Sunday, July 26, 2015

cheddar cheese and dog training

I'm not feeling this outfit.
What kind of look is this?
 Bohemian soccer mom?
The trendy yoga instructor?
But behold. My second pair of pants in years!
 I got these pants from Ross Dress for Less a couple days ago. I love them - they're all tribal and baggy and stuff. They're long pants, supposed to look like harem pants but um... I fill them out too much. So I just hiked them up at the knee and theeere ya go.
Since I'm not a fan of separates -you know tops and bottoms kind of stuff - I didn't really have a top to go with my pants. I've um... "outgrown" a lot of my clothes (like you haven't noticed). So all I've got left are a few tank tops and this boring shirt I got from my first trip to an H&M during my first (and only) voyage to New York a couple years ago.
So why so fat lately? Well...
Our second car is down... again so I've got no transportation during the day. Every time we get one car fixed, the other one goes out. This has been going on for a year! So, I spend most of my time in front of the computer planning the faire, blogging and... not cleaning the house. To combat my sedentary lifestyle I've taken up learning Russian gypsy style dance (that's not one of my random jokes, I really am learning Russian gypsy dance). I'm trying to learn the dance so I can perform at my faire and hopefully other events. I've been dancing for a couple months, I practice almost every day and I'm losing weight but I've got a loooooong ways to go.
I don't really mind being fat - I just hate that I'm outgrowing some of my favorite dresses.
Hooray for priorities! 
 I've pretty much had to hang up my belly dancing shoes though - not that I wear shoes for belly dance. I've got this weird sciatica thing that's been kicking my butt since I was pregnant with Cedar. Belly dance is a guaranteed trigger for a pain party that can stop me in my dead tracks my like a drunk elephant.
Drunk elephant? Well, I guess I mean if I saw a drunk elephant I would stop dead in my tracks?
Or maybe I mean, a drunk elephant can't walk well, so  it would stop in its tracks?
Whatever. Later, chicks.
Time for me to go blog on my other blog while I think about starting a new blog about my other two blogs.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

freak of the weak

Is it a dress? It is a blouse? Who cares! It's long enough to cover by butt.  I don't think this is a top I would have bought for myself, but my mother was cleaning our her closet and figured I would like it.
I love the sleeves and the length, I'm just not really digging the super busy pattern. If I wasn't going to church today I would have tossed the leggings, put on some sandals and gone totally swinging sixties - shown aaaaall leg. Cellulite, jiggle and all. It's so hot here.
So what have I been up to? Hermmm....
Well I finally realized that I need to finish my gypsy queen costume for the faire. I've decided to add in other colors beside just the fiery reds and oranges. Sticking to those colors makes me look more fantasy-ish and less gypsy... ish.
So I've added color and working on adding more trim and sparkly things and authentic vintage Turkomen and Kuchi tribe stuffs. 
I added some of these Indian cowrie shell bell thingies to my yarn tassel belt and my crown in on its way from China! Squeee!! I'm getting a crown!!
I've given the outfit a test drive already and it turned out to be quite spectacular. I'm super proud of it and super excited to flounce about in it come September.

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I ordered some of this tassel trim from eBay for maybe a dollar a yard (?). I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it when I bought it - I just knew I wanted it. I decided to jazz up this ugly lamp in the corner of the living room.

  The trim is an electric melon color and is very, very eye catching. I rescued this vintage lamp shade years ago from a houseful of college guys - the poor thing was about to make its way to the trash so I snatched it up and put it on a bare lamp stand at my then boyfriend's (now husband) home. We've had this weird lamp every since. I had gotten so used to looking at it that it just because a part of the wall.
  And here are some pics from last Sunday. I managed to get out of the house to distract myself from bleeding to death and being a bit hungover for the third time in my life.

  


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And a few "just because pics". 
Cedar is 10 months now and River is 2-1/2.
Crazy times, folks. Craaaaaazy times.


▲ If you're into parenting and kid stuff, please check out my other blog. Thanks! ▲


Sunday, July 12, 2015

these are my lazy pants

I'm not feeling well today.
I ran out of melatonin and used wine as a substitute last night. Lots of wine. 
Baaaad idea.
Here's a totally irrelevant photo of me - 10 years and  100lbs ago.
Now I'm nauseated, extremely tired and to top it all off it's.... you know.... that gross lady time.
I feel like Garbage with a capital "G".
I can't even be bothered to put on a bra. I'm reheating leftovers and I have plans to sit on the couch and play Farmville for the rest of the day.

This really sucks because I was really hoping to go wind surfing today with my pals from the Puerto Rican street gang I just joined last month.
They named me Asesino del Ratón.
Which means "Mouse Killer" in Spanish.
I don't even know what wind surfing is.

So um here. Go check out my Amazon store.
I started it as a fundraiser for our gypsy trailer thing and decided to keep it up to earn some extra cash. Plus it's super fun hand picking all that sweet merch. I've had plans to open a bohemianish store for ages and then a certain renaissance faire came along and distracted me. Darn you better ideas! This is actually a pretty awesome substitute for a real store. No shipping, no restocking... just sit and click, click, click.

So yeah, here's my store - it's named after my other blog "Quirky Bohemian Mama".
Enjoy. I'm going to go throw up now.


Sunday, July 5, 2015

this is the title of the post.

I was actually in too funky a mood to write this post until I had a beer... and some absinthe. Now I'm feeling, meh. Ok. I'm ok.
I'm just a little bummed out about not having a clone and/or retractable metal claws.

