My Faire Lady, Version 5.1

Alrighty, here are a buttload more photos from the faire!

Enjoy!

And I'm SO proud to announce that we had our first MALE dancer this year and several gypsy men!!! YAY!! 

The mermaids came back again!

Not even trying to be funny. I think this is my natural eating face.

Pro Pics by Scott Johnson Photography:

The lady to my left is a 60 year old grandmother. She's a fabulous belly dancer in the Gems of Cairo belly dance troupe in the Shreveport, LA.
HOT! Now I know what I wanna be when I grow up! A sexy belly dancing granny!

THE END!!

My Faire Lady, Version 5.0

Soooooo.... yeah!

Here I am as  Daniella Noir the Gypsy Queen at the 5th Annual Texarkana Renaissance Faire this weekend.

You remember that faire I used to own, yeah that one. Hee hee.

Now that I'm just assistant director I was free to do pretty much whatever I wanted.

I didn't have to walk miles and miles back and forth to collect money from the ticket booth.

I didn't have to answer a single phone call from confused merchant about where their booth is supposed to be set up.

I didn't have to calm angry patrons.

I didn't have to pay entertainment fees and utility bills.

I got to do what I've always wanted to do:

PERFORM AT A RENAISSANCE FAIRE!

Last year I tried to dance a little bit but I was so out of shape, I could barely make it through a whole song. On top of that I was already having to run back and forth to do important "owner things" so I was pretty darn worn down.

I started working on getting into better shape and building my dance endurance several months ago and it paid off big time. It was hot as Hades (in the mid-90s) and a few of my gypsies had to leave early from heat exhaustion (and other cast members as well) but I made it!

I danced in the heat with ease but the face sweating made me pretty miserable. Under my fuchsia headscarf is a bandanna that's been folded several times to catch sweat but that did nothing for my temples, nose and upper lip though. I was dripping sweat all dang day. I kept having to reapply my eyebrows and I had an allergic reaction to all my jewelry.

But I still had fun!

I wasn't really able to do any fancy Russian style skirt dancing like I practiced because of the over-skirt and belt pouches so I belly danced and threw in a few Romani dance moves I've picked up form the internet. 

And here are my babies! Finally old enough to join mommy in the gypsy camp. YAY!

Well anywho, I am burnt out and exhausted. I've been on the computer editing and uploaded faire photos to Facebook aaaaaaaall day long and I need to go start dinner. And by start dinner I mean microwave something, sit on the couch and watch Netflix until my husband gets home. I'll share more faire pics and stop by your bloggies in a couple days.

LATERZ. Here's a four second video of me dancing I found.

my lips are on fire

Here's me modeling some freebie pants from Soul Flower. In case you've been living under a rock or just don't pay attention to me, I write an article for them every other month. They give me organic hippie swag and I give them my magic words. This month I had to recycle another post form Quirky Bohemian Mama because I was just so strapped for time. I revamped my "30 Ways to Make Your Life Less Boring" post and it should be up over at Soul Flower after Labor Day.

Heck, it might be up now. I haven't checked yet.

FYI: I'm entering my third month of the whole diet and exercise thing and I've only lost 13 out 100 lbs but hey, it's better than gaining 13 lbs right? I'm not freaking out trying to look like Beyonce or anything like that. I'm mostly just after smaller boobs and no diabetes. 

I'd really like some chili-cheese fries right now.

Aw, man I look cool, don't I?

I don't STOP for anyone.

I YIELD, baby. I yield.

▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲

Yesterday I hosted Cedar's first birthday party. She'll be 2 on the 6th but she did't get a party last year so yeah, her first birthday party... for her 2nd birthday. Here are a few photos and you can get more details about it over at my other blawg. 

See you all laterz!

On Femininity.. last one {The Ballad of Mr. Snot Rocket}

2006?

If you're just tuning in, I've been whining about how I was dressed like a boy growing up and how it affected my life.

You can get caught up here: Part One, Part Two.

So I after two years of unsuccessful adulthood, terrible depression and a nervous breakdown, I moved back in with my mom. It was at that time I met the friend of a friend at a concert who was looking for a bassist for his band. The band consisted of 5 young hip white guys and very quickly I fit in and mushed into the group as just "one of the guys" again. I didn't really care since I wasn't attracted to any of them so it was no big deal to be seen this way.

2007?

BUT ONE DAY...

One of my band-mates blew a SNOT ROCKET in front of me. Do you know what that is?

That's where you hold down one nostril and blow snot from the other... not into a hanky or anything like that. But just right on the ground. It's something you just generally don't do in front of other people 

ESPECIALLY A LADY. 

I was absolutely mortified that a man would do that in front of me and I was certain that he would never ever do that in front of any other girl. But alas, I wasn't just any girl.

That's when I began to notice the girls in the other bands...

When we played shows I saw the other girls in little skirts, scarves, hip vintage cowboy boots, lacy things and jewelry. They were thin and willowy, wore makeup and had long messy curls in effortlessly beautiful I-don't-care hairstyles. I saw the way my band-mates and other guys looked at them and talked to them and I was crushed because I was so far from that.

These were the kind of girls with boyfriends. These were the kind of girls that were never confused as lesbians. These were the kind of girls you don't fart in front of.

I loved the way they looked and I desired nothing more than to be seen and treated like one of  them. I wanted to be skinny and frail and pretty because no decent gentlemen would ever blow a snot rocket in front of a girl like that, right? 

I had finally had enough of being just one of the guys. I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and began working on becoming the woman that I wanted to be.

2008

I began to learn belly dance from several DVDs and danced 4 hours a day. I practically starved myself - sometimes eating nothing more than a cereal bar and flavored water. After 4 months I lost 40 pounds. I was incredibly confident and I felt beautiful.

Baby doll dresses, tights, purple eye shadow and cowboy boots became my daily uniform. I refused to wear jeans that weren't skinny and I felt so "in charge" of myself. 

I was finally getting noticed and respected.

Now mind you, I didn't change just so I could catch a man. I changed for ME and the guys came later. I even dun got meself a husband. A man that loves me no matter what I wear. A man I can drink beer with and be crude with but he'll never forget that I'm a lady.

Headless hipster baby doll dress me. 2008?

2009

So in a nutshell, one disgusting action motivated me to become the hip and elegant weirdo I've always desired to be. One snot-rocket later and I can't bring myself to wear jeans or a tee shirt in public. I don't want to see a man spit in front of me and I cringe when someone refers to me as dude or bro.

I'm not a dude and I'm definitely not your bro.

I'm a lady and I've worked too hard to be referred to as anything that suggests otherwise.

This is the story of Hollie.

{Thank you Mr. Snot Rocket.}

2010,  Me and my former band-mates at my wedding reception.