2013 Texarkana Renaissance Faire

Hot, steamy, mosquitoes the size of chickens, RAIN, low traffic, weird vendor placements and a fly infestation.

That was the faire. The end.

Well, that was how I saw it because that's what stood out the most...

Oh and one more thing. It's kind of good news. No, I kid. It's HUGE NEWS.

THE CITY OF TEXARKANA WANTS TO SPONSOR THE FAIRE NEXT YEAR!!!

You know what that means? No more begging for money and free entertainment, no more sleepless nights wondering how I'm going to pay for something so simple as bottled water for the entertainers. We'll be in a new and BETTER location! Now we will be recognized as an official tourist attraction and have the same treatment, attendance, promotions and advertisements as any major festival in the area!

And now for your viewing pleasure, here are a few photos of the faire. There are so many photos I want to share with you so I compiled a few into multiple collages so your computer doesn't explode trying load this post.

Enjoy! More to come soon!

My favorite costumes of the faire. A "Knight Princess" and "Viking Fairy"! Completely original costumes these girls put together themselves.

...and it rained Saturday... A LOT.

River and daddy!!

And lastly- an impromptu chicken balance belly dance!

I'll try not to flood your blog feed with posts about the faire this week but I would like to share a few more pics with you all. Stay tuned! 

and the marching band was there too

Wow. I think this is the longest I've ever gone in between posts. What has it been? Seven, eight days?

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Unlike most of you lucky duckies, I don't get to go to festivals, concerts and museums. Going out to eat is a once-a-month occurrence, thrift shopping is an often painful and frustrating ordeal, I don't have any outgoing friends so I have no parties to go to and no parties to throw and I'm not a fan of dressing up in my best silks and lipstick just to sit around the house changing diapers and watching the Munsters on Netflix.

So, in summation:  I don't always have something worth blogging about.

But I do today.

My hat. It is. Fabulous.

 In junior high and high school I was a hardcore marching band nerd. I played the euphonium (or baritone, AKA little tuba). I loved playing the music, I loved marching, I loved the uniforms, even the way they smelled... before, during and after a show.

I was obsessed with band and I was one of the top band students in the school. 

I wanted to continue band in college but my fist year of college was at a small school with no band or music program. I moved to a bigger city to go to a better college and join the band... but I lost sight of why I was even going to college in the first place and never went back.

(I don't regret it.)

When I found this helmet in the toy bin at Salvation Army Friday, I immediately knew that this hat was no toy. This was no dress up thing. This is the real deal.

I knew I had save this poor fellow from the sticky hands of some drooling toddler with a plastic glitter-filled twirling baton. I had to rescue it and give it a home and for $2.99 that wasn't a very hard decision to make.

What was your passion in school?

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16-year-old me at a marching competition. 

Double bonus:

I was also on the drill team and about six other clubs and activities. Boy was I zealous.

winner winner chicken dinner

Today, we rushed out of the house to the Orr Honda car dealership to go enter our names into a drawing for a free Alaskan cruise for two by the 1:30 SHARP deadline. The contest was hosted by the local radio group.

A few months ago, while I was checking out at a children's consignment shop, I decided to pass the time by filling out a free cruise form. I was just fiddling around because the counter help was ridiculously slow and I felt a little awkward watching her bag tiny overalls at a snails pace. 

Months later, a friend messaged me on Facebook saying she heard my name on the radio, "something about an Alaskan Cruise?"

I immediately contacted the station thinking I won, but they told me I was qualified to enter the drawing and that I must come pick up a letter. I did a bit of research on this contest and couldn't find a thing about it. Nothing listed on the Radio websites, news stations... nothing, so I just blew it off as some dumb scam. A couple of days ago I got a call informing me that I still need to come pick up my qualification letter to enter the drawing. The person on the phone informed me that this was a local contest, not national, so there would be no more steps to take other than go to Honda dealership, enter my name and wait for the drawing. So I decided to give it go. I've never entered a drawing before...well at least not for something that grand.

We didn't win.

The end.

But I did wear my new awesome $2 ring to the shindig. That's cool right?

Honestly, I was more curious to see if this contest was legit. (EDIT: It was legit. Not a scam.We just didn't win)  For a free Alaskan cruise I was totally willing to risk being scammed into test driving five minivans before qualifying for another round. I've never been on a cruise and the farthest away from home I've ever been was New York... and even that was for a wedding. The last vacation me and the hubs took alone was our honeymoon. We didn't get to go far because we had to hand over our honeymoon money to the photographer- er, because we kinda forgot to set aside money to pay him. So we had to cancel our New Orleans plans and settled for Dallas.

After not winning the cruise, we decided to take a loser's lunch at a new fast food restaurant in town called Slim Chickens. The name and logo make it look like something really hep and happenin'...

Slim Chickens? Slim Pickin's more like.

Everything was slim. The menu... the portion sizes... the decor... forced to watch college football turned up full volume on all six flat screens around the joint. Pathetic.

Look at this tiny-ass fried pie. C'mon folks! We're in Texas!!! Everything is supposed to be bigger in Texas. We paid $2.50 for this thing. At one of the local BBQ shacks here, $2.50 gets you a fresh handmade fried pie the size of your forearm! Why can't I win today??? Grrr!!
Have you ever won a big prize in a contest? A vacation? Shopping spree? A love slave?

Well I'm off to go have myself a India Pale Ale, stuff more envelopes with faire flyers and get caught up on my blog reading. Peace out mutha suckas.

jam packed, not jelly... it's jam.

Saturday was the most action packed day I've had in a while. It was one of those days that gets started so early and ends so late that when you look back in it, it seems like three days rolled into one.