As you guys probably know, I am very much a doer.
And a dreamer.
I dream. And I do.
When something stands in the way of me achieving my goals, like financial issues, lack of time or even poor planning on my part... I get blue.
Not like in the photo below. Yeah I was a little grumpy, but I'm pretty sure I was talking to my husband about something unimportant like window cleaner or cheese in a can.
So what's on my mind? I've had to cut a lot of projects loose over the past few years and I can't stop thinking about it all for some weird reason. When I cut something loose there's definitely a good reason - usually because it's too time consuming and fruitless. But something in me wants to hold on to ALL of it! All the projects! I wanna do it all!
I'm a project hoarder.

But with having kids, going through a few unemployment spells and being broke and car-less for a while resulted in the end of many projects and hobbies like belly dancing, writing, theater (yes theater) and even big game hunting... humans and dinosaurs mostly.
We're on the road to recovery but yeah, I'm being a little impatient...
and unrealistic. I can't do it all. I know that.

That's why I need a clone.


Now all I'm left with is:
A renaissance faire, 3 blogs (one for the faire), 3 Pinterest pages, 2 Twitter accounts, 6 Facebook group pages, 3 Facebook fan pages, 2 personal Facebook accounts, an empty Etsy store, 2 kids, a husband and a partridge in a pear tree.
And believe it or not... I want to tack on more projects!
GAH! My brain is buzzing with ideas aaaaaall the time.  Good ideas!
Like magnetic toilet paper holders and shock collars for humans.

Oh well. Really, what I need is get filthy stinkin' rich and build a theme park featuring all my crazy ideas. Yeah! That's what I'll do! Anyone got a few million bucks I can borrow. I'll pay you back as soon as I can!

And yes. This outfit is very unflattering. I look like a weird boxy fatty fat fat blueberry. Blame the boobs. Meh, it was a comfy outfit though.

Anywho, I sneaked into Vix's home last night and took this pic.
Looks like it doesn't it? Hee hee!!
This is our DIY lavender absinthe! We added a special herby blend to some Everclear, let it sit for 21 days, strained it and let it sit for another 10 days. 
And here it is!
A little sugar. A little water.
KABOOM!
 Bohemian Kool-Aid!
So how are you all doing?? Hmmm??
Are you working on any great projects? Have you had to let any go recently? Did you cry about it? Are you crying now? Do you like ice-cream?

Monday, June 29, 2015

teenage dirtbag

 
Sunday evening me and my little family went to a church gathering thingy. It was hot. There were mosquitoes but also plenty beer.
Beer at a church function.
Lots of it.
We're Presbyterian.
We'll, the husband is Presbyterian... and I take advantage of it.
 Here's what I wore. Are you sick of seeing the same clothes over and over yet?
Well too bad! My girdle went missing!!
Without my blubber control I can't wear half the dresses in my closet!
Who stole my girdle? Was it you?? How about YOU!?
I bet it was you.
You look shady as heck.
  I seriously keep forgetting to go buy a new girdle. Mine's been missing for about two months...
NO! I shouldn't have to BUY a new girdle! Just give me mine back!!!
Me and that girdle go WAY back like car seats.
It's seen me through the best of times - like when my fat belly started getting pushed out waaay too early when I was pregnant with Cedar...
...and the worst of times... 
Like a 100 lbs weight gain in 5 years...
 So here's some odd news.
It's actually kind of sad really but I'm not too torn up about it.
They whole gypsy trailer thing? Yeah. That got put on the back burner.
Why?
Well after we found the right trailer, I sat down and calculated how much our monthly living expenses would be with trailer payments, insurance and lot rent.
I  was expecting to see some beautifully low numbers.
NOPE.
It would actually cost us MORE money to live gypsy style than it would for us to stay put right were we are. Our current cost of living is SO low, living in a travel trailer would cost MORE!! Our goal was to live UNDER our means to save money while seeing the county... but it looks like that plan needs to change, approached differently or be dropped all together. 
So because I was sure we were about to move I had put off any kind of home renovations and customization. Well, now I'm back on it. I free handed this mehndi-inspired design on the kids playroom closet door. I know it looks rough right now, but after I add color, all the lines and stuff will be even-upped and smoothed out. So yeah. That's... that.
Aaaand look who's walking!



Sunday, June 21, 2015

you know... pirate stuff

 Okie dokie. I'm in a hurry. I want to finish this post as fast as possible so I can go eat another donut and take a nap. 
I'm SO tired I wanna cry. 
Last night me and my crew hosted our 2nd Annual Pirate's Ball (a fundraiser for my renaissance faire) and it was GREAT! We had a great turn out and over half of our attendants drove a couple hundred miles (from the Dallas/Ft. Worth area) just to come to the event. Crazy! I saw a few unfamiliar faces which is supreme good news. That means two things: people in Texarkana are starting to not be so afraid of our "outrageous" events AND I'm doing good on marketing.
I was pretty lazy with my costuming this time. It's so gross and humid due to the incessant raining and heat so I decided to skip on the skirts and bodice and even let the jiggle belly go un-girdled.
I'm wearing a tunic from Lotus Traders, a pashmina scarf to vest thingy, some stretch lounge pants, faux-suede boots, a beaded Indian belt, some cheap bohemian-esque jewelry from eBay and a fake nose ring. Effortless gypsy pirate.
So anywho, here are some random photos I took throughout the night. Time to get a scrolling-finger work out because I'm too darn sleepy to collage these pics. Soooo.... ENJOY!










 


  
Costume contest!
 Hosted and judged by Jack Sparrow!

 The costume contest winners got Jolly Roger flags.

That's all!!
If you wanna see more photos from the ball feel free to visit our album on Facebook.
Ya'll have fun!
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