what's that... oh, bye!

It's been pretty slow around here lately. Nothing too spectacular has happened since the 4th of July. Well, I went grocery shopping today and shot a cow with a bazooka. I'm not proud of that last thing but it's something right?

 I jacked up my back a couple days ago (for the fifth time this year) so I've been taking it easy. Lounging on the couch, pimping the Faire, selling crap online and I've even been setting up to start my own temp ironing service. Yup- an old fashioned ironing service!! That all gets launched Monday and I'm actually pretty excited about it. I'll do it until the baby comes in September and then pick back up after the Faire in October.

Entire Outfit under $10

Shirt dress (edit: it's actually blue) - recent hand-me-down from aunt

Pink Chucks - Salvation Army

Yellow handkerchief - Wal Mart

Yeah, I know it's a pretty boring outfit, but it's stupid hot outside now. The less I wear the better. I'd go about in a swimsuit like Miss Vix if I could but I'd probably get arrested for indecent exposure with my hairy legs, lumpy butt and cellulite knees. Yes, it's true. I have cellulite down to my knees.

 

So, why an ironing service?  It's easy, I've already got the fancy equipment, I like money, I'm a fast worker, I can do it from home,  Etsy sales are slow and when I'm done doing faire work the rest of the day is open.... and did I mention I like to make money?

Speaking of Etsy - I'm closing up shop until next year. I'll be relaunching in 2015 with a new shop. No, it's not my "Massy Fassy" fascinator shop. I had to drop that one for personal reasons (er, lack of organization and confidence). I'd like to keep the new store a secret until I launch it, but I'll go ahead give you two clues because I'm SO excited about it - here's goes: Ethnic and textiles...

That's all I'm saying.

There's really not much left in the store but what is left, I don't want to keep it - I don't need it... so you go buy it.

And here's a little bonus fer ya before I go. More about... THE ROLLAHS. I've been using these long bendy foam rollers for a few weeks now and I'm just plumb addicted to them. A couple post ago you saw the end results but not the process, so here:

I sleep in them...

Take them out...

 Finger comb my hair (and makeup magically appears)...

And then wrap it up! Easy, fast and best of all, no more damaging heat styling and boring ponytails.

Give it a try! You'll love it.

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Yeah, so now I gotta go make dinner. Turkey burgers with colby jack, arugula and chard. Yeah, food time!

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD TIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!

2+2=5

Silly me, I totally forgot to share with you guys this wonderful little gift I got from everyone's favorite gal pal, Ally from Shybiker. It's a massive and extremely fashionable mug and an awesome card featuring her very own Spy Girl  fashion sketch. I wish I could have gotten better photos, but it's a webcam sort of evening.

If you're not familiar with Ally's blog then... too bad for you. You're missing out on something wonderful!

Well lately I've been swept up in a rare but severe hurricane of family drama for a couple of weeks now. It has nothing to do with me but I've been thrown into it in the worst kind of way.

I've been assigned to be peacemaker.

It's a family war that's been going on for about four years so far and now everyone is at their breaking point.

They're coming to me, desperately seeking help because I'm neutral ground.

Now I've got to grab my whistle, put on my referee shirt and pray that I come out of this alive.

 In between the constant phone calls that deliver nothing but more bad news, I've been working on my line of fascinators for a new online shop I will be opening some time next month (hopefully). 

 The fascinators and headdresses will be large and unusual with a few quickie lower priced barrettes and bobbies that I've made out of leftover materials.

I know you've already seen this autumn piece before, but I just wanted to share it again because I loved it dearly!! I sold it on eBay last week so I can start on Christmas shopping for my husband.

Sometimes when I make crafts I like to do a few pieces fast and without any specific planning just to see what I'll come up with - I guess you would call it "free association crafting". You know like free association writing but with feathers and a glue gun. I came up with this piece in just a few minutes.

Apparently there are some strange things running around in my brain...

I don't know what this is supposed to be.

