Wacky Fashion Wednesday

Well, slap me down and call me Tina!

It's WACKY FASHION WEDNESDAY!

In case you're new to this craziness, WFW is where I recreate terrible fashions made entirely from items found in my home.

Today's look is:

"The Yearbook"

It didn't take much to do this. All it took was my natural uncombed/un-flat ironed hair and a clip-on ponytail. No gel, no hairspray. It's all me... and some synthetic hair...

I bet if I had ate some shrooms before taking this photo, I could have easily recreated her faaaar out expression as well.

 Sorry this post is so brief, I've been in a panic all day about the dang awful storms slamming the area so WFW was the last thing on my mind. Everything is fine around here so far, just heavy rains and high winds.

I kinda like this early-nineties pothead look. What do you think?? Am I rocking it?

See? All natural mess.

the blur

Hey folks! I've been feeling pretty craptastic for the past few days due to yucky female issues but I feel much better today! Hip hop hoorah. Even though I'm feeling better physically, my nerves are a bit frayed from the news of a horrifically massive tornado in Oklahoma that killed 91 people yesterday. The weather here has been awful and since yesterday I've been on edge worrying about my family's safety and the possibility of the same thing happening in our area. So scary.

I've got our emergency bags packed and the church that will serve as shelter is literally within walking distance so that makes me feel a little better about this frightening tornado season.

Anywho, I braved the dark clouds and wind to go run some errands today. While I was out I saw a white swirly cloud in he sky and almost pooped myself.
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Enough about tornadoes, let's look at me and all of my massive pillowy glory.

Dress: Ross Dress for Less (used to be my go-to maternity dress)

Shrug: Rainbows (a cheap retail shop for urban teen girls)

Converse: recently thrifted from Salvation Army or $8.99

Yesterday I posted on Facebook that I was looking for a Mei Tai baby carrier for our trip to New York next week. My husband's cousin messaged me and told me she'd get one for me from Amazon.com. I was like, AAAAWWWEESSSOMMEEE. It was here before I woke up this morning. I don't even know how that's possible!! 

I'm still trying to figure out how it hoist him higher in the sling so I don't smother him in my booby traps.

Here's a bit of my .99 cent eBay jewelry that recently came in. I got the unicorn from Salvation Army a couple of weeks ago. It's was friggin $3!! A total rip for a used brooch but I need it. The unicorn is the official mascot of my Ren faire and our current badges look kind of cheap - it's a weird looking knight in armor on a white horse. You have to get real close to it and squint at it to tell what it is. This brooch will go better with my gown. 

(Like most Renaissance Faires, me and my crew wear pinbacks/badges so people can tell us apart from costumed faire-goers)

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My Etsy shop has been doing very good lately. Sales are up and I'm stoked but that means more jewelry to make and I'm struggling to find the time. The only time I can go to my office to work is when River is napping, but I also need that time to clean or cook or wash my arse- so as soon as he closes his eyes for his afternoon nap, I am a blur of madness racing around the house.

.... a blur of madness... I think that will be the name of my next band.

This post is going all over the place isn't it? That's fine, we all have ADD so hopefully you haven't gotten bored yet. I want some chocolate cake.

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Here's something fun for ya! I'm buying this gown on Etsy or this year's faire. It's not the most glamourous thing ever (mmm actually it's not glamorous at all), but it's super affordable and it's my size (bosom and all!). Because of the low price I don't mind buying it to to customize. While I was stuck in bed bleeding to death yesterday, I spent hours on PicMonkey playing around with how I want to to customize the gown. I'm pretty sure it's not going to come out emerald green like that when I dye it, but I do plan to dye it and add tons of lace and pearls. I want it to be queenly and blinged out and gaudy- like, on the verge of tacky. I don't know why but that's how I want it.

Well sisters, I just got a call about another severe storm blowing in. I'm going to drink a little wine and try to calm myself down.

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"You said a storm is a-brewin'?? Oh noes!"

Etsy pimpin'

I've had this blog for almost a year now and I don't think I've ever shared with you what's in my Etsy shop. I launched my Etsy shop in 2008 (under the name Dang Special's Vintage) with the intentions of thinning out my extensive vintage dress collection. Years ago whenever I would go thrift shopping I would compulsively buy vintage gowns whether they fit or not. I lived with my parents at the time and I was running out of closet space as I was staying in the guest bedroom so I decided to let some go. Last year I began experimenting with jewelry making- I decided to sell some of my creations and relaunched the store as Modern Colors Vintage and Jewelry. So here's a wee bit of what's listed at the moment:

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Named after my mother (Linda) this simple necklace is made from a broken bracelet and necklace. That's my mom and grandmother in the photo in the background ca. early 70s.

 This is a super rare book of poems by James Russell Lowell from the 1800s. I found this rare gem in my husbands enormous antique book collection.

Another upcycled necklace made from a broken necklace, bracelet and earring.

Sketch Book by Washington Irving. (1887). Includes Rip Van Winkle and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. This is for sure one of the most valuable items in the shop. Another find from my husband's book collection

Vintage Polish milk pans (each sold separately)

I'm having to say goodbye to my favorite vintage blue slip- it's waaaay to small for me now and I never even had a chance to wear it. Sad face.

