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Monday, June 29, 2015

teenage dirtbag

Sunday evening me and my little family went to a church gathering thingy. It was hot. There were mosquitoes but also plenty beer.
Beer at a church function.
Lots of it.
We're Presbyterian.
We'll, the husband is Presbyterian... and I take advantage of it.
 Here's what I wore. Are you sick of seeing the same clothes over and over yet?
Well too bad! My girdle went missing!!
Without my blubber control I can't wear half the dresses in my closet!
Who stole my girdle? Was it you?? How about YOU!?
I bet it was you.
You look shady as heck.
  I seriously keep forgetting to go buy a new girdle. Mine's been missing for about two months...
NO! I shouldn't have to BUY a new girdle! Just give me mine back!!!
Me and that girdle go WAY back like car seats.
It's seen me through the best of times - like when my fat belly started getting pushed out waaay too early when I was pregnant with Cedar...
...and the worst of times... 
Like a 100 lbs weight gain in 5 years...
 So here's some odd news.
It's actually kind of sad really but I'm not too torn up about it.
They whole gypsy trailer thing? Yeah. That got put on the back burner.
Well after we found the right trailer, I sat down and calculated how much our monthly living expenses would be with trailer payments, insurance and lot rent.
I  was expecting to see some beautifully low numbers.
It would actually cost us MORE money to live gypsy style than it would for us to stay put right were we are. Our current cost of living is SO low, living in a travel trailer would cost MORE!! Our goal was to live UNDER our means to save money while seeing the county... but it looks like that plan needs to change, approached differently or be dropped all together. 
So because I was sure we were about to move I had put off any kind of home renovations and customization. Well, now I'm back on it. I free handed this mehndi-inspired design on the kids playroom closet door. I know it looks rough right now, but after I add color, all the lines and stuff will be even-upped and smoothed out. So yeah. That's... that.
Aaaand look who's walking!

Sunday, June 21, 2015

you know... pirate stuff

 Okie dokie. I'm in a hurry. I want to finish this post as fast as possible so I can go eat another donut and take a nap. 
I'm SO tired I wanna cry. 
Last night me and my crew hosted our 2nd Annual Pirate's Ball (a fundraiser for my renaissance faire) and it was GREAT! We had a great turn out and over half of our attendants drove a couple hundred miles (from the Dallas/Ft. Worth area) just to come to the event. Crazy! I saw a few unfamiliar faces which is supreme good news. That means two things: people in Texarkana are starting to not be so afraid of our "outrageous" events AND I'm doing good on marketing.
I was pretty lazy with my costuming this time. It's so gross and humid due to the incessant raining and heat so I decided to skip on the skirts and bodice and even let the jiggle belly go un-girdled.
I'm wearing a tunic from Lotus Traders, a pashmina scarf to vest thingy, some stretch lounge pants, faux-suede boots, a beaded Indian belt, some cheap bohemian-esque jewelry from eBay and a fake nose ring. Effortless gypsy pirate.
So anywho, here are some random photos I took throughout the night. Time to get a scrolling-finger work out because I'm too darn sleepy to collage these pics. Soooo.... ENJOY!


Costume contest!
 Hosted and judged by Jack Sparrow!

 The costume contest winners got Jolly Roger flags.

That's all!!
If you wanna see more photos from the ball feel free to visit our album on Facebook.
Ya'll have fun!

Sunday, June 14, 2015

no cookies, no grains, no job, no nudity

Hey everybody! You know what time it is? It's HOLLIE TIME!!
Yo. How's it going. You doing good? All cool? Cool.
It's Sunday, it's noon and I'm fat, I'm hungry and I'm ready to party...
and by party I mean browse Pinterest and eat brownies for the rest of the day. 
Yesterday we took a little trip to see the husband's parents in Nacogdoches, TX.
It's boring two hour drive.
When we arrived we were supposed to check out the town's annual Blueberry Festival but when we pulled up it started raining cats and dogs and elephants too. Everyone in the festival was scrambling to get out of there. It didn't look like the rain would be stopping any time soon so we just continued to the inlaw's house.
▲▲This is the face of a man who has been robbed of a golden opportunity to get pie.▲▲

The rain hadn't reached the inlaw's house when we got there (and they weren't even there yet), so we seized the opportunity to take some photos.  

Just thinkin' about what's inside that trashcan out there. Lovely.

  And then the rain came. It was pretty awesome. Just my type of storm - no thunder or lightning. Just heavy rain, a little wind and cool temperatures. Ahhhhhh yesss...

  And River FINALLY got to play in rain for the first time evar!

So the inlaws came home. the rain stopped. Both kid's got a costume change. We ate some pretty effin' awesome ravioli and shrimp stuff. We hung out outside - which was gross and sticky thanks to the sun coming out after the rain.
Granny tried to help Cedar get over her phobia of grass.
And here's my first "wildlife photo". Look at these savage beasts! I can't believe I got so close to such wild and dangerous animals! I could have lost and eye or a limb or worse... A NOSE!
 Soooo, That's it. Oh wait!
In my last post I was whining about super pic-heavy posts and mentioned bloggers need to put photos in a collage to put an end to BRSMFIS (blog-reader-scrolling-mouse-finger-injuries)  right?
Well, many of you said you don't know how to put photos in collages.
That's a dang shame.
Let me help you... because, you know, the world revolves around me AND my opinion about you and your blog and how you do things is very important.
Seriously, though. PicMonkey is the way to go if you would like to collage your photos. It's crazy stupid easy to use and making collages is a breeze. For realz.
Save a finger.
Collage your pics.

Monday, June 8, 2015

I made it from scratch

Alright, alright, simmer down. I know I'm late with my weekly blog post. You just couldn't make it through the weekend without me, huh? You cried yourself to sleep at night, you had fits and withdrawals and you probably even got sick at the thought that I might never come back to the blogging world.
Well, never fear. Here I is... am. Here I am.
And I'm wearing another scarf turned vest thingy.
Click HERE to find out how to make your own.
I took a lot of  photos this weekend but I'm nice enough to put them in collages for you. Why don't all bloggers do that? It should be a frggin' law. Don't make people scroll through twenty-one photos of you in slightly different poses from one to the next featuring each dang piece of clothing and jewelry you have on. We get it! You look great, ok?! My finger hurts! Scroll, scroll, scroll.
Ugh, and mom bloggers are the worse.. with the kids and photos of their food and Starbucks. How many different angles of your skinny latte do you really feel people need to see?!?!? 
I've pretty much given up on mom-blogs. Not mine. I like mine. I mean... the others... {cue the ominous music and lightening strike}
So as you'll see in the photos below we took the kiddos to the park. This was the first time Cedar's got to experience it. And by experience it, I mean... eat gravel.

Cedar's sunbath Sunday morning. She doesn't get out much and was starting to look a little jaundicy. Or so I think. I could just be a paranoid mama. Either way, a little sun won't hurt.
And River got his first real ouchie this weekend. I wasn't there to witness the accident, I just heard the thud and the heart breaking cry of pain coming from the hallway. From the looks of it, I think he caught a jutting hinge on the door to his nursery. It started off as a little scratch but the next morning it looked like this. He's doing just fine now, though. He's a tough kid.

And I found this happy guy waiting for me yesterday morning. I guess the farmer lady we get our eggs from has some seriously jolly chickens.
So that's it for now. Time to go get caught up with blog reading, blog posting on the other blog, faire stuff, faire fundraiser stuff, faire sponsorship stuff, more blog stuff, baby stuff, cooking stuff, drinking gin at noon stuff... you know. The usual.


Oh, and if you like parenting stuff, go check out my other blog. Please.

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