Hmmm...

{source}

Here's a better photo of the autumn fairy headdress I started on a couple of weeks ago. Now it's hot glue cobweb free and ready to wear.

  I'm trying to make a piece a day, but with all the drama, much needed deep house cleaning and a teething ten month old baby, it's just not happening.

Welp, back to work. I'll post more pics of the new pieces soon.

Thanks for reading and always wipe from front to back.

pretty young thing

Last weekend I finally had the chance to do something I've always wanted to do:

Hit up a post-Halloween sale.

Since I host a lot of events and parties I need costuming stuff. Lots of it. And now that I have a husband and a baby to dress for these events as well, I need triple the amount of costuming accessories.

The Halloween shop's prices weren't as low as I expected, (only 50% off) so I didn't score the haul I was expecting. I did, however, manage to find some heart shaped sun glasses and pilots cap. Two things I've always wanted. Not just for costuming but for everyday kind of of wear. I got some other doodads but nothing that compares to the awesomeness of hearties and a pilots cap.

The pilot cap has been begging me to dress up as Bessie Coleman, the first black female pilot who just so happens to be from one of my hometowns, Atlanta, TX.

 

I think I could pull it off!

This post is about to get a bit random so bear with me.

Here's another one of my .99 cent eBay finds. Isn't it lovely?

For the past week I've been making fascinators and other headpieces for myself and also to sell in my Etsy shop for a little Christmas shopping money. What do you think?

This one with the colorful feathers is still in the making.

And a lace tiara! Would be great for a wedding, no?

All aboard the Random Express! Next stop: pumpkin cornbread!

I've never cooked with pumpkin before until recently when I tried a recipe for pumpkin cornbread dressing with sage and country sausage. It was STUPID AWESOME! My husband bought too much pumpkin so I've been trying to find ways to get rid of it. Ladies and gents: pumpkin cornbread. 

Prepare two packages of sweet cornbread mix (I used Jiffy) and then add a can of pureed pumpkin and cinnamon and nutmeg to the mix. Eat with honey and butter or just by itself... er after you bake it of course. It's like and autumn party in your mouth! (And it's the start of making aforementioned pumpkin dressing)

So that's what I've been up to! How are ya'll doing?

Er, I mean "you all". Not "ya'll".

You.... All.

Sorry.

Watch this video. You wont regret it and it's River approved.

the super sale

It's crunch time for Faire work and I'm super super busy right now so I'm going to have to temporarily close my Etsy shop... sooooo....

I'm having a 50% off sale! Sale ends 8/21/13. Just use code "CRAZYSALE" upon checkout! 

International shipping available on most items. Have fun!

Move over WFW. I'm moving

Yes. Yes I am.

Sorry to disappoint but there will be no Wacky Fashion Wednesday today.

Oh, but why? Eh, we're moving. I forgot to mention it. Probably because we're only moving 100 yds away... into another trailer. Ugh. I am SO sick of trailer life. But as long as my husband is landlord and housing is free, I'm stuck here. We're moving into a three bedroom trailer with a WAY better layout and STORAGE!

Now I am pretty darn excited about that but let's face it, moving just plain sucks.

My mom's Aunt Louise (on the right ca. early 60s) has been put in the nursing home recently so all the nieces and nephews have been cleaning out the apartment she lived in for over 30 years.She was a party animal. She smoked cigarettes and weed and cooked terribly greasy soul food everyday in that tiny space. There is a gross film coating everything in that place and the smell attached to her belongings is unbelievable.

I haven't been in that apartment in about 15 years because 

#1 Aunt Louise scared the hell out of me. She was loud and mean.

#2 The smell and grime

#3 The roaches

#4 She lived in the ghetto

 These stinky, sticky but awesome goods have been passed on to me... or rather I picked them out myself out of the things my mother salvaged and thought I would like. 

Yes isn't this a beautiful vintage ice bucket?

Open it up and it smells like Satan's morning breath in there.

