that time I bought some stuff and punched a priest in the face

Ok, well I didn't punch a priest but I did do a little shopping the other day. You know - alone, free to go wherever I want, do whatever I want and punch whomever I like.

I really want to punch someone.

Not out of anger, I just wanna know what it's like.

Well, I punched my sister many years ago for playing a prank on me. She was mean, I was sensitive and my young fragile mind couldn't take a joke.  I was aiming for her face and gave her a bop right in the boobies but sibling strikes don't count. 

So, I went to an indoor flea market I used to sell at and got some stuff. Since I used to have a booth there, I know what kind of goodies that place has. It's a dangerous place to shop if you're broke. The kind of place you go to and the wind up sitting in your car weeping because you couldn't stop yourself from spending your last $50 on an upright piano and sixteen vintage romance novels.

Got my husband this $1 tie.

Got this vintage German style serving tray for $8. That's more than I usually pay for home decor but shucks, I really wanted it. I looked it up online and it's going for $6-$40 so I got a pretty decent deal - or at least that's what I'll keep telling myself.

 In case you haven't noticed by now, I love global home decor - authentic and reproductions.  I love it all. Whenever I go to a flea market or chain thrift store I always look for stuff from around the world. Folks receive souvenirs from friends and family's vacations and they're like: 

"Oh, nice - a whatchadoodle from Asia. This will look great in my kitchen right next to the tiny sombrero and tiny bottle of rancid tequila you got me fifteen years ago from Mexico." 

...and then it ends up in my hands for next to nothing. Keep chunking your gifts away! I'll gladly take them!

I checked in on Romancing the Stone's closing sale and got these feather things BOGO-free. I think I remember seeing them online as Christmas tree ornaments along with the God's-eyes I got a couple weeks ago. So I added them to my little DIY wall hanging thing - whatever this is going on here. I don't like how it's turned out but I'm just too darn lazy to plug in my glue gun and do it right.

Too lazy to plug in a glue gun? Now, that's DANG lazy.

These sunglasses were BOGO-free too!! Two pair for $5.

So, that's all I've got to share for now.

Who would YOU like to punch in the face?

I would love to punch the fictional character April from the show Parks and Recreation.

I hate that character so much that I stopped watching the show.

VD for me! VD for you! VD for everyone!

The husband took me to Shreveport, LA for a Valentines evening date. At first he had something ridiculously elaborate planned - something to do with a hotel and wasting money on romantic whatnots but I begged him to change the plan after I discovered he failed to find an overnight babysitter. Who wants to keep a 1 and 3 year old overnight at the last minute Valentines weekend? Um, no one.

He took me to a restaurant we pass all the time but have never been to. It's a fantastic Cajun place called the Blind Tiger. The inside wasn't as hep as the name suggested but the food made up for all that. 

I forgot my camera so enjoy these terrible Instagram photos from our evening.

The fried shrimp and remoulade was so good I almost cried.

After dinner we went to a casino.

I had no intentions of doing any serious gambling - I've just never been inside a casino before and I was wildly curious about what happens in these dens of shame and addiction.

We walked around and watched the people smoking their cigarettes, drinking their domestics, eyes glued to the screen of the flashing slot machines.

All of the machines beeped and sang out in the same note so there was a steady pleasant hum of electronic victories all around.

The air smelled heavily of hand soap.

It was actually rather enjoyable.

I couldn't remember if it was on my bucket list to simply go to a casino or gamble at a casino, so I put a dollar in a machine and pressed a button to make sure I was getting the full experience.

I won nothing but a strangely arousing experience.

We got back into town before our coach turned back into a pumpkin, picked up the kids from their aunt's and took a couple pics. Here's what I wore:

Dress - Ross Dress for Less, $10

Necklace - eBay

Boots - Handmedowns

Other jewelry and accessories - cheap retail and internet findings

Legs - Haven't shaved in months

Bosom - getting bigger?

 And here's what Cedar wore to church on Valentines morning. Yes it's a Minnie Mouse dress. Not Minnie Mouse-ish. It is a Minnie Mouse dress minus the ears. HEE HEE!! I found it on clearance at Kmart for $5 and I couldn't pass up a dress that can serve double duty as both a Valentines Day AND Halloween outfit.

