teenage dirtbag

 

Sunday evening me and my little family went to a church gathering thingy. It was hot. There were mosquitoes but also plenty beer.

Beer at a church function.

Lots of it.

We're Presbyterian.

We'll, the husband is Presbyterian... and I take advantage of it.

 Here's what I wore. Are you sick of seeing the same clothes over and over yet?

Well too bad! My girdle went missing!!

Without my blubber control I can't wear half the dresses in my closet!

Who stole my girdle? Was it you?? How about YOU!?

I bet it was you.

You look shady as heck.

  I seriously keep forgetting to go buy a new girdle. Mine's been missing for about two months...

NO! I shouldn't have to BUY a new girdle! Just give me mine back!!!

Me and that girdle go WAY back like car seats.

It's seen me through the best of times - like when my fat belly started getting pushed out waaay too early when I was pregnant with Cedar...

...and the worst of times... 

Like a 100 lbs weight gain in 5 years...

 So here's some odd news.

It's actually kind of sad really but I'm not too torn up about it.

They whole gypsy trailer thing? Yeah. That got put on the back burner.

Why?

Well after we found the right trailer, I sat down and calculated how much our monthly living expenses would be with trailer payments, insurance and lot rent.

I  was expecting to see some beautifully low numbers.

NOPE.

It would actually cost us MORE money to live gypsy style than it would for us to stay put right were we are. Our current cost of living is SO low, living in a travel trailer would cost MORE!! Our goal was to live UNDER our means to save money while seeing the county... but it looks like that plan needs to change, approached differently or be dropped all together. 

So because I was sure we were about to move I had put off any kind of home renovations and customization. Well, now I'm back on it. I free handed this mehndi-inspired design on the kids playroom closet door. I know it looks rough right now, but after I add color, all the lines and stuff will be even-upped and smoothed out. So yeah. That's... that.

Aaaand look who's walking!

ok, here goes:

Thursday I went the the hospital to meet the doctor that will be doing my c-section in less than three weeks.

Me and River waited to be seen for an hour and a half. The appointment was set for 1:30pm. At 2:30pm I went to the front desk to ask if maybe I had my appointment time wrong (I've been known to do that).

Nope, they said. That's just how it is. Psshshh!! You know, you can only keep a one year old quiet and still for so long. He was at his breaking point and so was I.

 I finally saw the doc at 3:00pm and all she did was check the baby's heartbeat. That's it!! It took FIVE MINUTES!! She didn't introduce herself. She didn't even know the date of the surgery. She didn't go over the procedure or give me any info about anything. It was a waste of time and I wasn't a very happy camper. But as usual, I just smiled, thanked her and dashed the heck out of there before River turned into the Incredible Hulk.

So, as you can see I wasn't looking or feeling too glamorous that day. It was hot outside.... SO hot. My feet feet were so swollen they were pouring out over the sides of my sandals and I can't close my legs anymore when I sit. I look like an old bow legged cow and needless to say, I walk like one too.

I took this photo after leaving my appointment. A nice volunteer in a golf cart gave me and River a ride to my car. This is what I looked like after being outside for less than a minute in 98F weather. Yes! I sweat! A LOT!  I know you've all read gripes about my sweaty battle with summer but here's the proof. I hate summer and summer hates me. This is why my blog posts drop off so much during the summer. What am I supposed to blog about? What I didn't wear? How many times I have to change my sweaty underpants in one day? No seriously... you wanna hear about it?

Naaahhh... I'll save that one for later.

So tell me: how well do you handle summertime?

sssssssssizzle!

Sunday me and the boys took my mom out for a belated birthday lunch at a Chinese buffet. Oooh fancy right? Well, she lives in a pretty small town and Chinese is about as fancy as it gets there. Plus it's cheap, delicious and just what I had been craving so yay? Yay. 

 I completely forgot to get a good pic of my mom. She's 58 now and I think she looks pretty darn good. I think she's got some kind of anti-aging disease. I hope I catch it.

Tasty noobler time!

*************************

Today for church I wore a Walmart dress I bought for Easter this year. Honestly, I hate it. I hate the color, I hate the cut,  I hate the stripes but it was the only thing I could find that would fit my growing belly at the last minute then. Now I'm 36 weeks pregnant and my clothing options are very slim so I gotta do what I gotta do. Would you believe me if I told you I started this blog as a maternity fashion blog? Ppshhh. I quickly learned that I've got neither the patience or the money for that.

I bet you didn't catch any of what I just said because you were too busy gawking at my necklace.

KRISTA MADE IT! KRISTA MADE IT! KRISTA MADE IT!!!

Yes, THE Krista from one of the best blogs EVAR, Peetee's Palace. She sent it to me a couple weeks ago and I am in LOVE with it! Lemme tell you, the tassels are super soft like a kitten's tummy. Every time I pick it up I brush the tassels on my lips and face. Is that weird? Yeah, I probably should have kept that part to myself. 

