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Tuesday, November 22, 2016

like I escaped the loony bin.

We all went to the park Sunday and I handed my husband my camera so I could fix my necklace and he took a few pics. No biggie. OK, so when I check the camera I see this crap. How did my husband not notice I seriously missed some buttons on my sweater and was walking around looking like a mental patient! On top of that, I wasn't wearing any makeup and my hair was in in pigtails that I pulled together into one rubber band so there was a little nub of hair sticking out the back of my head. 

I must have looked absolutely CRAZY! No wonder people were acting weird around me.

I've deleted the worst of the photos. They're were just too much - too to terrible to share, so look at my kids and this rare Texas autumn scenery instead.

  So anywho - sorry I've been MIA these past couple weeks.
Gotta get those Thank$giving and Chri$tmas posts done over at the other blawg, if you know what I mean. You know, the whole blogging for money because I've got bills to pay thing....
I've made some pretty killer bohemian gift guides for Christmas and all sorts of cool stuff over there. So yeah, feel free to check it out...
It won't hurt my feelings one bit if you don't!
Ok, maaaaaybe a little.
Not much.
Just enough to make me cry.

Time to go see what you crazy beasts have been up to while I've got a little time.

Monday, November 7, 2016

color code confusion

I absolutely hate for my clothes to match. I don't know why. I've been purposely mismatching my clothes since I was old enough to dress myself; but today I really needed something to go over this red-orange-melon (?) dress to cover my boobage and this jacket thing was all I could dig up.
I have other stuff it's just...
I haven't folded laundry or hung up clothes in weeks.

I've come down with a serious case of the "Eff Its" when it comes to cleaning my bedroom.
We only sleep in there! Who cares if it's clean? No one is going to see it. Eff it! I'll save my time and energy and just eff it.

And now I can't find anything.

It wasn't really my intentions to match me a Cedar's outfits. I was laying out her church clothes last night and felt she would need something to cover her arms now that it's getting cooler and the only thing she had that would look good with that dress was this red-orange-melon (?) shrug-cardi thing.


Oh yeah, so two um... interesting things happened to me yesterday. If you follow me on Facebook then you've probably already heard about the first one but here's the full convo.

In Walmart whilst browsing the tiny Mexican food section a toothless middle-aged man in asked me:

MAN: Have you ever heard of pigs brains in a can?

*Let me interrupt this story real quick to ask: Who the @#$% starts a conversation like that?

ME: Mmm... no. Do they sell them here?

MAN: I don't know. I'm looking for them. I can't find them anywhere.

ME: I don't think they'd sell that here. Pigs brains in a can? probably not.

MAN: Yeah, no one around here sells them.

ME: And what do you do with them?

MAN: You scramble them in eggs. It's an old recipe.

ME: (Begins to walk away) Yeah, you're not going to find those those here...

MAN: There's a recipe on the back of the can!

ME: (Speeding away) Alright.

Second incident. Er, accident rather.
I found a small leftover poo pebble on the living room floor from a crapsident my daughter had a couple hours earlier. I picked it up (yes with my bare hands) and the dirty diaper my husband left in the middle of the floor and headed for the trash can. I miss-stepped over the makeshift barrier that keeps Cedar out of the kitchen and fell like an old rotten tree in the woods. It happened so fast, there was no stumbling and I didn't even get to put my arms out to catch myself.

BAM! I hit my forehead on the vacuum, landed with most of my weight on my upper arm, and scraped the skin off the top of my foot which is still sore and swollen.
And to add insult to injury...

I squished the poo ball in my hand when I fell.

My husband came back indoors in time to help me get up. Poo still in hand.
He didn't believe I was injured because I was laughing at myself so hard.
I'm just grateful that I'm still young enough to be able to take a fall like that without breaking a hip.
All this blubber helped me bounced like a rubber ball.
I knew it would come in handy some day.

So, did anything interesting happen to you this weekend?

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