So how was your Valentines Day?

How's your colon feeling?

Do you wanna make out?

Mardi Blah

It's wacky. It's festive. It's steeped in tradition.

It's MARDI GRAS 

(er, Mardi Gras Saturday really - Mardi Gras is Tuesday)

This is Texarkana's third Mardi Gras parade and the area was packed. I like to see that! The parade, which is supposed to be the highlight of the day was kind of lame - but hey, we got to eat some awesome gumbo, fried pork... stuff... and we got to have a nice family outing.

We've all be sick for about a month. We're just spreading the same germs around and it's driving me nuts. I've been running a mild fever for a couple days, I'm coughing up bits of lung but I was more than ready to get out the darn house. Can't keep me from Mardi Gras!

GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! GUMBO! 

What's gumbo you ask? It's a cajun stew I guess you could call it? It's crawfish in some kind of brown stuff, served over rice. You can add anything to your gumbo - traditionally shrimp, andouille, alligator (chicken if you've no gator) and crab.

I think I'm in the wrong line of business. I wanna blow bubbles for a living!

Does this outfit look familiar?

Since I decided to pass on participating in the parade I loaned out my costuming to a good friend who was walking with the rest of the faire folk. Isn't she adorable??

 Isn't this lamé gown awesome? She made it herself. Ruff, hat and all.She's one of my gypsies at the faire and a very, very loyal faire supporter.

 The dress below is also handmade. The lady below is a professional seamstress and sells costumes at the faire. She makes all her own stuff and wedding gowns and all sorts of awesomeness. 

 I got to catch up with the rest of the crew. Isn't it weird seeing me with the guys wearing street clothes?

Why did I pass on the parade? Well me and my husband were going to sign up for a ballroom dancing workshop (true) but we realized at the last minute it was scheduled for the same day as the parade. We REALLY wanted to do the dance class but I got pretty irritated that a city organization would schedule something like that DURING a major event also hosted by the city. So it was kind of my way of boycotting the workshop I guess.

This town isn't big enough for event competition. We all need to work together and when I see stuff like that, I see red. 

I didn't walk with the faire group because well, I'm sick and also I wanted to actually SEE a parade, not be in it. This was the second parade of got to watch and not participate in since I was a little girl. I've been in parades all my life! 

Cray!

Oh, and here's my face... and a Mardi Gras headband I bought for Cedar but thought it would look better on me.

Did you do anything for Mardi Gras this Saturday? Got any plans for Tuesday?

chocolate balloons

Last night I went on one of my mommy dates. Or mom's night out I guess you'll call it. Since we've been down to one car for almost a friggin year now I only get to leave the house to go grocery  shopping on Saturday (but I have to get the car back at a certain time so husband can run his errands too) and go to church on Sunday. I'm fine with being a homebody  but sometimes I don't get to go grocery shopping or sometimes I just plain don't wanna go to church.

You know what that means?

I won't leave the house until the next weekend.

And how sad is that? Groceries and church is going out for me. SAD ON A CRACKER!

We're getting the husband his own vehicle as soon as the tax return comes in. Yay! 

Like I mentioned before I don't mind hanging out at home, but I'd love to have the option to go when I wanna go. So because I can't do that - sometimes I'll snap as soon as husband gets home, rush to the bedroom to put on some clothes and make up, tell him to feed himself and have the kids in bed by 8pm.

BYE SUCKAH! I'M GOING TO GO NOT DO MOM THINGS!

There's nowhere for me to go though (it's Texarkana, folks) and I don't really have any friends to hang out with and I'm not one who likes to go get felt up in the dark at a honky tonk so I'll just go to the local chain book store and have some coffee or go to a store and look at all the crap I can't buy. I'll get myself a milkshake on the way home, take the scenic route and sing some angsty Incubus song at the top of my lungs.

"PARDON ME WHILE I BURRRST INTOOOO FLAAAAMES"

Someone needs to create mom-angst rock music. Meh, I bet it already exists. If not, maybe I'll just do it myself.

 

So yeah, I'm wearing a skirt pulled up above the bosoms to make a dress. Cedar's war paint is courtesy of her big brother who decided to tattoo the both of them without my permission.

