big beards, big tears

Ah, so it happened again.

Hollie is too advanced for this shit kicker town of rodeos and livestock auctions.

I dared to cross the line again- I hosted a beard and moustache competition. Shame on me for being so... daring...

The event was a flop.

It was fun... but it was a big old soggy FLOP.

We promoted the hell out of this event, we were in the papers, websites, flyers all around town...

Our Facebook event page said 50 people were coming with 30 "maybes" and over 500 people were invited.

The results?

About 8 people came to watch the competition...

10 people entered the competition, 4 out of those 10 didn't even know about the competition until they came to the bar for their Saturday night drink.

I'm actually getting teary right now writing this post.

I'm so tired of living in a town where everyone complains about how there's nothing to do but no one will do anything about it. I try so hard to bring new and interesting things to this town. I really do, but everyone's just too damn afraid to get their feet a little wet.

In a city of 143,000 I stand alone.

Well, not completely alone. I have my crew (seen below, minus one person).

I've brought this town steampunk balls,  its first zombie walk, and it's first and only friggin Renaissance faire for crying out loud... what's so bizarre about a beard and moustache competition? They're everywhere!

Oh yeah, to make matters worse, the sound guy I hired spilled his beer on my laptop last night and tried to cover this up by cleaning it and not mentioning it me. The laptop was in his possession the whole time so I'm sure he did it. Needless to say, my keyboard doesn't work. I sent him a message requesting he pay for repairs but I haven't heard back from him yet.

I'm not a very happy person right now.

Er, I'm just gonna leave you with these photos. I don't have anything else to say.

the weird feared beard appeared

My beard and moustache fundraiser approacheth!

It's going to be this Saturday at a small bar in town and boy howdy am I sexcited excited.

For starters I'm just plumb silly excited about bringing such a fun event to our sleepy little town and secondly I'm excited about raising some dough for my Renaissance faire. More money = A better faire. Third, I love event planning. It fun, it's easy and I think I'm rather good at it.

The winners of our six categories are going to get a prize package that includes goodies donated from some dang fine Etsy sellers. Sorry about the state of my room, we're still unpacking here.

Included in the packages are:

These magnets from NiceButton

Beard and Moustache Wax from RavenDarkstar

Gin and tonic scented moustache wax from MansFaceStuff

Forest Path Tea from UrbanEarthTeas

Spice Samplers from SouperSpices 

TONS of stickers from TeamBeard

Topped off with these gift tags from WKburden

and these mustachioed rubber duckies provided by me from Oriental Trading

and a coupon for free admission to the faire.

The flyers are all over town and we're ready to go!

The faire is in October and I'm sure we could stand to have another fundraiser after this. You can't have too much money when planning a Renaissance Faire!

Any ideas?

the super sale

It's crunch time for Faire work and I'm super super busy right now so I'm going to have to temporarily close my Etsy shop... sooooo....

I'm having a 50% off sale! Sale ends 8/21/13. Just use code "CRAZYSALE" upon checkout! 

International shipping available on most items. Have fun!

a rockin' benefit

Sunday evening me and the husband took a break from the move and went out to Shooters Sports Bar for a fundraising event for two of his tenants here at the mobile home park.

 To help out with the event, I designed the flyer and donated one of my spider necklaces along with three pairs of handmade earrings for the silent auction.

 My husband donated this MASSIVE hunting knife. It was auctioned off for only a quarter of its value but some money going towards the event is better than no money right?

This is the sweet lady that put this event together for the two ladies in need. She worked her butt off and promoted the event to the fullest extent but the turnout was very small. She didn't seem upset about it but I was very disappointed in the low attendance.

 There was live music from three local bands. They played your typical Southern rock kinda stuff...that I hate... but at least they played it well.

 The husband is wearing an H&M clearance rack tee we got in NY and I'm sporting a clearance rack dress recently purchased at Target for $6.

 There was also a dunking booth. That's my husband in the top right photo giving it a whirl. I've never done a dunking booth before so I decided to give it a shot. 

I dunked a guy on my first throw!!

I participated in my first live auction and lost a $65 gift card from a local piercing parlor. I really had my heart set on getting my lip pierced. But that's ok. I scored big in the silent auction.

