Sunday, April 12, 2015

oh my my my

This is you right now:

No, a tornado did not hit our bedroom and this is not the result of negligent home care.
We're cleaning up and cleaning out!!
HARDCORE
 We've been living like this for a few days and it's a little irritating but it's a beautiful vision of progress!
So what's up with all this cleaning out stuff?
Spring cleaning? 
Er... sort of...
We're more kind of spring cleaning... our lives.
oooohhh... deep.

 We're looking for a travel trailer to live in.
Yeah, we're downsizing from a trailer to a... well, a much smaller trailer.
We're looking for a trailer in complete working order but the cosmetics inside and out, we're not too worried about because we're going to do this to it... or something like this:
Yeah, this one pictured below was awesome but waaaay out of our price range.
Who the heck needs an outdoor kitchen??
Just smile and nod and listen to the nice lady's sales pitch.
 This one was way more affordable with a wonderfully outdated interior that I would LOVE to destroy! But still out of budget. We didn't find what we're looking for but that's ok. We don't have a deadline or anything like that.
 So here's the plan:
I'll keep this brief since there's really quite a lot of details that goes into an adventure like this -  So here are just the main points of the plan.

#1 Clean up and get rid of stuff! I'm going through each room and selling off stuff we don't want, donating clothes we don't wear any more, etc. Even if we change our minds about living in the trailer, this is still something that really needs to be done.

#2. Get the trailer and spice it up.
This isn't quite what were going to do but something like that.

 #3. Move what we can into the new trailer and place what won't fit into storage (that way we'll have it when we buy or build our new home later).

#4. Borrow some land in town to park on. There's plenty to be had with all the farmers and rural friends and family we have around here. Also, we need to stay in town right now so Caleb can continue his job.

#5. Park and live, travel on the weekends.

 But why?? Why would I want to live that way???? What about this kids?? The faire?
No worries, that's all been considered:

First of all, this isn't permanent. We're downgrading and living beneath our means so we can save money for land for the faire. Yup. We're trying to make it a permanent faire with real buildings and all that jazz. 

Trying to turn the city's fairgrounds into a 16th century village kinda sucks... and honestly I hate the way it looks. We need to build a real faire, that runs for more than one weekend and will  generate a real profit and steady income. Also at the faire I can finally open up the bohemian and gypsy thingies shop I've been wanting to open for the past eight years! 

Oh yeah, on the land, we're also building an event venue for weddings and shows to rent out during the off season... there's been talks of a gothic circus but I have zero circus experience so we've kind of put that on the back burner... ok, really it's off the stove completely for now. We'll also host our own non-renaissance festivals during off season too. I've got some awesome ideas for some super groovy festivals I just can't wait to try out!

And the kids? Well from what we saw while looking at trailers, just as long as the trailer has a "bunk house" there's actually plenty room for two kiddos. If they start getting too wild, just send them outside! That's where they belong! I mean just look poor Cedar - she's a vampire! A little sun won't hurt her...
Wait. Or will it? 

I want to travel.
I want my children to see America.
I want to have my faire, my store, my venue and host my events.
I want  my husband to do what he loves and climb mountains and trees and shoot snakes or whatever else people do outside...
I want out of this stupid trailer park.
"I want I want I want" doesn't work well for me.
I'm a doer.
I can only "want" for so long until I snap...and force my family to live in a tiny travel  trailer.

OK BYE!

Oh yeah, I gots me a new fancy phone (for $20!) and I'm finally on Instagram... whatever that is.
Come see me and pictures of my food and stuff...
 

Sunday, April 5, 2015

the Easter lasers

Yay, it's Easter. Celebrate... eggs... church... pastels... florals yaaaay, ok.
So let me kick this post off with a strange tale of our weird run of bad luck recently. It all started last Saturday...

Saturday
A bottle of lotion busted in my purse and clogged up my phone.

Sunday
I bought a new phone and found I wasted $25 on the wrong kind of pre-paid card to add minutes.

Monday
Phone service won't transfer, soooo- no phone.

Tuesday
Old phone kinda starts working, but phone service still won't transfer to the new phone.

Wednesday
Phone service still won't transfer.

Thursday
Husband had a flat tire while out running errands.

Friday
A bottle of water busted in my purse and soaked my old phone that was already near death AND my camera (also chewing gum, some bribery candy for River, a bundle of tampons and my wallet). 
I had removed the battery from my phone to let it dry but after seeing my husband was trying to call me on our land-line (which also doesn't work) I figured something must be up. Indeed he had ANOTHER flat a few towns over on his way from work. We managed to communicate (barely!) with texts. 
I get home... aaaaaand
my laptop crashes.

Saturday
After my Nieces' birthday party at a golf place in the mall, River threw about five limp-bodied, screaming hissy fits all the way to the car. At dinner I burned my fingertips on a pan I just took out of the oven. Then, that night I stubbed my pinky toe so hard on the kitchen table that it's still throbbing with pain and I'm pretty sure it's going to fall off soon.
Sunday
I slept in rollers and got all gussied up for Easter, stepped outside and... 
it's raining!
 TRAGIC!
It can't get any worse than falling curls!!
NOOOOO!! My life is ruined! Forget the phone. Forget the laptop!
LOOK AT MY HAIR!
(Please realize I'm just kidding.)

EDIT: My husband just announced that we now have ANOTHER flat tire. That makes three, folks.
Something smells fishy... and it ain't me.
I showered last night.

Well here's what's keeping me sane through all this though:
I was able to save my phone and camera by drying them out in a bowl of rice. So I still have a phone, I can only text on it but it's better than nothing!
And I'm not sure what the heck is going on with the new phone and why I can't activate the darn thing. Also, we have a desktop computer and a friend recently sold us a tablet for super cheap so I'll survive quite nicely until I get my laptop fixed.


Moving on:
Here's the golf place I mentioned earlier. That's the birthday girl, my niece doing... golf things...
I would very much like to have this neon hippo head in my living room.
 The great thing about letting a toddler play in an arcade is that you don't have to spend a dime. Just set them in front of something and watch 'em go. They don't  know they're not actually playing the game.



Oh yeah, it's Cedar's first Easter!

Ok, that's it.
Umm....
BYE!



Sunday, March 29, 2015

jerky bits

"There is only one difference between a madman and me.
The madman thinks he is sane.
I know I am mad."
-Salvador Dali
Today is my last day as an American citizen.
I'm going back to my home planet of of Xuberdoo in the Chocolate Chip galaxy (just a few light years away from the rock formerly known as the planet Pluto).
I'll miss it here but on Xuberdoo I was a princess and...
and...
What?
Right. Soooo anyway, we got a new flag. Our old one didn't do well with all the winter weather and stuff so we had to take it out back and shoot it.

**************************************

Saturday I went to Atlanta, TX for my Grandfather's 90th birthday party. The party was held at a small BBQ restaurant with tons of family in attendance.



My grandfather is a cowboy. We'll- not really. He just looks like it. He wears boots, pearl-snaps, bolo ties and cowboy hats. That's just his style and I love it. The theme of this party was Country Western so everyone dressed like cowboys like him.
I don't have Western stuff anymore. My boots are beyond repair and there's no snapping pearls over these massive jugs so I just put on some clothes. 
Better than going out naked and unshaven yes?

So that was my weekend.
Alight folks. Now, I'm going to go do some blog reading before my spaceship arrives.

"Reebuh krillip bloom."
That's how we say "Goodbye, I'm a lunatic." in my native language.

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