but it's not a lot...

Wow it's been seven whole days since my last blog post. I usually read the blogs I'm following after I make a post, but since I haven't posted in a week that means I've missed 95 of your posts. 95?? Sheesh. What could you people possibly be up to out there?!?! 

So what have I been up to? Well, I cleaned my bathroom for the first time since Halloween. No lie. Now it's all pretty and sparkly and smelling oh-so nice. I have no idea how I let that much time pass between cleanings. 

The photo coming up is pretty irrelevant to anything I'm going to talk about - I just want to share with you this poster I have above the toilet. Isn't it fitting?? Flush art?

 Naruto Whirlpool by Utagawa Hiroshige, 1853

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I've been doing tons of faire work daily and this requires me to be in front of my laptop for hoooours as day. Often times I find myself getting a too riled up realizing all the things that need to be handled between now and October. I know that seems like a decent enough time to plan a renaissance faire but I've got a baby coming this summer so I've got to get as much done as possible. 

Sometimes I just need to step away and take a little breaky-poo.

Strolling around clearance shopping and shopping for 99 cent jewelry on Ebay has become my favorite things to do during a break. The other day at K-Mart I found these nail polishes super duper marked down for 78 cents each. The lime green rocks my world AND it's long lasting. I've gone since Sunday with barely a chiparoo.

I got this great necklace and and owl ring for 99 cents each on eBay. There's more jewelry to show but it didn't come in until after I started this post. 

Yesterday at Salvation Army I got this great handmade kid's blanket for River. It looks so fresh and new - I don't think it's ever been used.

 I got  two pairs of suspenders to add to the husband's man-ccessories collection. Now that he's starting to care a little bit more about fashion I can finally buy him the things I would wear if I were a dude.

 And lastly I got this great Southwestern themed cotton handkerchief... that I accidentally ripped after hastily tearing the price tag off to get this photo. Boo!

 

Well, the number of unread blog posts is now up to 102 on Bloglovin' and I gotta get back to work...

So I'm going to go away now.... ADIOS!!

heave ho!

I got this dress at a street festival in Tarrytown, NY earlier this summer. It looked amazing on the mannequin but on me, it looks like one of my late-grandmothers house dresses.  I tucked it away in the closet until I could figure out how to make it look less... lazy hippie housewife-ish.

Since the weather was unseasonably warm yesterday, I decided to give it another shot. It's very lightweight so it worked perfect for my outings in the confused winter weather.

AND thanks to a new brand of bras I found online, my massive boobins were hoisted high enough for a little belt cinching (thanks also to a ridiculously tight tummy tucker I'm wearing under my clothes. Shhh... my little secret.)

Vest thingy: www.599fashion.com

Dress: NY street fest

Belt: Target clearance
Boots: Hand-me-downs

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Yesterday I decided to go out and do something that I truly hate to do: thrift shopping.

I'm sure you've heard enough complaining from me about how much the thrift stores here suck, so I'll spare you the dead horse beatings and state simply for my newest followers that... our thrift stores suck. But oddly enough I had a pretty decent run this time.

I'm not going to share pics of every dang thing I bought - I don't want to bore you, so here's just a few of my faves from my haul.

 

 This adorable vintage yellow dress is a RARE find since no one here sells vintage clothing. I found it at Goodwill. It whimpered and gave me big puppy dog eyes, crying, "Take me home please? No one wants me. They're going to throw me away if I don't sell just like all the other vintage dresses! Save me!"

It's several sizes too small for me but it's in absolute perfect condition so I'll probably list in in my shop so it can find a new owner - someone who will love her as much as I do.

 I also scored these strange floral faux alligator loafers for $1.50 at Good Samaritan charities.

 A much lusted after wool cape for $3

 And another rare vintage Goodwill find: A cute little lace hat.

I've been wanting a hat like this forever!!

At every shop I visited I made sure to snatch up every Christmas album I could find for an early Christmas present my husband surprised me with last week.

I asked for a new record play and that's what I got!

 It's a late 70s Curtis Mathes console in pristine condition. He didn't tell me the price but from what I understand, the shop owner was practically giving it away.

 My old record player was in such bad shape, my albums sounded like they were being played underwater so now I can finally listen to my favorite records and stop wasting my money downloading the music I can find for mere pennies at garage sales and flea markets!

Um... this particular Shins record didn't cost pennies though... It was a gift. There's no way I'm paying more than a dollar for an album. Man I'm cheap.

See you guys later. I'm off to the rain forest to find a cure for lupus and herpes.

Bye!

I'm not a chicken. You're a turkey.

Before I begin this post, I ask that you please forgive me for the junky background in these photos.

Lately I've been taking my photos in front of the double doors to our bathroom, but I accidentally broke one of the doors off the hinges while fighting three ninja zombie cowboy robots last week.

It was brutal.

I didn't win.

 So anyways, I haven't been feeling too hot for the past few days. It's nothing serious. I'm just bleeding to death, is all. Too much info?

Today I'm going shopping to find us all (me, husband, baby) outfits for a private wedding this weekend. The bride has asked all the guests to wear specific colors and it just so happens to be colors that we ain't got.

 I'm really not excited about going shopping and spending money on something we're all just going to wear once. I even might have to **GASP** pay full price for a dress!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Moving on:

May I introduce you to my latest .99 cent Ebay find? I'm so darn stoked to be adding another blinged out arachnid to my collection.

