Sunday, January 25, 2015

breaking eggs

I've been a weeeee bit depressed this week. There's been something on my mind that's really bugging me. Well, not so much on my mind, but rather on my chest.
Warning: if you don't like "TMI" now is the time to walk away.
My boobs are still growing. The last time I posted about the big boob issue, I had entered into a 38M.
I'm currently spilling out of said 38M and the last size you can get online is N.  I fear I need something bigger than that and I just can't find it anywhere.
I'm in desperate need of a breast reduction but if I get one right now, I would need to hire a live-in nanny, a maid and a cook. While my kiddos are so young and dependent, there's just no way I can have a surgery and take six weeks off from motherhood to recover.
What I need for right now is a bigger bra.
I don't mind the size really and can you believe that I'm JUST NOW starting to experience pain? My left breast is significantly bigger than the right and when unsupported (or poorly supported)  its tremendous weight pulls the skin on my chest, the tendons in my neck all the way up to my scalp. My upper back stays knotted and my clavicle feels like its cracked. Not cool.
I'm trying to lose weight, taking up exercise several days a week(no jumping jacks!) and cutting back on carbs but I fear it's not my weight that's the issue. I've only lost five pounds so far but my boobs just keep getting bigger and bigger. Pray for me,ya'll. I need a miracle.
A boobtastic miracle.
OK! Now that I've gotten that crap out of the way... let's PARTY!!
 I'm currently working on an upcoming Mardi Gras event. It's a god old fashion masquerade ball, but with a steampunk theme. I'm actually pretty tired of steampunk but we figured it'd be best to ride the recent wave of popularity before is recedes back into the sea of worn out sub-genres and trends... again.
A couple of friends of mine donated their huge collection of beads for us to use as decoration. I like the traditional Mardi Gras colors of purple, green and gold so I spent half a day untangling and picking out those pesky rebel colors. 
I found this gem in the lot.
I used a couple dozen of the necklaces to jazz up a cheap leprechaun to hat for my ball costume.
All it took was some hot glue, a few hours (two kids) and a tiny bottle of wine. I'm not done with it and I'm not going to show you the finished product until after the ball. I would rather show you all what it looks like with my costume. 
A little randomness:
And for everyone saying Cedar looks like me.... she's a clone of her father. We made her... in a laboratory.
Lookin' cool.
   Rave in the bathtub.
  This was back on River's birthday. I let him eat an entire cinnamon roll.
I'm a good mama.
 And the coup de gras!!

Sunday, January 18, 2015

...and now he's two.

Well, he's almost two. River's birthday isn't until the 20th but for the past couple weeks, he's been giving us a very thorough demonstration of what's to come for the next 12 months.
They don't call them the "terrible twos" for nothing.
What's making it so hard for us (and him) right now is that he can't talk. Is it his hearing? Nope. He can hear you unwrap a Twinkie a mile away. What's his deal? Dunno.
So, because he can't talk, but has a lot to say, this is how he communicates:
In this particular photo he was extremely upset because mama wasn't delivering those little cupcakes fast enough. 
River's party was supposed to be gothic circus themed... BUT... um, I kind of  forgot about his birthday until just a few days before and had no time to get things ready. Awful, I know. Shake your head at me, wag a finger. Shame, shame, shame on mama. 
It wasn't that I forgot his birthday - I just plain forgot what month we're in right now. 
I decided to go for an arty party. Nice and easy, cute and cheap. I put river to work with finger paints and crayons and used his art as party decor.

Soooo that's all for now. There are still strings of cheap plastic pennants and paper chains all over the place. It's the day after the party and I just plain don't feel like cleaning anything. I don't wanna clean anything ever again and you can't make me!
Ok. Bye.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

ice claw

It's cold as you-know-what here and I'm loving it! You know what else I'm loving? Taking donuts with me to eat on the road while I run errands. I'm also loving farting out crappy generic posts on my new frugal-living-mom-blog. Yeah, it's not just a mom blog anymore. It's a frugal living mom blog now. Why? Because I know a lot about being poor frugal. Anyways, I've just been making quick daily posts on there to try to catch some attention and it's kinda fun. I know it's going to take a while to build an audience so I'm just going to do what I do best: blog and boogie oogie oogie.
I've been checking out super popular mom blogs and the most successful ones all have a theme: DIYing or home schooling or parenting advice or kids fashion or "hippie" living - "hippie" usual means vegan on those blogs. Nothing more. Not groovy people at all. Just vegans.
So I decided I need focus on one thing for my blog and that's frugal living. Neat.
So, moving on I'm all layered up to go do mom stuff, you know like, grocery shopping and killing vicious predatory hawks with crossbows.
Gotta protect my youngins.
I'm layered in an assortment of hand-me-downs and clearance rack garments.
Oh! And my sew fantastic wristwarmers made by Pao of Project Minima.
Me also be rockin' a bare face, double mini buns and Kuchi tribe earrings. Why do I wear these earrings all the time? you might be asking yourself. The coins you see on the earrings are real so the earrings are very very heavy. They weigh my ear holes down for effortless and gentle stretching to help me get to the my next (and final) size.

While out running errands I swung by an outdoor flea market. It's um.... yeah.
 I didn't go to shop, I went so River could get some fresh air an run about a bit. A few minutes into our visit I totally started to regret my decision to go. I failed to realize the flea market would be full of stuff River can't touch or drag along with him or take home so.... he had a full blown screaming bloody murder making strangers stare hissy fit.
Embarrassed, I grabbed him up and raaaaaaan to the car to hurry up and get outta there. Then we got to the grocery store and all was fine once he was able to "drive" the cart about.
And then when I got home, my husband presented me with the claw of a prehistoric beast made completely from ice. He slaughtered it himself and we ate it for dinner that night.
Ice dino soup.
That'd be just water.
Ok, we're not THAT poor.

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