Sunday, November 22, 2015

cigarettes and chocolate milk

Cigarettes and chocolate milk
These are just a couple of my cravings
Everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger
A little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me

If I should buy jellybeans
Have to eat them all in just one sitting
Everything it seems I like's a little bit sweeter
A little bit fatter, a little bit harmful for me

And then there's those other things
Which for several reasons we won't mention
Everything about 'em is a little bit stranger, a little bit harder
A little bit deadly

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk by Rufus Wainwright from the album Poses

I don't smoke cigarettes any more but I do enjoy a cigarillo every now and then and I'm not fond of chocolate milk and I hate jelly beans. The song above is pretty irrelevant to me and this post but it's been stuck in my head all morning for some weird reason.

Fun fact about me and Rufus Wainwright -  I had the biggest crush on him when I was in high school and after I graduated. I'm talking obsessed, folks. I thought he was the most beautiful and most talented man ever and I couldn't wait until I turned 18 so I could run away and go find him somewhere in Canada or New York and steal his heart. 

Needless to say I was absolutely devastated when someone broke the news to me that was gay.

"No! He's not gay! He just hasn't met the right woman!" I sobbed - "He hasn't met ME!"
I think he was my first and only celebrity crush. His gayness ruined me and I vowed never to fall for another celeb- I just couldn't bear having my heart broken again.

I think it's pretty funny that while other teen girls my age were giggling over Justin Timberlake, the Hanson brothers and Leonardo Dicaprio I was pining over a gay musician. 

Ok, my crush wasn't THAT bad, but I did have a few fantasies about turning him straight and getting hitched and having beautiful musical babies -  because, you know,  that's totally how that works right?

Have you ever had a celebrity crush??

All jewelry and accessories (except necklace) 99 cent buys
Necklace - Ebay
Dress - Old Navy clearance
New (to me) red boots - handmedowns

Sunday, November 15, 2015

hard apple cider and fried chicken

(Well, anything is true if you believe hard enough... no it's not... yes it is... not.)

Yesterday we all went out to a restaurant that sells exotic burgers. On the menu were burgers made of copperhead, sparrow, politician, sea cucumber and lemur just to name a few.
I went the safe route and chose the "Tears of an Misguided Teenager" burger and boy was is delicious. Tasted an awful lot like mushroom Swiss but I've had a cold so everything taste  a little odd these days.

While at the restaurant I slipped on a puddle of urine left there by the head chef as a gesture of goodwill and friendship. I fell and landed on a five inch spike that went right through my ear lobe. It left the most  beautiful hole -  like the one in my soul - and so I adorned it with various metals from the motherland. 

During our meal my husband told me about the tours customers can take of the kitchen. Boy, did this excite me. Back in the kitchen we were shown their amazing selection of meats and treats. My son was hellbent on eating a fresh guinea pig so he reached his chubby little hand into the cage, picked out a nice fluffy one and ate him whole. Fur and all.

This morning as we got ready for our morning confession rituals and virgin sacrifice I decided to wear the same outfit  from the day before which was a terrible idea considering I haven't bathed in a week - but hey, everyone loves the smell of their own brand, right?


I went blind during this photo session but I'm ok now. My eyes grew back.

And then I killed a gypsy witch and stole her boots.

Yesterday we went to Smash Burger and then to  PetSmart to look at stuff because we were all dressed up with nowhere to go. We were supposed to go to our town's second attempt at an Oktoberfest (rescheduled to November due to storms) but we discovered they decided to charge admission at the last minute. That means we would have to pay $30 to go to in to spend money.  Admission was never mentioned on any advertising, Facebook, flyers, articles, nothing. I know because I helped promote it! As an event planner, I'm gonna tell you that that's rubbish and baaaaad business. 
Moving on
My aunt recently handed down to me a butt load of clothes and sweet boots, including these beaded metallic beauties and the studded ones above. 
And with all that being said, it was actually easier to make up a story than it was to tell the truth.
That speaks volumes doesn't it? Let that soak in, amigos. What a powerful message. 
And that message is:

See ya laters! Bye!

Sunday, November 8, 2015

that time I went to a wedding

I went to a wedding last night! I hate weddings but this is one I've been waiting for for a long time.
My good buddy of about 8 years was single for as long as I knew him but during that time I knew he had a long time crush on a girl. After ten years of crushing and blushing he finally made his move and won her heart!
The event was a small 50s themed church wedding and it was so cute. The bride even requested the guests wear 50s attire. I'm not a 50s fan but you know I couldn't pass up a chance to dress up.
The bride was breathtaking. She's a porcelain beauty who was clearly born in the wrong era.
Her gorgeous dress was a handmade Etsy find.
And below is the grooooooom.

The pic below:
Years ago we all used to be in a band called Boxtree - I played bass by the way. It was a pretty mediocre indie-style band but we had fun doing what we did and towards the end, we started getting better, cleaner and tighter. Everyone moved off for school or just going with the flows of 20-something life changes so the band was over.
 Whenever we're all together in one place we call it a Boxtree reunion and threaten to play a show.
No, we're not actually going to do that. 
We're posing for a photographer in front of us and we're missing two members in the pic here. I can't wait to see the pics he took of use giving serious looks though the alter candles. Perfect for an album cover.