I'm linking up with Bella Wella Bo-Bella for SHOE SHINE: THE SHOE FIEND EDITION. This is my first time linking up at her blog so I'm pretty excited about it. She's sexy and so are my shoes.

Faux suede Walmart brand flats bought a couple of months ago for $7. This is my first time wearing them because... I forgot I had them.

 Well actually I only got to wear them for about an hour until I discovered how short my dress was. I bent over and I could feel a breeze on my bum. I reached behind me and sure enough, no coverage. No coverage at all.

There's just something about wearing leggings and boots with a shorty short dress that makes it seem less short. You know what I mean?

I'm out.

Have a good week.

Don't talk to strangers and say no to drugs.

unicorns are for gangstas

Today after lunch with a new friend I decided to take advantage of the rare occasion of having a vehicle and went to Target for a little clearance rack raping.

 I got this great floral print hi-lo dress for about $12. I rarely pay that much for a dress but the dress is very light and it's dang hot here. I don't do fashion trends but the ho-lo is a trend I really dig. I've been looking for an affordable hi-lo forever and this one was the only hi-lo there and it was my size... I'm pretty sure it was meant to be.
Sorry about the one blurred photo. A ghost walked through in front of the camera.
No worries. He doesn't bite.

 I also got this dress for $6. The material is pretty heavy so I'll probably only be able to wear it when the sun has long since gone down. I looooove me some stripes and this will be great for the fall.

In town we have a store called the Dollar Tree. Everything in there is a dollar. No more, no less. It's impossible to go into the Dollar Tree without coming out with bags full of completely random stuff. Since we have no used book stores in town the Dollar Tree is THE spot to get new books for... you guessed it: one dollar. Most of these are new releases and I have no idea why they're only one dollar. Overstock? Typos?

 I got the top four books yesterday and the bottom four I got last month. I've only finished one of the books (A Gentle Axe) and I'm currently reading A Separate Country. As you can see from the covers of the books, I mostly read historical fiction.

I also found these fun and colorful wall hangers at the Dollar Tree along with baby socks, stuff for a fairy costume I'm working on, nail files, nail polish and a bunch of other crap I don't need.

Are you a Dollar Store Whore like me?

We discovered someone hit my car yesterday. I'm not sure exactly when or how and I'm not even mad about it but the offender could have at least scribbled out a little note on the back of an old receipt that said, "Sorry I hit your car. I didn't feel like waiting for you so I left. Here's a note."

Has this ever happened to you?

Me? This is like the fifth time over the past ten years.

rock, paper, scissors, alligator, spider, dynamite

 Saturday me and my boys went to Shreveport for a little outing. It was great but it all got started off sitting in the parking lot of Academy Sports for almost and hour. My husband needed to meet up with a guy to buy a gun from him for his friend but the two men's attempt at arranging the meeting was pretty poor. That's what happens when you try arrange something like this all through Facebook instead of using the old fashioned method of exchanging phone numbers. So we waited and waited and waited...

To pass the time we played "rock, paper, scissor, alligator, spider, dynamite (featuring Abe Lincoln)" and sang along to the Producers soundtrack. While waiting I saw a hot air balloon for the first time in my life floating across the sky all majestic and... floaty...  I was super excited.

Oh yeah, I also gave myself a weird Sharpie tattoo during the wait.

After the gun swap we moved on to the Shreveport Boardwalk for a little bit of food and shopping.We went into the massive Bass Pro Shop in search of a steakhouse restaurant that we later found has been converted into a Sonic fast food restaurant for some strange reason.

One side of the elevator in the store is glass so you're greeted by this little fellow when you go up and giant ugly lake fish when you go down.

By now we're starving and there was an hour wait at Joe's Crab Shack... as well as darn near every restaurant there.

We decided to go Italian since there wasn't a seating wait. The restaurant turned out to be buffet style with some of the most mediocre pizza and pasta I've ever had. No wonder no one was in there. I say mediocre... let's face it- the food sucked.

After choking down crappy fettuccine alfredo and mushy shrimp we headed to the Oshkosh store to find River some new clothes. By the way, he just turned six months and weighs about 20 lbs so his clothing selection is pretty slim at home. He can wear up to 18 month clothes now. When we go out in public people always ask his age and when we tell them they look at us like, "Really? You sure?" 

Yes. He's big. No fat. Just big.

The Oshkosh store was having a killer sale and it also has a way better selection of baby clothes than any of the stores here. No stupid puppies playing baseball or frogs on skateboards! Just good cute clothes. I got him four new pieces for $11.

 We then went to the Earthbound Trading Company and I scored this incense burner, incense matches, an elephant ring holder and two letter "Zs" for about $8.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with the Zs.... I just couldn't pass them up for less than a dollar each.

On the way out we saw two teenage girls freaking out and saying, "what was that?! It scared me! Some kind of beetle thing!" I looked down and stopped my husband just as he was about to squish this demonic looking massive roach thing with the wheels of the stroller.  Even with my husband's hand in the shot for size comparison, you can't really tell how enormous that thing was. I'm not afraid of bugs at all, in fact I kind of like them but that thing was a little too big and too ugly for my taste.

Have you seen this kind of bug? What on earth is it?!?!

So how was your weekend??