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Monday, August 8, 2016

the lumberjack dance

Last month was strange and stressful and this month isn't showing any signs of improvement.
Both of my children have turned into absolute terrors.
River wets himself several times a day, either on purpose to show his frustration with me or simply just because he wants to. This has been going on for weeks now and I'm soooo very sick of it.

He spends well over 10 to 15 minutes in the bathroom just sitting on the toilet, thinking about quantum physics and singing to himself. He takes another 5 minutes to wash his hands - mesmerized by the water as if he's never seen it before.

Now I have to monitor his every potty visit. That means dropping everything that I'm doing several times a day to watch him tinkle and bark orders for how to use the bathroom properly.

Get up! Flush! Pull your pants up! No, wait - pull them back down you got to get the underwear too. Wash your hands! Get the soap... it's right in front of you! Turn on the water! Hurry up son! I've got food on the stove! C'mon!! How have you forgotten how to use the bathroom??? Move it!
Crap! My tilapia is burning!

Well, looks like we're having fish jerky soup for dinner again kids. 

Cedar has become EXTREMELY disobedient over the past few weeks. I have never seen such a strong-willed child in my life. According to Caleb's mom, she takes after him. Out of his 5 brothers and sisters, my husband was the problem child. No spanking, grounding, time-out or any alternative punishment could stop him from disobeying. He did whatever he wanted and punishment was worth it to him. Our 23 month old warrior princess is turning out to be the same way.

 I know a lot of you can't relate to what I'm talking about with the mommy frustrations and all but if you've ever cared for two puppies at the same time... then you get it.
It's kind of like that only... crate training is rather frowned upon for human children.

In other news. Here's what I wore to church.
The dress is a hand-me-down
A scarf-to-vest thingy
Hand-me-down boots 
Cheap jewelry

I think I might go join one of those link-up party things you guys always do on Monday.
Am I old enough? Is there an age limit for those?
I think I only follow three bloggers who aren't old enough to be my mom. I should be an honorary 40+ blogger club member.
Maybe I'll start my own group called the "40+ Bloggers Little Sisters Guild"?
Sounds cute!


  1. Shame about the crate training being frowned upon. That was the secret weapon for my pug. LOL

    Anyone that raises kids has my empathy. It's a tough job!

    I don't think anyone cares what age you are to join any link up parties.


  2. My daughter was a stubborn little stinker, too. The only thing that worked (for daycare, not much for me) was a sticker chart for good behavior - as in, if she didn't use bad words, she got a sticker. The little turd swore like a sailor at two years old. I should get a sticker or something for putting up with her for fifteen years.
    Hugs of empathy, my dear. Being a mom doesn't pay nearly enough. Eventually the tables will turn and you can drive them bananas.

  3. Oh man! Hollie...we should totally trade stories! I've always wondered whether those moms who say everything is honky dorry and never yell at their kids coz "it's just wrong" are pathological liars or just out of it! I've actually lost my voice some days just from shouting at the little buggers to stop fighting/behave like humans and not animals/etc...sigh....the joys of motherhood, eh?

  4. Crate training for kids - could this be your path to millions? Or 'How to jerky every food in your kitchen" book? Heh. Sorry you've been having a tough go of it. Being a mum is probably one of the hardest jobs on the planet. Hang in there!! They'll grow out of it. That's what THEY say. You still manage to look fabulous. No age restrictions, nope.

  5. How well I know of this kid rearing conundrum. You SHOULD be linking up Vis Monday - both Melanie (commenter above) and I have showed up there giving Patti a run for her money.

  6. why I didn't have kids. I couldn't deal. Hang in there Warrior Princess.

  7. Oh my goodness, your tiny balls of naughtiness. I'm sorry they're not being little angels for you, but couldn't help but laugh at your description of the situation! I sure like your dress. Looks nice and cool.

  8. ..and that's why I've chosen to remain childless - I don't know how you do it and manage to retain your fabulous way of dressing and your sense of humour. I couldn't. xxx

  9. Kiddies = hard work. Bunnies are also hard work, especially when they both decide to play up at the same time; they'll both be up to bunny shenanigans but in vastly different places, like different rooms. Bob is on the furniture and trying to steal people food and Belle has got into the bedroom and is beggaring around with lamp cords ... at least kiddies don't go for electrical wires, right?

  10. I'm with Vix above there. I have enough trouble keeping it together without kids! But you do it with grace and still get a lot done. It's clearly made you stronger!


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