And I'll end with one of my faves. An original print of the 1961 piano music of the opening song from Breakfast at Tiffany's. Believe it or not, this is from my husband's collection.

4 strange reasons why I want to lose weight.

Before I get started, let's take a trip down Hollie's memory lane:

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Here, I was dressed as a "personal" secretary for Halloween at work. Tiny waist, cute sassy sass.

Later that day I dressed as Amy Winehouse for Halloween party. This was my first time feeling confident enough to wear skinny jeans in public.

And this is me after giving a belly dance performance for my family on Christmas...

A novice belly dancer showing off for the camera...

flaunting my moves in my parent's living room...

shaking it for all it's worth...

That was six years and 65 pounds ago.

Before those photos were taken, I had just lost 40 pounds through diet and exercise. That was the thinnest I had been since I was about 12 years old.

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I bet your're wondering...What the heck happened to you?!?

Marriage, happiness and a baby.

So now you're thinking, "Oh, ok. She wants to lose weight so she can be hot and lean again. I get it!"

Mmm... no. At 200 pounds I think I'm still pretty hot. (Oh what confidence I have!! LOL!!)

So why DO I want to lose weight??

Let's start at the bottom of the list shall we?

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#4: Clothes

My closet is a torture chamber, full of cute dresses and outfits that I haven't been able to wear in a very long time. Over time as I gained weight, I usually just give the too-small clothes away but there are some garments I just can't let go!! I want my clothes back and I am totally willing to lose weight to get back into them.

Losing weight is a heck of a lot cheaper than buying a whole new wardrobe.

#3: Boobs

I'm not going to go through the whole spill about my giant knockers again but I have realized since I wrote that post that my massive jugs are probably the result of my weight gain. So maybe if I lose a little weight, I'll be able to buy my bras from an actual retail store and not some specialty online shop that charges $50 for A STUPID PLAIN WHITE BRA!

#2: Belly

So I had a baby four months ago. I gained 40 pounds during pregnancy but most of that came off within the first two months so the baby weight isn't really the the problem...

The problem is this weird jiggly, pouchy thing I've been left with. That's got to go!! I don't really care about the stretchmarks- it runs in my family so I knew what to expect when I got pregnant and had a long to time to come to terms with that fact. What I didn't expect was how saggy and jiggly my belly was going to be after having the baby. I thought, ok, I'll just wait to see how much of this will go back on its own... well I've waited long enough. I'll never have my cute little belly back (and I'm ok with that) but I would like to not have my belly sagging over the waist of my pants and skirts.

My belly looks like a sad old man.

And last but not least:

#1: My rings are stuck!

YES! This is my NUMBER ONE reason for wanting to lose weight!!

I've been wearing the cross ring on my right hand for ten years now and my wedding set for three. I NEVER take them off and now THEY ARE STUCK. They are stuck on my fatty fat fingers!

 I've tried oils, soap and everything you can imaging to try to get them off. I just can't bear the thought of having my rings cut off!! My wedding ring was designed by my husband and hand made by one of the Elders in our church. My husband put A LOT of thought into this ring and I can't have it destroyed!

I'm not going to go into the full details about the significance behind the cross ring because I don't want to make people uncomfortable with my Christian talk- but I will say that I put the ring on ten years ago and um... waited... :ahem:... until... I was married...

It's pretty significant to me.

So there you have it! My four weird reasons for wanting to lose weight. I'm not motivated by what doctors say because according to them, I'm obese and I should never eat McDonald's delicious hot tasty french fries. Society says I shouldn't be above a size 10 because after that you're ugly (a little A&F humor there).

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I don't have a goal set for how much weight I want to lose and I don't have a time frame that I want to lose it in and I'm not going to say that I'm dieting- I hate dieting. Instead I'll say I'm going on a mission. A mission to slim my body for the sake of fashion, frugality and a non-jiggly belly.

Wacky Fashion Wednesday

Cheese and crackers!

It's WACKY FASHION WEDNESDAY!

In case you're new to this craziness, WFW is where I recreate terrible runway fashions made entirely from items found in my home.

Today's look is:

"All the way down"

Today I decided to stroll off the runway and into the homes of ordinary people with not-so ordinary taste in fashion.

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Now this is a fashion statement I've seen all too often- and one that I just don't understand. I've tried to see things from the sagger's point of view but it I don't get it!!

Maybe some people just like to feel the breeze on their bum? Airing out a diaper rash?

Coat and underwear: Husband's

Tee shirt, boxer shorts and pajama pants: all hand-me-downs

So I see your pants and I accept that challenge, sir.

I'll prove that I am the better sagger.

But wait- I smell an even greater challenge...

I am the master.

Is that the best you can do?!?!

Oh, I can do better...

Don't you walk away from me! I'm not done with you!

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Well, that was refreshing. Now I'm off to try to figure out why this look sometimes includes a belt as well...

Now, here's a little video for your viewing pleasure.

What look will I recreate next week? Stay tuned to see!

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