The handbag came from Salvation Army, the sunglasses from Romancing the Stone (Earthbound Trading Co.) clearance and the hair clip is from Etsy. I actually ordered it for my wedding a few years ago. We were going for a tropical punk rock theme but the cost of fresh tropical flowers was waaaaaaay beyond what we could afford so we had to change things up a bit.

I'm in my mom's backyard for these pics by the way. It used to be lush with fruit trees and muscadine but since my mom is extreeeeemely allergic to all fruits, there was no reason the tend the trees when she and my step-dad moved in so most of them died.

    Well, one tree is growing pears, but they're pretty much just ornamental fruit. Hard as rocks and super bitter.

While taking pics outside, River made a new buddy. 

The poor darlings were both pretty frustrated about being separated by that darn fence. Can't you tell?

Well that's it for now party people.

I'm linked up for the third time ever for Share-in-Style! WEEEE!! See ya there??

sounds like a plan

Now that my back is all healed up from a tweak from a bad turn, I'm still left with the "crunchy-spine" lower back pain of pregnancy. Instead of my pelvis growing slowly during throughout this pregnancy, it has decided to do all of its expanding over the past couple weeks. Now I'm waddling, I'm creaking and popping, I'm moaning and groaning and really just all around miserable...

But I've got too much to do around the house to stop moving and park on the couch for the next seven weeks. I was unable to start the ironing business Monday because I totally forgot that I'm hosting my own baby shower this Saturday and my house could reeeeeeally use some deep cleaning- so I've been doing that since Monday. I got started cleaning early so I can take my sweet time move at a low comfortable pace and do just one room a day. 

But wait - why am I hosting my own baby shower? Well, when I was pregnant with River my Aunt hosted Thanksgiving that year and it was also supposed to double as a baby shower for me. Well.... SHE KINDA FORGOT TO TELL THE REST OF THE FAMILY. So we returned home with a baby blanket and about $10 in cash.

Later, one person offered to throw me a shower. She was a lady from my church... not family or even a close friend. Just a nice lady trying to help but I think she forgot she offered so I didn't get a shower until River was 3 months old. It was hosted by another nice church lady, it was pretty small and we didn't get much but I really truly appreciated the effort. And this year? No one has even mentioned throwing me a baby shower so I decided to just do my own. No biggie. I LOVE hosting parties so this works out just fine.

We're going to have a super colorful fiesta. It's not going to be all pink and frills with a bunch of giggling ladies sipping punch and gushing over tiny little socks. It's just going to be a party. Just a fun party with beer and burritos.

I think River's already pretty bored with all the party planning, cleaning and talks of the new wee one. He is, after all, about to be dethroned in a seven short weeks. Nothing really to be excited about.

the blah of July!

Ok, so there's really not much need for me to fully narrate what's going on these photos. 

You all know what's going on. So here:

Blah, blah, blah family and friends. 30 weeks pregnant blah blah blah.  Food, blah, blah. Yeah! 

...patriotic nails blah blah, blah... and then... blah blah blooooo.

Right? So, blah blah blah newborn baby blah, blah, so tiny. Tee hee, blah blah.

 Trailer park blah blah blah, American pride blah blah, blah blah blah 4th of July. And blah. Blah blah hate blah blah summer. But of course I blah blah blah. Always!

 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blue skinny jeans blah patriotic wonk wonk wonk River.

 ... blah wonk wonk blooooooooooo daddy blah smile - America.

 BBQ and hamburgers blah blah grilled blah yummy blah blah bleh.

 And then blah blah blah blah with the blah blah sparklers... kids everywhere blah blah blah dangerous blah blah, stayed away.

 Blah! USA!!! Blah blah blah, mediocre poorly planned fireworks show. Blah blah fireworks setting on camera blah blah? Blah artsy!

 So blah blah blah hormonal blah blah clean the house. See? America blah blah Brits? Canadians? Blah! Blah blah wonk.

Blah.

oddball

Here's a brief lookie loo from Father's Day (which was on the 15th).

River got his Daddy a special coffee mug from snapfish.com for a Father's Day gift. Well I bought it, and.... you know what I mean...

Later that day...

With nothing planned for the rest of the day, we decided to try out this fancy kiddie pool that was given to us as a gift a few weeks ago.

The word got out that we were having waterific fun... 

Hello company!

And then this happened:

My husband bought this giant vinyl banner from a company that installs and removes them from billboards. Instead of throwing the banners away, the company sell them for super cheap to be used as tarps and anything else you can imagine.

We used ours as a giant redneck slip-n-slide.

Welcome to the trailer park life.

I hope everyone had a great Father's Day weekend!

See ya laters.

11 weeks left.