the scenic route

Hey there lords and ladies. I hope thou art good? Well... 

'Art thou well?' I guess is the right way to phrase that. I dunno. We don't speak fancy talk at the faire.

So anywho - it's back up in the 70s here and I'm pretty bummed out about it.

We got a little snow Friday but then Texas decided that's all we needed and cancelled winter again.

This has been one of the most bizarre winters I can recall. Highs often stretching up into the 70s and then plunging into the low 30s at noight. Just plain crazy.

All of these photos were taken with my phone. Sorry I'm not sorry.

So here's what I wore to church Sunday. I think I've only worn this dress twice and I've been avoiding it like the plague because it requires some serious um.... undershaping...

I'm not a fan of body shapers and I will go through great lengths to avoid wearing one, but I hate that "is that a baby bump?" raised eyebrow stare.

Heck, baby bump? I look like I'm 6 months with twins.

Jiggly, squishy, gelatinous twins.

I ordered this shaper on Amazon months ago to possibly wear under my dance costume for our Pirate's Ball last year but the boning in it was too flexible and the top rolled down under my back fat, creating all kinds of unsightly bulges bumps under my clothes. I came back to it recently and realized that I could just simply remove the boning. So snip, snip, slip and hooray! Boning begone! Why the heck would they put boning in a stretchy body shaper anyway? Isn't that the point of wearing a body shaper? So you DON'T have to wear a corset??

Look at that figure. Mmm good! 

Oh, and here's a dirt cheap bracelet I got from eBay months ago that I completely forgot I own. I think it cost maybe $2? It's super heavy and the photos just don't do it justice. It's bootyfull.

And here's my face! Not intentionally airbrushed - I think the camera was on "beautifying" mode.

So what have you crazy coocoo heads been up to lately?