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Monday, January 25, 2016

Wedding. Tennessee. Photos. Stuff.

I'm in a wee bit of a hurry so I can't give you much of a detailed post but I can give you a buttload of photos to look at from the weekend.

Did you know that a buttload is an actual unit of measurement?

Anywho - me and the family took little road trip (277 miles) to the Memphis, Tennessee area for my sister-in-law's wedding.
Sister-in-laws wedding? You ask.
I'll explain in the post.

Government approved traffic sign in TN.

Settling into our hotel room.

The wedding venue. Rustic chic.

And here's the bride and groom! Isn't she gorgeous?
So lemme tell you about this special wedding.
Dori (the bride) is my late brother-in-law's widow.
Did that make sense?
The wife of my husband's brother who passed away a few years ago.

Dori and Zack (my husband's brother) were married about four years when Zach tragically passed away from cancer. Before he met Dori, Zach beat cancer and then his life was improved a million times over when he met and married this Albanian beauty. Unfortunate Zach's cancer came back with a vengeance and Dori cared for him with undying love and patience until he passed away.
 I've never seen loyalty shine so brightly  - I get choked up every time I think about it.

Dori's immediate family all live in Albania so Zach's parent became much like her adoptive mother and father which makes her still very much a part of our family.
Dori and Rob (the new husband) started dating last year (?) and tied the knot this weekend.
I don't know Rob but he seems like a really nice, super laid back, groovy kind of fellow. He's going to fit in well.

Wedding bathroom selfie.

My family.

After the bride and groom had their first dance, the bride pulled out a white handkerchief and twirled it about and her mom put a white fez on the groom. They joined hands, got in a circle and danced a traditional Albanian celebratory dance to some sweet Albanian pop music. I wanted to join so badly but I had to hang on to a super grumpy toddler.

The wedding favors were chocolates made by a family friend.

That night after I struggled to get the kids to go to sleep (it was awful -THEY were AWFUL) I rewarded myself with a giant burger from the cafe downstairs and local coffee milk ale. 

Quiet time in a hotel room with a burger was tremendously blissful.

The next morning. 


 Yeah, Cedar got one nasty boo boo at the wedding. After family portraits she took off running and hit the pavement face first. 

We all went to the Memphis Pyramid which is now a ridiculously huge Bass Pro Shop.
I don't give a crap about Bass Pro Shops but that place was pretty sweet.
There were live animals, restaurants, aquatic displays and even a bowling ally. 
This giant elevator takes you to the top of the pyramid and also to a bar.  
We had to cut our stay short because I was losing my patience with my baby girl.
Cedar squirmed and cried and threw fits the entire trip and I was reaching the end of my rope. 
She was teething, going through a growth spurt, in unfamiliar surroundings -  all with a fresh wicked face injury.
She. Was. Not. Happy.
So we left and headed back to good ol' Tejas.

River turned three on the 20th!
I let him have a go at a lolly pop. And then I tossed it. I'm just not a fan of candy but hey, it was his birthday.

We took him out to eat at a little restaurant with an indoor playground and took him over to a pet supply store to see the animals.

Look at this champ! Someone suggested we tell people she got into a fight with another baby. I'm going to run with that because that's hilarious.

Sunday, January 17, 2016


It's not even 4pm and I'm already thinking about beer.
Hang on - I'm going to go get one right now. 
Ok, I know you can't tell but I was gone for like 20 minutes. I had to give the kids a snack, ask my husband to take out the trash and change my pajama pants because they were damp for some odd reason. 

So here's what we wore to church today.
I'm sporting a handed down halter sun dress with handed down boots and my fake ponytail wrapped up into a bun.
River jumped in on my pics and posed so sweetly.
Amazing isn't it?
When you WANT to take pics of your kids, cooperation will never be found.
Try to get some pics of yourself and all of a sudden they're Pampers models.

I'm sure you've seen his adorable Chinese shirt already. It's a whole set but with the matching pants he looks like he's in a sweet pair of luxury pajamas and I don't wanna give off the impression that we're so rich that we let our son run about in brocade lounge-wear... you know, because the neighbor's trailer in background of my photos with the aluminum foil covering the window is a surefire sign that we are indeed sooooo bourgeois.

No that's not a baby bump you're seeing there.
That's fat.
Just plain old fat.... and a bad angle.
But mostly fat.

But hey, I am fulfilling my New Years resolution of losing 100lbs. Seventeen days in and I've lost five pounds already from simply putting down the dang fork and lying off the booze.
Yay me.

Time to go blog stalking. See ya soon.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Life's Not Faire

Well let me just get straight to the point.
I stepped down as director of my own faire yesterday.
Yeah. I was ready to pull the plug on the whole operation two years ago but I decided to wait a year to make sure that was what I really wanted needed to do.