Marker tattoos are allowed in my home - just as long as the markers are washable. 

Does that make me weird that I let my kids draw on themselves and me as well?

 River calls marker tattoos "hoo hoos" He loves getting and giving "hoo hoos".

Maybe one day he'll grow up to be a famous and fabulous hoo hoo artist?

I discovered a store with dollar jewelry and accessories in the mall. The flowers and jewelry were all a dollar. The woven rings were buy-one-get-one from Romancing the Stone (Earthbound Trading Company) clearance for $3 total.

The God's eye were from Romancing the stone as well for $3 total. Loverly. The store is closing and everything is getting marked down dirt cheap. I'm about to go wipe them out as soon as I can!

Do you like hanging out alone?

Does adulting/parenting make you feel a little angsty too?

Wedding. Tennessee. Photos. Stuff.

I'm in a wee bit of a hurry so I can't give you much of a detailed post but I can give you a buttload of photos to look at from the weekend.

Did you know that a buttload is an actual unit of measurement?

Buttload: “A ‘butt‘ is a traditional unit of volume used for wines and other alcoholic beverages. A butt is generally defined to be two hogsheads, but the size of hogsheads varies according to the contents. In the United States a hogshead is typically 63 gallons and a butt is 126 gallons.”

Anywho - me and the family took little road trip (277 miles) to the Memphis, Tennessee area for my sister-in-law's wedding.

Sister-in-laws wedding? You ask.

I'll explain in the post.

Government approved traffic sign in TN.

Settling into our hotel room.

The wedding venue. Rustic chic.

And here's the bride and groom! Isn't she gorgeous?

So lemme tell you about this special wedding.

Dori (the bride) is my late brother-in-law's widow.

Did that make sense?

The wife of my husband's brother who passed away a few years ago.

Dori and Zack (my husband's brother) were married about four years when Zach tragically passed away from cancer. Before he met Dori, Zach beat cancer and then his life was improved a million times over when he met and married this Albanian beauty. Unfortunate Zach's cancer came back with a vengeance and Dori cared for him with undying love and patience until he passed away.

 I've never seen loyalty shine so brightly  - I get choked up every time I think about it.

Dori's immediate family all live in Albania so Zach's parent became much like her adoptive mother and father which makes her still very much a part of our family.

Dori and Rob (the new husband) started dating last year (?) and tied the knot this weekend.

I don't know Rob but he seems like a really nice, super laid back, groovy kind of fellow. He's going to fit in well.

Wedding bathroom selfie.

My family.

After the bride and groom had their first dance, the bride pulled out a white handkerchief and twirled it about and her mom put a white fez on the groom. They joined hands, got in a circle and danced a traditional Albanian celebratory dance to some sweet Albanian pop music. I wanted to join so badly but I had to hang on to a super grumpy toddler.

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The wedding favors were chocolates made by a family friend.

That night after I struggled to get the kids to go to sleep (it was awful -THEY were AWFUL) I rewarded myself with a giant burger from the cafe downstairs and local coffee milk ale. 

Quiet time in a hotel room with a burger was tremendously blissful.

The next morning. 

 

 Yeah, Cedar got one nasty boo boo at the wedding. After family portraits she took off running and hit the pavement face first. 

We all went to the Memphis Pyramid which is now a ridiculously huge Bass Pro Shop.

I don't give a crap about Bass Pro Shops but that place was pretty sweet.

There were live animals, restaurants, aquatic displays and even a bowling ally. 

This giant elevator takes you to the top of the pyramid and also to a bar.  

We had to cut our stay short because I was losing my patience with my baby girl.

Cedar squirmed and cried and threw fits the entire trip and I was reaching the end of my rope. 

She was teething, going through a growth spurt, in unfamiliar surroundings -  all with a fresh wicked face injury.

She. Was. Not. Happy.

So we left and headed back to good ol' Tejas.

BONUS PICS:

River turned three on the 20th!

I let him have a go at a lolly pop. And then I tossed it. I'm just not a fan of candy but hey, it was his birthday.

We took him out to eat at a little restaurant with an indoor playground and took him over to a pet supply store to see the animals.

Look at this champ! Someone suggested we tell people she got into a fight with another baby. I'm going to run with that because that's hilarious.