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Tuesday, January 10, 2017

the scenic route

Hey there lords and ladies. I hope thou art good? Well... 
'Art thou well?' I guess is the right way to phrase that. I dunno. We don't speak fancy talk at the faire.

So anywho - it's back up in the 70s here and I'm pretty bummed out about it.
We got a little snow Friday but then Texas decided that's all we needed and cancelled winter again.
This has been one of the most bizarre winters I can recall. Highs often stretching up into the 70s and then plunging into the low 30s at noight. Just plain crazy.

All of these photos were taken with my phone. Sorry I'm not sorry.

So here's what I wore to church Sunday. I think I've only worn this dress twice and I've been avoiding it like the plague because it requires some serious um.... undershaping...
I'm not a fan of body shapers and I will go through great lengths to avoid wearing one, but I hate that "is that a baby bump?" raised eyebrow stare.
Heck, baby bump? I look like I'm 6 months with twins.
Jiggly, squishy, gelatinous twins.

I ordered this shaper on Amazon months ago to possibly wear under my dance costume for our Pirate's Ball last year but the boning in it was too flexible and the top rolled down under my back fat, creating all kinds of unsightly bulges bumps under my clothes. I came back to it recently and realized that I could just simply remove the boning. So snip, snip, slip and hooray! Boning begone! Why the heck would they put boning in a stretchy body shaper anyway? Isn't that the point of wearing a body shaper? So you DON'T have to wear a corset??

Look at that figure. Mmm good! 

Oh, and here's a dirt cheap bracelet I got from eBay months ago that I completely forgot I own. I think it cost maybe $2? It's super heavy and the photos just don't do it justice. It's bootyfull.

And here's my face! Not intentionally airbrushed - I think the camera was on "beautifying" mode.

So what have you crazy coocoo heads been up to lately? 

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Hollie Jolly Stuff

Wowee zowee, here I am.
I managed to stay up past 1am New Year's Eve and I probably could have stay up a little later if it wasn't for the nausea I was experiencing from eating a family-sized bag of potato chips, two huge  helpings of portobello pasta and the 8 tankards of cheap merlot I drank. I laid down and prayed for digestive peace until I fell asleep. 

So anyways, I'm trying struggling to keep my eyes open and I can't focus very well. I would very much like to go take a nap....zzzzzzzz..... ugh, here are some photo from the Holliedays. 

Sunday before Christmas as Church:

Christmas Eve Morning:
We opened our presents early since we were going to spend Christmas with the inlaws.
Cedar got a pink dump truck to match Rivers red and yellow one and I painted a silver Ford pickup truck with nail polish and sparkly stuff to go with a truck he got. When you have kids this close in age, get two of everything.

The husband's gifts to me. He did a good job!

Christmas Day:
My brother-in-laws

 The family.

The Day After Christmas:
Went to my dad's in Marshall, TX on the way back home to Texarkana.
This would be a great photo if I wasn't too lazy to edit it right now.  

So... that's it.
How were the Holliedays for you?

Saturday, December 17, 2016

It's the other way around


Some of these photos are from my upcoming Soul Flower blog post coming out next Friday.
The husband was at work and not due to come home til' dark to do my photos so I distracted my kids with some food and YouTube videos, put the camera on a side table and a stack of books (too lazy to look for the tripod) and tried my darnedest to look natural.

See? I'm naturally blurry. Like Bigfoot.

As you can probably guess, the post features these organic cotton original art leggings (not an affiliate link, just sharing) but I couldn't get a decent full body shot standing on the bed without a gun pointed right at my head.
No really, there's a hunting rifle mounted high on the wall near the ceiling and it looked like I was being held hostage by a ghost in every photo. It's been edited out of the photo... poorly... but it's gone.

And thanks to Val for informing me that this backwards peace sign isn't acceptable in the UK.
 It's a good thing I didn't submit this particular photo...
I'm like, "Peace, love and up yours, bro!"

So what have you kookies been up to lately?

Monday, December 5, 2016

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Ugggghhh.... sorry again for the lack of updates about my life. I know how important I am to all of you and I know you just can't live without me! I'm sorry to rob you of my awesome sauce.

I wasn't feeling tip-top in these photos and it shows. I was tired and craaaanky.

Anywho - yesterday, I managed to drag myself out of bed after partying all night with my family at a triple birthday party and put on the same clothes I wore the night before. Meh. I do it all the time. Nothin' a little perfume can't fix.

Featuring this crocheted flower brooch made by sweetheart Lou of Loulou Downtown and this blue bling spider necklace. I bought the pendant long ago and never got a chain for it. Then I remembered, "oh yeah, I used to make jewelry. I have chain".
 Let's rock and roll.

Here are some pics from the party.
The party was to celebrate the my mom, her husband and his daughter's mother all turning 60 in the same year.
Here's a blurry photo of me, my mom and Cedar dancing.

The birthday bunch:
 I'm sure you can guess which one is my mom if you haven't already seen photos of her before.

Ok, bye!
Blog stalking time.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

like I escaped the loony bin.

We all went to the park Sunday and I handed my husband my camera so I could fix my necklace and he took a few pics. No biggie. OK, so when I check the camera I see this crap. How did my husband not notice I seriously missed some buttons on my sweater and was walking around looking like a mental patient! On top of that, I wasn't wearing any makeup and my hair was in in pigtails that I pulled together into one rubber band so there was a little nub of hair sticking out the back of my head. 