The last time we all had a pic together was at my wedding reception five years ago.
It's funny seeing the difference just 5 years makes when you're young: weight gain, weight loss, eyesight gone bad, hair loss... but we're all still very awesome people.
And this is my husband eating a sparkler.

Wearing: Vintage Lane Bryant dress, cheap bolero from eBay, 60s gloves.
Side note: I gave my gloves to the bride. She said she liked them and wanted to wear gloves so I gave her mine. It was a sacrifice I was more than happy to make since we're too broke to give decent wedding presents!

  ▲ SEE YA! ▲

I've got a lot to do today so please forgive me if I don't make it around to your blog posts!!

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Poe + Lenore = Nevermore

Edgar Allan Poe Costume
 Last night me and the husband dressed up as Edgar Allan Poe and his long lost Lenore for Halloween.
At first we had no reason to dress up because our church hosts a fall festival and costume wearing is just for the kids... lame. But the day of Halloween  I was like, um - no. To heck with your sqauresville party. I wanna dress up. I NEED to dress up!
So I went in the closet, dumped out our costuming collection and BOOM... Poe and Lenore were born within minutes.

Edgar Allan Poe and Lenore Costume

▲▲ Husband's costume ▲▲
 Shirt from Civil war reenacting days, vest from 70s 3-piece, sash from a polyester 80s dress, slacks and dress shoes.

Edgar Allan Poe Costume

▲▲ My costume ▲▲
 A vintage robe sewn close in the front (worn for a Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd costume years ago), the skirt from one of my renaissance gowns, crinoline over a hoop, mom's necklace from when I was a wee tot and one of husband's belts.

Edgar Allan Poe and Lenore Costume

Edgar Allan Poe and Lenore Costume
The husband's make up is white setting powder, black eyeliner, matte brown and black eyeshadow, and matte magenta blush. The Raven (I think is really a crow) came from K-mart. We attached the bird to the husband's shoulder with strong magnets.
Edgar Allan Poe and Lenore Costume

Here are a few conversations we had at our church's fall festival with a few people. 

MAN: Hey everyone's been asking about you two. You're late. Where ya been?
ME: Getting dressed.
MAN: For what? Prom? You two sure are dressed up!
ME: (internally) It's $^$*!@# Halloween...

▲▲ Next Convo with another person ▲▲

LITTLE GIRL: You're wearing a big dress.
ME: I am.
LITTLE GIRL: Why are you wearing a big dress?
ME: It's Halloween.
ME: I'm dressed up because it's Halloween.

▲▲ Next Convo with another person ▲▲

MAN: So Caleb is Poe and you are...
ME: (proudly) Lenore!

▲▲ Next Convo with another person ▲▲

MAN: You two are really dressed up. You must be going somewhere after this.
ME: (Blurts out) Yeah, we're going somewhere where our costumes will be appreciated.

We left the fall festival after eating and went to the mall but all their festivities were over... so we went to a book store coffee shop to flaunt our freakishness together as a family.

▲ ▲ Did YOU dress up for Halloween this year? ▲▲

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Baby Jimi

It's raining. I'm sleepy. I'm lazy.
I just copied and pasted the HTML from my other blog onto here because I dooooon't  feel like retyping all this info. 
Sooooo here ya go.
I was even nice enough to remove the ads and junk for ya!

I think this is without a doubt the best costume I've ever created for my son.
He's been Russel from Up, hipster Aladdin and a hobbit but this one takes the cake - and won him a nice little prize in a costume contest last night!

The city was hosting a fall festival and I was certain I wanted wanted to take my babies. The night before the festival I realized in a panic that I had no costumes ready! I didn't even have a clue as to what they would or could be - and NOT dressing my kids up in a costume would be very unacceptable for me.  As a family we're supposed to dress up as characters from Bob's Burgers but I haven't even had a chance to start working on those costumes. I searched the kid's closet and drawers and all around the house for inspiration. I looked at my son and gave a frustrated sigh... and then I noticed his hair was very puffy and frizzy - like an afro.
Hippie came to mind and then that idea evolved into Jimi Hendrix!

Quirky Bohemian Mama - A Bohemian Mom Blog: DIY $0 no-sew Jimi Hendrix Toddler Costume {Toddler Halloween Costume} #halloween #halloweencostume #toddlercostume #jimihendrix

After about thirty minutes I had collected everything from around the house I needed to put this wonderful costume together.  I didn't buy anything to make it and I didn't sew a thing!
All it took was a little good luck, imagination and a hot glue gun.

(Sorry if my pics are little wonky. I'm using a loaner laptop and the screen is all kinds of jacked up. Editing photos is darn near impossible.)