 I won an unopened Family Guy edition of the board game Life, a four-piece polka dotted wall art set, a wall clock, another unopened board game called Imagineiff and this hand painted picture.

  So how was your weekend?

it's hot and I'm gross

It's averaging 99F/37C here in East Texas and I am one sweaty beast I tell ya.

Getting "dressed up" in this heat has become a chore. I'm an autumn layering kinda gal so I don't really have summery clothes. That's why you haven't seen any fashion posts from me lately.

Now the before ard after photo above isn't to show a dramatic makeover of any sort. As you can see the outfit is simple and a little on the boring side for my taste... but it's hot! I don't wanna wear anything at all! I'm just wanting to share with you what I look like on regular basis vs what I look like when I attempt to dress up in this blasted heat.

I give you "the normal sweaty work-from-home mom"

1. hair styled first thing in the morning using whatever hair band or bobby pin is found laying on the floor close to the bed.

2. No makeup, but eye makeup still partially in tact from the previous day because I was too lazy to wash it off.

3. (Late) brother-in-law's tee shirt complete with new grease stains from cooking. As you can see the grease stains start from shoulder to hem. I have no idea how that happens. It happens to all of my shirts.

4. Little boys basket ball shorts found by my husband, also with grease stains.

5. Prickly legs. I haven't left the house since Sunday, so why shave?

6. Dollar store flip-flops and toenails that have been painted with several layers of different colored polish because I'm too lazy to use polish remover.

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And now I present, "The Faker"

1. Same hairstyle, only smoothed and sprayed

2. Make up applied in front of the AC with no mirror because it's too dang hot in the bathroom.

3. Arm pits shaved for the first time in a couple of weeks. Hey, if no one's going to see them, I ain't shavin'. 

I told you I was gross.

4. The lightest dress I own recently purchased from Target, worn three times so far and has never been washed because something in either the washer or dryer is putting black marks on our clothes. Can't figure out what it is.

5. Legs hastily shaved with husbands electric razor.

6. Cheap sandals that don't match because I hate for my shoes to match my outfit for some weird reason. Also, a new layer or polish on the toes.

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So how hot does it get where you are?

How do you dress when it starts getting too dang hot?

Today's temp.

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Update:

Here's the temperature right now. I never wanna leave the house again.

delicious creme filled pain

 These photos were taken at the clinic I visit once a year to get my prescription meds renewed. It's usually a long boring wait so I needed something to help me pass the time. 

 I've been taking a mild anti-depressant for about 7 years now and I can't live without it.

You wanna know what I was like before I started taking the meds?

Have you ever bathed a cat? 

Close enough.

 Completely unrelated to this particular doctor's visits, I had to go the emergency room Friday night.

As I was cooking dinner I was struck with hard, sharp menstrual like cramps that brought me to my knees, churned my stomach and took my breath away.

 The pain started from the bottom of my ribs, below and all the way under to my tailbone. I couldn't sit. I couldn't lay down all I could do is walk doubled over and then I eventually just fell to the floor.

Now I've had some seriously painful menstrual cramps before but never anything like this. In fact I would go so far as to say my labor pains weren't even this bad.

I'm not one to rush to the ER every time something feels a little wrong but I was terrified.

I was sure a cyst had ruptured and I thought I was going to die.

The ER visit just turned out to be a very expensive pregnancy test and quick pelvic exam (which was excruciating). The doctor was rude, dry and sarcastic and was in too big a hurry to even tell me what he thought the issue was. 

 The cramps went away but I'm still pretty concerned about that little episode - pain like that doesn't happen for no reason.

Diet update: The Paleo-esque diet it working. I've lost 10 lbs so far! YAY! This week has NOT been a good diet week though. Why? Well if you're an American then you can look at the photo below and know exactly what the problem is here.

For those of you who were unaware, the Hostess CupCake Co. went bankrupt last year, thus putting a tragic end to America's favorite snack cake: the Twinkie. Well, we fat ass Americans just couldn't handle this and somehow Hostess was able to bring the Twinkie back. I'm not sure what kind of strings they pulled to make this happen, but it happened and that's all that matters to me.

It has been a sweet reunion for me seeing as how I never even got to have a farewell Twinkie before they left the shelves. Actually, this was the first time I've had a Twinkie in about five years.