Move over WFW. I'm moving

Yes. Yes I am.

Sorry to disappoint but there will be no Wacky Fashion Wednesday today.

Oh, but why? Eh, we're moving. I forgot to mention it. Probably because we're only moving 100 yds away... into another trailer. Ugh. I am SO sick of trailer life. But as long as my husband is landlord and housing is free, I'm stuck here. We're moving into a three bedroom trailer with a WAY better layout and STORAGE!

Now I am pretty darn excited about that but let's face it, moving just plain sucks.

My mom's Aunt Louise (on the right ca. early 60s) has been put in the nursing home recently so all the nieces and nephews have been cleaning out the apartment she lived in for over 30 years.She was a party animal. She smoked cigarettes and weed and cooked terribly greasy soul food everyday in that tiny space. There is a gross film coating everything in that place and the smell attached to her belongings is unbelievable.

I haven't been in that apartment in about 15 years because 

#1 Aunt Louise scared the hell out of me. She was loud and mean.

#2 The smell and grime

#3 The roaches

#4 She lived in the ghetto

 These stinky, sticky but awesome goods have been passed on to me... or rather I picked them out myself out of the things my mother salvaged and thought I would like. 

Yes isn't this a beautiful vintage ice bucket?

Open it up and it smells like Satan's morning breath in there.

 Now, this dish belongs to me, I just wanted to share how bummed I am about it's current condition and how I am even more bummed that the super glue went missing the day I discovered this. I have no idea how it got broken. It just sat on the table and caught keys, loose buttons and receipts. How the hell did it break in half??

 We're taking our time moving since we don't really need to be out until the 5th so the house has been in a constant state of disarray for the past week. 

Now lemme tell you a a horrific but kinda funny story about Aunt Louise.

 Pay attention:

A long, long time ago after a long day of work Aunt Louise's husband (don't know his name I'll call him Jim) came home and lay down on her giant heirloom four post bed fully clothed (he was a mechanic). 

When she discovered him laying down on her fresh white bedspread she said:

Get off my white bedspread.

JIM: I'm tired. I just wanna to rest a minute.

LOUISE: I said, get off my white bedspread. You're dirty.

JIM: Woman, I'm tired!

LOUISE: Ok...

Aunt Louise leaves the room and returns with a pistol.

Two shots later... that bedspread wasn't white any more... if you know what I mean...

True story.
(EDIT: She didn't kill him...and she didn't go to jail either... don't ask. Don't ask.)

 My fear of Aunt Louise was very understandable don't you think?

She's been stabbed, shot, cursed like sailor and drank like a fish and I clearly remember her wearing a blue leopard print cat suit to a family reunion when she was in her 70s. She was a true badass.

***************

Here's my new gown. Since I can't sew and I'm cheap as heck I got this gown because it was the only affordable one in my size on Etsy. I'm going to bling it out hardcore and my $7 (!) hoop skirt I found online is on it's way. I really want to dye it dark green but I don't wanna take the risk of ruining it since it's all synthetic materials.

  Blinging to commence as soon as we move and get settled in. I'm super excited!
This is the gown in shop, the color in the photo below was waaay off but I like this beige way better. What do you think?