back robe and gave urine. They asked me some questions about how I've been feeling and hooked me up to all sorts machines that I didn't understand.

I was tired, uncomfortable and my head was still pounding.

They asked me if I wanted some Tylenol and I said YES- desperately.

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While waiting, I really started to feel frustrated and confused. I kept shaking my head saying out loud, "I don't understand."

I don't understand how I've felt like pure doodoo during this whole pregnancy and now all of a sudden a headache and a little dizziness can mean the beginning of something that can kill you.

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After about an hour the nurse came in to tell me that everything looks great:The baby, my blood pressure, my urine- all great. Just a bad headache.

I was super grateful to hear this news but I still wanted to stomp and scream "All this for nothing?!?!?"

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No.

At 38 weeks pregnant I'm just now learning the meaning of "better safe than sorry" when it comes to my health and the the health and safety of my baby. 

Yes, I had forgotten that when I feel bad, it's not just ME who could be in trouble. There's a human being growing inside of me that needs me to be as healthy as possible.

I don't feel silly about going to the ER anymore. 

Should my symptoms continue, I will go back to the hospital every day if need to ensure the safety of me and my baby.

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Going to the hospital because you're concerned for yourself and your baby is nothing to be ashamed of.

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Better safe than sorry.

First lesson of 2013: learned.

37 weeks

Cravings

cold soda, cold water, cold fruit juice

Physical Symptoms

It's so hard to go to sleep and stay asleep now. I sleep in little bursts all through the night and I don't really get to sleep until my husband gets up for work.

I've probably gained over 40 pounds... ugh...

My belly has dropped and now my back and pelvic area feel soooo much better. I might be waddling now more than ever but at least I'm not in agonizing pain.

My hands and and ankles are pretty darn swollen now.

This is what my poor legs looked like several minutes after taking off my leggings and socks. In a larger shot, you can see the print of the socks in my skin and the seams of my legging on my legs. These marks didn't go away for quite a while! 

Emotions

I'm more weepy and less grumpy. I'm ok with that- I hate being mean.

Baby Movement

Things are pretty snug in there! There's an elbow or a foot or something that he moves up and down the length of my stomach all day. He usually stops to pay special attention to my belly button... I think he's trying to make sure it pops out.

What the Midwife Says

I'm being watched for preeclampsia now. The swelling, headaches and blurred vision are bringing up some concerns.  Yesterday I had to collect my urine in a bright orange jug for 24 hours to send to a lab for analysis... well- I should have done it last week but the with the hustle and bustle of the holidays weighing heavy on me, peeing in a jug was at the bottom of my to-do list.

Yup. Pee. My pee.

a little bit of the evening in black in white

Yup. That's me and that's my fat juicy hand. I'm 36 weeks pregnant now and I'm swelling up like a balloon. My legs are swelling and my blood pressure is starting to go up a little so the midwives are watching me pretty closely for preeclampsia. The great part about this is I get to collect my urine in a bright orange jug for 24 hours to be analysed.  I'll probably start on this tomorrow- I haven't been much in the mood to pee in a jug today.

 These two elephants are on my list of my most prized possessions so of course they get the special Christmas garland treatment.

  Every evening we let Binky the Bunny out of his cage for a little exercise around the living room. Lately he's been wanting to hang out under the coffee table. The problem with that is, it's hard to get him out from under there when it's time to put him up. So when we go after him to put him back in his cage he gets very angry with us for disturbing his peace. It's best to just keep him from going under there in the first place.

 Aaaand here's a little bit of our Christmas decor. I've never decorated our home for Christmas before. The decor is sparse and simple but the less I put up the less I'll have to take down, right?