I must have looked absolutely CRAZY! No wonder people were acting weird around me.

I've deleted the worst of the photos. They're were just too much - too to terrible to share, so look at my kids and this rare Texas autumn scenery instead.

  So anywho - sorry I've been MIA these past couple weeks.
Gotta get those Thank$giving and Chri$tmas posts done over at the other blawg, if you know what I mean. You know, the whole blogging for money because I've got bills to pay thing....
I've made some pretty killer bohemian gift guides for Christmas and all sorts of cool stuff over there. So yeah, feel free to check it out...
It won't hurt my feelings one bit if you don't!
Ok, maaaaaybe a little.
Not much.
Just enough to make me cry.

Time to go see what you crazy beasts have been up to while I've got a little time.

Monday, November 7, 2016

color code confusion

I absolutely hate for my clothes to match. I don't know why. I've been purposely mismatching my clothes since I was old enough to dress myself; but today I really needed something to go over this red-orange-melon (?) dress to cover my boobage and this jacket thing was all I could dig up.
I have other stuff it's just...
I haven't folded laundry or hung up clothes in weeks.

I've come down with a serious case of the "Eff Its" when it comes to cleaning my bedroom.
We only sleep in there! Who cares if it's clean? No one is going to see it. Eff it! I'll save my time and energy and just eff it.

And now I can't find anything.

It wasn't really my intentions to match me a Cedar's outfits. I was laying out her church clothes last night and felt she would need something to cover her arms now that it's getting cooler and the only thing she had that would look good with that dress was this red-orange-melon (?) shrug-cardi thing.


Oh yeah, so two um... interesting things happened to me yesterday. If you follow me on Facebook then you've probably already heard about the first one but here's the full convo.

In Walmart whilst browsing the tiny Mexican food section a toothless middle-aged man in asked me:

MAN: Have you ever heard of pigs brains in a can?

*Let me interrupt this story real quick to ask: Who the @#$% starts a conversation like that?

ME: Mmm... no. Do they sell them here?

MAN: I don't know. I'm looking for them. I can't find them anywhere.

ME: I don't think they'd sell that here. Pigs brains in a can? probably not.

MAN: Yeah, no one around here sells them.

ME: And what do you do with them?

MAN: You scramble them in eggs. It's an old recipe.

ME: (Begins to walk away) Yeah, you're not going to find those those here...

MAN: There's a recipe on the back of the can!

ME: (Speeding away) Alright.

Second incident. Er, accident rather.
I found a small leftover poo pebble on the living room floor from a crapsident my daughter had a couple hours earlier. I picked it up (yes with my bare hands) and the dirty diaper my husband left in the middle of the floor and headed for the trash can. I miss-stepped over the makeshift barrier that keeps Cedar out of the kitchen and fell like an old rotten tree in the woods. It happened so fast, there was no stumbling and I didn't even get to put my arms out to catch myself.

BAM! I hit my forehead on the vacuum, landed with most of my weight on my upper arm, and scraped the skin off the top of my foot which is still sore and swollen.
And to add insult to injury...

I squished the poo ball in my hand when I fell.

My husband came back indoors in time to help me get up. Poo still in hand.
He didn't believe I was injured because I was laughing at myself so hard.
I'm just grateful that I'm still young enough to be able to take a fall like that without breaking a hip.
All this blubber helped me bounced like a rubber ball.
I knew it would come in handy some day.

So, did anything interesting happen to you this weekend?

Friday, October 28, 2016

Pumpkin Patch Terror Land

Sunday we went to a pumpkin patch - which was a bunch of already-picked pumpkins out on the front lawn of a local Church. I'm not complaining - it was a super cute set up. Lots of photo ops and it was free to get in but it would be cool to visit and actual patch.

The trip was to serve three purposes:
1. To get photos in my new freebie leggings for my October blog post over at Soul Flower's blog.

2. To get heck out of the house since I missed church because Cedar was covered head to toe in RINGWORM she caught from a stray cat I let her play with. (Thank you Jaysuss for tea tree oil, Lotramin and emu oil. A winning combo that cleared that crap up in two days!)

3. To get obligatory pumpkin patch photos of the kids.

Unmentioned fourth stone: To take a family portrait. Didn't happen.

The kids were horrifically uncooperative.

The tears, the snot, the tantrums!

Me and the husband took turns between being photographer and kid wrangler. We gave up on a trying to pose them or even get them to sit down so we just chased them around with the camera and both our phones.

I was almost in tears thinking, "How do the other mom-bloggers do this?! This is HARD! Why am I doing this to myself?!"

Out of a bout 300 photos here are the best we got of our first family trip to a pumpkin patch.

Cedar was actually crying in this photo. It just looks like she was smiling so I picked it.

Wrong way, guys.
That's better.

What We Wore
Cedar Girl: Dress handmade by her granny.
Old Man River: Hand-me-down everything from his cousin.
Husband: Walmart clearance shirt and Dickies slacks from Amazon.
Me:$10 dress from Ross Dress for Less and freebie Soul Flower leggings.

With or without kids, do you do the pumpkin patch thing?

I probably wont be able to get around to your blogs like I'd hope - I'm the coordinator of my church's fall festival this weekend and I'll be out the next few days. So I'll get caught up on blog stalking as soon as I can!

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