 Now, this dish belongs to me, I just wanted to share how bummed I am about it's current condition and how I am even more bummed that the super glue went missing the day I discovered this. I have no idea how it got broken. It just sat on the table and caught keys, loose buttons and receipts. How the hell did it break in half??

 We're taking our time moving since we don't really need to be out until the 5th so the house has been in a constant state of disarray for the past week. 

Now lemme tell you a a horrific but kinda funny story about Aunt Louise.

 Pay attention:

A long, long time ago after a long day of work Aunt Louise's husband (don't know his name I'll call him Jim) came home and lay down on her giant heirloom four post bed fully clothed (he was a mechanic). 

When she discovered him laying down on her fresh white bedspread she said:

Get off my white bedspread.

JIM: I'm tired. I just wanna to rest a minute.

LOUISE: I said, get off my white bedspread. You're dirty.

JIM: Woman, I'm tired!

LOUISE: Ok...

Aunt Louise leaves the room and returns with a pistol.

Two shots later... that bedspread wasn't white any more... if you know what I mean...

True story.
(EDIT: She didn't kill him...and she didn't go to jail either... don't ask. Don't ask.)

 My fear of Aunt Louise was very understandable don't you think?

She's been stabbed, shot, cursed like sailor and drank like a fish and I clearly remember her wearing a blue leopard print cat suit to a family reunion when she was in her 70s. She was a true badass.

***************

Here's my new gown. Since I can't sew and I'm cheap as heck I got this gown because it was the only affordable one in my size on Etsy. I'm going to bling it out hardcore and my $7 (!) hoop skirt I found online is on it's way. I really want to dye it dark green but I don't wanna take the risk of ruining it since it's all synthetic materials.

  Blinging to commence as soon as we move and get settled in. I'm super excited!
This is the gown in shop, the color in the photo below was waaay off but I like this beige way better. What do you think?

there's something on your upper lip

Today I have a meeting with the owners of the Arrow Bar in downtown Texarkana about my upcoming beard and moustache competition (fundraiser for the faire). The competition was supposed to be on the 20th of this month at a very large and very popular sports bar in town but when I met with the owner a few weeks ago to CONFIRM THE DATES of the event he acted "all brand new". Meaning: even though we discussed the event thoroughly over the phone in the past, it seemed as if he had NO IDEA what I was talking about when we met in person.

The meeting went something like this:

OWNER: So what's all this about?

ME: I'm sorry?

OWNER: What are we meeting about?

ME: Um... the beard and moustache competition...

OWNER: And what's it for?

ME: The Renaissance Faire... (you've gotta be effin'  kidding me) 

OWNER: Oh, yeah... So what is a beard and moustahe competition?

ME: (explains)

OWNER: And you want to have it here?

ME: Yes... (No we wanna have it at Disneyland. I just wanted to get your opinion first.)

OWNER: And what's this for again?

It's become clear to me that the owner is either just too busy to keep up with things like this or he's just got a terrible memory... or both. I had to re-explain everything to him- all the way down to what a beard and moustache competition is. Plus he wouldn't give me a definite yes or no and was very hesitant about the whole thing so I've decided to move on and find a different venue. 

  Some amazingly generous Etsy sellers have already donated items to use as prizes for the competition including teas, spices, moustache wax, stickers, magnets and some extra goodies just because. (I'll share the items in a post later). So with that being said, I MUST host this event! Word has already spread about the competition... plus, I don't wanna send all that stuff back!

Sorry about the shiny makeup-less face. It's hot in here!

 Shirt and skirt: recent Goodwill snags

Vest thingy: Listia auctions for free stuff

Sandals: Pay Half in NY

Necklace: Gift from belly dancer (ex) friend 

 I''m hoping and praying that the owners of this new location have their acts together. If they don't, I just might have to host the event illegally in the Walmart parking lot or in my trailer. Forgetful bar owners??? BAH! "Ain't nobody got time for dat!"