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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Move over WFW. I'm moving

Yes. Yes I am.
Sorry to disappoint but there will be no Wacky Fashion Wednesday today.
Oh, but why? Eh, we're moving. I forgot to mention it. Probably because we're only moving 100 yds away... into another trailer. Ugh. I am SO sick of trailer life. But as long as my husband is landlord and housing is free, I'm stuck here. We're moving into a three bedroom trailer with a WAY better layout and STORAGE!
Now I am pretty darn excited about that but let's face it, moving just plain sucks.
My mom's Aunt Louise (on the right ca. early 60s) has been put in the nursing home recently so all the nieces and nephews have been cleaning out the apartment she lived in for over 30 years.She was a party animal. She smoked cigarettes and weed and cooked terribly greasy soul food everyday in that tiny space. There is a gross film coating everything in that place and the smell attached to her belongings is unbelievable.
I haven't been in that apartment in about 15 years because 
#1 Aunt Louise scared the hell out of me. She was loud and mean.
#2 The smell and grime
#3 The roaches
#4 She lived in the ghetto
 These stinky, sticky but awesome goods have been passed on to me... or rather I picked them out myself out of the things my mother salvaged and thought I would like. 
Yes isn't this a beautiful vintage ice bucket?
Open it up and it smells like Satan's morning breath in there.
 Now, this dish belongs to me, I just wanted to share how bummed I am about it's current condition and how I am even more bummed that the super glue went missing the day I discovered this. I have no idea how it got broken. It just sat on the table and caught keys, loose buttons and receipts. How the hell did it break in half??
 We're taking our time moving since we don't really need to be out until the 5th so the house has been in a constant state of disarray for the past week. 
Now lemme tell you a a horrific but kinda funny story about Aunt Louise.
 Pay attention:
A long, long time ago after a long day of work Aunt Louise's husband (don't know his name I'll call him Jim) came home and lay down on her giant heirloom four post bed fully clothed (he was a mechanic). 
When she discovered him laying down on her fresh white bedspread she said:
Get off my white bedspread.
JIM: I'm tired. I just wanna to rest a minute.
LOUISE: I said, get off my white bedspread. You're dirty.
JIM: Woman, I'm tired!
LOUISE: Ok...
Aunt Louise leaves the room and returns with a pistol.
Two shots later... that bedspread wasn't white any more... if you know what I mean...
True story.
(EDIT: She didn't kill him...and she didn't go to jail either... don't ask. Don't ask.)
 My fear of Aunt Louise was very understandable don't you think?
She's been stabbed, shot, cursed like sailor and drank like a fish and I clearly remember her wearing a blue leopard print cat suit to a family reunion when she was in her 70s. She was a true badass.

***************
Here's my new gown. Since I can't sew and I'm cheap as heck I got this gown because it was the only affordable one in my size on Etsy. I'm going to bling it out hardcore and my $7 (!) hoop skirt I found online is on it's way. I really want to dye it dark green but I don't wanna take the risk of ruining it since it's all synthetic materials.
  Blinging to commence as soon as we move and get settled in. I'm super excited!
This is the gown in shop, the color in the photo below was waaay off but I like this beige way better. What do you think?

14 comments:

  1. Moving is fun to me! it's like a fresh start even though you're moving like 2 seconds away!
    umm..did she kill her husband? that lady does seem kinda scary lol there's someone like that in pretty much every family.

    -Miya

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  2. The more I read of Aunt Louise the more I liked her, are there any more photos your Mum can track down?
    That dress is gorgeous, the colour is stunning on you. Good luck with the move! x

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  3. Wow, Aunt Louise was put there! I love the recollection of the cat suit worn to the family reunion! Good luck with your move.

    And I really like your renaissance dress on you. It looks great. Nice find.

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  4. Damn, Aunt Louise sounds like a real hard ass. I once bought a bunch of stuff at an estate sale that belonged to a smoker. I put it all outside, under the deck cover for a month. It got most of the smoke smell out. Good luck

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  5. You look fab in that gown, but my eye was drawn to Aunt Louise's bling! I can't believe she was such a bad ass....she sounds scary & yet intriguing at the same time. And yep moving SUCKS big time! It's one thing I dread with a passion! Xx

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  6. You need to write a book about Aunt Louise! I'm thinking she shot towards Jim, didn't hit him, but he lost all control and made a big ol' mess on the bed and in his pants.

    Satan's morning breath - you crack me up!

    Good luck with the move. It'll all be worth it!

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  7. Oh I hate moving, it's horrible and things always seem to get lost. I hope your move goes smoothly.
    Your aunt Louise sounds such a character! I love the pistol story.
    Your new gown is really lovely. You'd probably like my wedding dress :)

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  8. good luck on your move! thats fun you get to upgrade! wahoo!

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  9. That first image cracked me up!

    Your frock looks tres adorbs on you - no kidding.

    thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com

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  10. It wasn't just your aunt...I just tossed out the exact same, 1950's ice bucket (complete with identical ice tongs) because of the smell. I'm sure my mother never used it.

    I think it had, at one time some sort of liquid in the lining to keep it cold, and over time...

    Yeah, we couldn't salvage it either. Satan's morning breath might be generous if it was anything like what we smelled.

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  11. Your Aunt sounds amazing (and I am sure you are not exaggerating about the cooking grease and the smoking and the small apartment). The bling is great and the bag is gorgeous. To get rid of the smell in the ice bucket I would use a heap of baking soda. Moving is something I have not done for 14 years so when I have to do it I will hate it. Sounds like you are gaining more space and some storage which you will find very useful. The dress is really lovely and I can't wait to see how you bling it!

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  12. Your aunt does sound like a badass indeed!
    Ahh, moving; I love it and I hate it but the fact that is a bigger place and that your husband is still the landlord makes it easy to deal with it!

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  13. I was named after my crazy Aunt Louise, well middle name anyway. I want to listen more stories about her, I love that her life made an impression on you, even if you were scared. She looks like fun to me:).

    I think your outfit looks so good on you and with all the rights bits it will be gorgeous! Sorry about the moving it is a pain, but more room rocks!
    Xxoo

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  14. Woah, your aunt sounds crazy! In a good and bad way. In fact she sounds like something from a John Waters film. You got some great heirlooms there, I'm not surprised you didn't visit though. Have fun moving, at least it's to somewhere bigger

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