Well let me just get straight to the point.
I stepped down as director of my own faire yesterday.
Yeah. I was ready to pull the plug on the whole operation two years ago but I decided to wait a year to make sure that was what I really wanted needed to do.
I'm giving the faire to a man who has been by my side since the very beginning. He loves faires, he loves the faire perhaps more than I do. He's much older than me and has a better head for business.
There are several reasons why I'm backing out. Many of the reasons are negative... but I didn't tell my crew that. I don't think they need to know that either. I've announced that it was due to lack of time thanks to my two toddlers and my other blog - which is very true but...
I don't want to do this faire for the rest of my life. I'm not a rennie. I'm just a chick who likes to dress up and throw big parties but a faire can't be treated like that. There's so much more to it. Courts and traditions and all sorts of hoopla I'm just not too crazy about.
All of my plans I had for my future got pushed to the side to make way for the faire. I struggled to try to make the faire fit in WITH my plans but in the end it would just gobble up everything I envisioned. I can't continue rearranging my future for something I'm not "that in to".
I've planned this faire through two pregnancies and two c-sections. I went back to work the day AFTER I came home from the hospital last year because I only had four weeks to finish preparing for the faire. I requested my baby be born early so I could have more time to heal after my c-section. I was up on my feet running an effing renaissance faire four weeks after a c-section.
Very few people understand what it takes to make this faire happen.
They think I just wake up and snap my fingers and it all falls into place.
If it's not good enough for them, then they think I didn't try hard enough.
If something goes wrong, then they think I didn't prepare well enough.
If attendance is low, I didn't advertise enough.
If there aren't enough vendors, it's because I'm an incompetent event planner.
I'm tired. I'm worn out. I don't just need a break. I need to move on.
Texarkana needs this faire so I will train the crew on the basics as much as I can, wish them luck and bid them farewell.
I started this faire with barely even an idea of what a faire was, $200 and a notebook of ideas.
I made something from nothing and I want to get away from it so badly I don't even mind if I never even get credit for starting it.
I might continue as Daniella Noir the Gypsy Queen though. I love performing and I love my gypsies. I will always support the faire and I pray that it does well. I'm not angry, I'm not bitter - I'm just doing what's best for me and my family... and my sanity.
Well I must say I hope at least you made some $ from all your hard efforts when you sold it to someone else.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't fun to put so much effort into something only to feel stressed and unhappy.
You are a powerhouse of a woman and I know you'll find something else that will make you happier and hopefully make you some $ at the same time.
Big hugs!
Suzanne
I've never understood how you did it all anyway! You're a goddess, and now you've brought beauty to Texarkana in the form of a faire, it's right that you should move on and spread beauty in whatever form works for you and your lovely family. Much luck and hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteHollie, I agree with the comment above! I honestly don't know how you found the energy and time do organize this faire. Girl, you're a rock star! But yeah...if it's time to move on, then so be it. Here's to better opportunities coming your way:)
ReplyDeleteI have huge huge admiration for what you have done in starting your local faire! To take an idea and run with it and make it success? Absolutely amazing. So congratulations on that alone. And also congratulations on being able to walk away from it as well. Now that it's going, I hope you can take part on a purely fun basis.
ReplyDeleteMedals to you for your work. Onwards!
While your faire sounded very interesting, it also certainly sounded like it was a heck of a lot of work for what seemed like minimal payback in joy and money.
ReplyDeleteLife is too short to waste large chunks of time doing something that isn't emotionally fulfilling or, in lieu of that, bringing in some good money. In other words, you can spend time doing something you don't love so much, but that brings in good money. Such a situation would go a long way in helping with your future, when you then would be able to spend time doing something you absolutely love but might not pay well.
So, that said, it sounds like you're making the right decision. Although I'm sure it's been hard for you. Now you'll have the time to pursue the things that make you feel awesome.
You will probably enjoy it much more now that you aren't in charge of it :) It may be bittersweet at first, but you will enjoy dancing in as Daniella Noir---and then going home when you feel like it. All the best, Hollie!
ReplyDelete