We got up early to set up a booth for the Four States Fair Parade - the parade that kicks off the opening of Texarkana's annual fair and rodeo. We took this opportunity to promote the faire. The vendors were placed in a terrible location in a parking lot behind a building so traffic was super low. We mostly just handed out flyers to the other vendors and chased what little people came through there to tell them about the faire.

We weren't sure about how hot it was going to be so we went with tees instead of full garb. I hate wearing tees. My boobs are not tee friendly. They get smashed down to my waist and there's nothing I can do to lift them up. And getting a bigger size just makes me look mannish and frumptastic.

As you can see in the bottom left photo of this collage, my husband got his first haircut in over three years. He was growing it out to donate for Locks of Love but working outdoors for hours a day sun-bleached the heck out of it and it became brittle and dry and looked like a mangy horse tail.

A traditional Texas parade kickoff: pretty rodeo queens on horses at the front of the line.

You see Arkansas flags and signs but I said we live in Texas. What's up with that?

We live in Texarkana which spans across Texas and Arkansas.

We live on the Texas side. (Which kinda sucks because the booze is on the Arkansas side).

After the parade I decided to unwind by stopping at the Salvation Army before grocery shopping. The items in that place are disgustingly overpriced. I almost left when I first walked in and saw a horse figurine at the front for TEN DOLLARS. Say whhaaaaaatt??? I found the records for .99 each, the novelty Irish suspenders for the husband for $2 and the Chuck Taylors for $9.

That's as good as it gets around here folks.

Later that evening we all went for a rare family outing. Mexican was the choice, my friends. Have you ever had crawfish enchiladas? No? That sucks. They're awesome.

When we got to the restaurant we were greeted with... the stares. I mean, like, from eeeeveryone. People turning around in their seats to get a look, the works. The kind of stares that'll make you wanna yell, "Take a picture, it'll last longer!" I'm not sure what was going on but I here's a list of ideas:

1. We brought a baby into restaurant that people treat like a bar because they have nothing better to do.

2. White man. Black woman. Mixed baby. A Southern rarity. Harmless gawking.

3. Hot black chick in pretty blue dress, something to admire? I'll allow it.

4. Hot chick, adorable baby and stylish dude? Stare worthy.

4. A black chick walking into a restaurant that black people RARELY visit... 

Welcome to Texarkana!

Moving on... later we went to a Books-A-Million because it's the only family friendly place open at 9:30pm, plus I heard that Tom Waits was on the cover of Juxtapoz this month so I HAD to have it.

So there was my action packed Saturday. How was your weekend??

do you know the muffin man?

I have been busy. Like, stupid busy.

The faire is in three weeks and I've been spending up to ten hours a day tying up those annoying little loose ends: stage schedule, making decor, placing cast members and volunteers, arranging vendors, collecting donations, answering emails, radio interviews.... little things that don't take much time to do, but boy there's a lot of it to do. Tiny little tasks listed by the dozens on my daily to-do list that I have to chip away at until it's all gone.

 One of the items on my to-do list was to glam up this simple muffin hat I found on Ebay that matches my new gown perfectly. I used a couple of ostrich down feathers and a brooch that once belonged to my late grandmother. She was a serious DIYer so I know she would be tickled pink to see her brooch given new life. 

 Also on the to-do list was to buy River an outfit for the faire. This is the ONLY outfit I could find in his size on the entire world wide web. I've started looking for his outfit long before he was even born! So I knew it was meant to be when I finally came across this amazing complete outfit on Etsy for around $70. It's a 3T so it will need to be taken in a little, but that means he'll get to wear it next year and possibly the year after!!

The quality of this outfit is mind blowing!!! It sturdy, lined in black satin and the green brocade shimmers!!

 My new office is serving as storage for faire decor and supplies. This is just a view of the office from one angle. The whole room is a Renaissance wreck.

 This year we finally have enough money for games and activities.  We have Dunk the Monk dunking booth. Yes, the guys participating will be dressed as monks. The prize? A monk bear!!

How cute is this???

And the Bard's Whim is a live music version of musical chairs for all ages.

 In case you can't tell I free-handed the top two signs... horribly... so I decided to try a cleaner method for our King's Chalice game sign.

 I trace the letters with a permanent marker until it bleeds through onto the sign. Then I trace the bleed-though and then fill it in. I forgot to photograph it, but the signs have been distressed with wood stain, so they look less like painted garage sale signs.

Tomorrow we'll have a booth set up at the Four States Parade for handing out flyers and begging for more volunteers to help with the faire. It's gonna be hot and I'm going to be miserable... but I'm sure there will be funnel cakes and corn dogs being sold somewhere and THAT'S what's going to make it worth while... oh, and you know- the whole promoting the faire thing...

designed by me using Pic Monkey and Adobe Image Ready.

Wacky Fashion Wednesday

Well mow my grass and call me Dookie! It's Wacky Fashion Wednesday!!

Boy howdy it's been quite a while since my last WFW. I've been crazy busy... and then I get lazy because I've been so busy and then I get busy because I've been so lazy and then...

So anywho, today's look is:

"The Lip Job"

My turn!

and voila!

Bonus!

I'd like to thank my plastic surgeon Dr. PicMonkey for making me look so dang sexy.

Get the look with PicMonkey, a brief tutorial:

#1 PUCKER!

#2 Click on the "Touch Up Button", the lipstick one.

#3 Scroll Down to Nip Tuck and select the needle button "Injector Tool" for a quick boost, or the droplet button "Melt Tool" to manipulate lips manually.

 

HAVE FUN!!!!

Not Photoshopped