Quirky Bohemian Mama - A Bohemian Mom Blog: DIY $0 no-sew Jimi Hendrix Toddler Costume {Toddler Halloween Costume} #halloween #halloweencostume #toddlercostume #jimihendrix

Quirky Bohemian Mama - A Bohemian Mom Blog: DIY $0 no-sew Jimi Hendrix Toddler Costume {Toddler Halloween Costume} #halloween #halloweencostume #toddlercostume #jimihendrix

Quirky Bohemian Mama - A Bohemian Mom Blog: DIY $0 no-sew Jimi Hendrix Toddler Costume {Toddler Halloween Costume} #halloween #halloweencostume #toddlercostume #jimihendrix

Quirky Bohemian Mama - A Bohemian Mom Blog: DIY $0 no-sew Jimi Hendrix Toddler Costume {Toddler Halloween Costume} #halloween #halloweencostume #toddlercostume #jimihendrix

#1 - Fluff the fro
My son's hair is coiled into very tight curls, just perfect for making a Jimi fro. First I added a little bit of smoothing shine serum to his hair to soften it. Then I separated and stretched out the curls by hand. Next I brushed it out very slowly and carefully with a paddle brush, flat ironed it on low heat to relax the hair for more fro-height and then another brushing! Phew! That was the hardest part!

#2 - The headband
I got this sash years ago from a thrift shop for like, 50 cents and I wear it often. It was the perfect addition to this groovy costume.

#3 - The stache and sideburns
Using short strokes and stippling I drew on the facial hair with my cheapest black eyeliner (cheap doesn't smudge) and then set it with dark brown matte eyeshadow.

#4 - The groovy vest
Hendrix was super flamboyant so a super colorful gold embellished vest would totally have been in his wardrobe. River just so happens to own one! This vest is from his "gypsy prince" costume he wears at renaissance faires. The full costume is an authentic Turkish outfit I scored on eBay for $5 - see pic below.

#5 - Jimi wouldn't be Jimi without a guitar...
I used some old wire ribbon I saved from a Christmas present years ago and tied it to the guitar to make a strap. Easy peasy.

#6 - The shirt
This shirt was handed down to River from his cousin. I just simply tucked it in, popped the collar over the vest and left the top the buttons undone - very 60s baby!

#7 - Far out bell bottoms
Besides his hair, the pants took the longest to make. Here's how I did it -
 1. I selected a pair of jeans that Rives has just about outgrown, that way they're nice and tight
2. I cut 5.5" slits at the bottom of the pants on both the inside and outside seams
3. I free hand cut two squares of  material from an worn out bed sheet.
4. Turned the pans inside out and glued the material to cover the gaps and trimmed away the excess material.
5. Last I painted gold stripes down the outside seams for added flare.

Quirky Bohemian Mama - A Bohemian Mom Blog: DIY $0 no-sew Jimi Hendrix Toddler Costume {Toddler Halloween Costume} #halloween #halloweencostume #toddlercostume #jimihendrix

I hope you enjoyed my post! Do you DIY your kid's costumes too??


Monday, October 19, 2015

We know what you did last night...

Hey nerds! Ya miss me?

Saturday me and the husband packed up the kiddos and skipped merrily to Texarkana's first food truck festival!! The flyers promised food, fun and fresh produce from local farmers!
There were four trucks there.
Let's me repeat that...
No one was there to even BUY food. There was a crap band on stage that blocked the entrance way, forcing folks to squeeze past their blaring speakers.
The band sounded like they were in the middle of just warming up... the whole set.

There was one bright star out there in the parking lot of big fat suck.
A new Thai-Indian food truck that recently came to town. I fear for them really.
Their food was CRAZY GOOD... but c'mon guys... this is Texarkana. I wish them the best of luck but this town just doesn't do "exotic" very well.

And by "exotic" I mean different.

At the fest, there were no tables or chairs. Nowhere to sit and eat - so we walked to a park and watched dozens of teens in their tiny "formals" and platformed heels posing for photos before a homecoming dance that night.

You guys should come to Texas and see this crap. Homecoming is serious business.

Don't know what a homecoming dance is?
Read about it HERE or just read my description below:

Well, it's like prom... but with football.
It's a celebration wrap-up of a high school's homecoming football game. Homecoming is just a celebration of the school, alumns and the team and students and stuff and all things school spirit.
A queen is crowned and all that jazz - it's a big deal.
Girls get their hair and nails done, their mom's buy them teeny tiny trashtastic dresses and the boys either rent a suit or wear their best jeans and cowboy boots (here). The dance couples spend more time having photos before than dance than they do at the actual dance (some even going so far as to hire pro photographers). The WHOLE FAMILY comes to watch the these pre-dance photo sessions and to see the little couple off as they cry and pray that their baby girl doesn't come home pregnant.


After our dinner and freakshow we went to top off our bellies at another bright star in Texarkana called Pacan Point. They have these duck fat french fries that just melt in your mouth. Since we are poor people, that's um... really all we can afford.


We all split a plate of fries, the husband and I had a beer each and then we finished the evening with some loverly grocery shopping and a little bit of arson.
The end!

In case you sexy beasts were wondering what else I've been up to - I recently launched a new website  (not blog) that took me about three months to develop, I'm still doing my other blog thing and going to medical school to become doctor.
Ok, that last part was a lie, but I am going back to school.
Alright, no I'm not going back to school but I am a genius.

I'm not a genius.
Shoo. Go away now.

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