I'm giving the faire to a man who has been by my side since the very beginning. He loves faires, he loves the faire perhaps more than I do. He's much older than me and has a better head for business.

There are several reasons why I'm backing out. Many of the reasons are negative... but I didn't tell my crew that. I don't think they need to know that either. I've announced that it was due to lack of time thanks to my two toddlers and my other blog - which is very true but...

I don't want to do this faire for the rest of my life. I'm not a rennie. I'm just a chick who likes to dress up and throw big parties but a faire can't be treated like that. There's so much more to it. Courts and traditions and all sorts of hoopla I'm just not too crazy about.

All of my plans I had for my future got pushed to the side to make way for the faire. I struggled to try to make the faire fit in WITH my plans but in the end it would just gobble up everything I envisioned. I can't continue rearranging my future for something I'm not "that in to".

I've planned this faire through two pregnancies and two c-sections. I went back to work the day AFTER I came home from the hospital last year because I only had four weeks to finish preparing for the faire. I requested my baby be born early so I could have more time to heal after my c-section. I was up on my feet running an effing renaissance faire four weeks after a c-section.

Very few people understand what it takes to make this faire happen.
They think I just wake up and snap my fingers and it all falls into place.

If it's not good enough for them, then they think I didn't try hard enough.
If something goes wrong, then they think I didn't prepare well enough.
If attendance is low, I didn't advertise enough.
If there aren't enough vendors, it's because I'm an incompetent event planner.

I'm tired. I'm worn out. I don't just need a break. I need to move on.

Texarkana needs this faire so I will train the crew on the basics as much as I can, wish them luck and bid them farewell.

I started this faire with barely even an idea of what a faire was, $200 and a notebook of ideas.
I made something from nothing and I want to get away from it so badly I don't even mind if I never even get credit for starting it.

I might continue as Daniella Noir the Gypsy Queen though. I love performing and I love my gypsies. I will always support the faire and I pray that it does well. I'm not angry, I'm not bitter - I'm just doing what's best for me and my family... and my sanity.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

2015: The year of the octopus mummy

I'm sitting here in a worn navy blue sundress, using a basket of clean laundry and a dirty pillow as a chair. My hair is in a top-knot any my flyaways have a personality of their own. They're mean and frequently use racial slurs. Outside, a group of martians are spending up left over New Years fireworks. It sounds like a war. Cannon fire. 
I'm tired and you're sexy.
Looking back at 2015 I realized that sometimes bears just don't wanna be hugged. They don't want to be touched at all. They just want to listen to Johnny Cash and eat grapefruits in peace just like everyone else.
Save the whales.

Here's a look at my 2015. Enjoy.

The introduction of beer and wine to the Texas half of the city I live in, Texarkana. It was a glorious day.

Me and my crew hosted a steampunk themed Mardi Gras ball.
It didn't go over well. Our attendance was about 10.
I'm really starting to hate this town.

My grandfather turned 90.

I spent my 30th birthday with my family at a new faire that our friends and supporters opened in Kilgore, TX. The faire suffered tremendously from excessive rainfall during one weekend, but I think the mud kind of added to the whole middle ages theme.

My husband and I celebrated our 5th year wedding anniversary and I got myself a stellar tattoo.
Ok, I don't think it's that stellar any more. Looking back, I think I should have gotten it much bigger.  The ink has settled and it's starting to look kind of muddled. Oh, well.

Me and the crew hosted our second annual Pirate's Ball. Attendance was significantly higher that the last even but consisted mostly of people we already knew that came in from out of town and very few locals. It was fun but I'm just not that into pirates.

This was the month of homemade lavender absinthe. Look at it. Just look at it!

You see the swing set behind me? Yeah, I sat my fat butt on it one evening and snapped the top beam in twain. It came crashing down on my noggin and gave me a spectacular concussion. It took me a month to fully recover. In case you've never had one, a concussion feels like being slightly drunk... all the time.

Faire time! We had an ok faire. The gate count and  merchant number was about the same as last year but we didn't break even. Yeah, we didn't make all our money back on this one. Oh, well. The faire LOOKED significantly better this year and we had more cast, games and activities. Everyone seemed pretty happy but I still have an enormous hotel bill looming over my head.
What idiot pays for their entertainer's  food and hotel rooms? Me. I'm that idiot.
But I got to perform as Daneilla Noir the gypsy queen for the first time though! Unable to practice or choreograph anything thanks to the concussion I just improved and kept my routines quick and simple... it was also very hot.

Baby Jimi Hendrix. You're welcome.

Went to a friend's 50s themed wedding.

Christmas and stuff.

Aaaaand that brings us to now.
Ok, so. That's it.
How was your 2015?
Learn any new languages?

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