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Monday, September 3, 2012

FAQs about my pregnancy

When you're pregnant, everyone loves you and cares about you and wants to coo and coodle over you... well... I'm not a coo and coodle kinda person. In fact I like to avoid human interaction as much as possible when I'm in public- but when that bump is thrown out there- :sigh: ya just can't escape it.

So here's a list of questions that I must answer from darn near everyone I come across. If anything changes... I'll update the answers. Hee hee! Maybe from now on when someone asks me a series of questions from my pregnancy I'll just say, "Read my blog. I'll send you the link"

Q: How are you feeling?
A: Fine.
This one is usually followed up by an awkward silence as if their saying, "Really? That's all?"
Then I'll find an excuse to walk away before they can ask more questions.

Q: Have you had any morning sickness?
A: (as I've told you a million times before) I didn't really get morning sickness...
To which they usually reply, "Boy, you're lucky! When I was pregnant I got sick blah, blah, blah number of times a day until blah, blah, blah..." 

Q: How far along are you?
A: X amount of weeks (or months if I know they're unfamiliar with the "weeks" system")
This question (the most common of all) will be asked at several more times by many more people before I get to stealthily sneak away.

Q: When are you due?
A: January 15th.
The most common responses to this are, "My birthday is in January", "My sister (friend, other family member) is due in January. My response is usually...

Q: Do you know what you're having yet?
A: No. (Unspoken sarcasm: A baby)
This is usually followed up with an awkward silence and then the story of why they did or did not find out the gender of their baby and when they did it. This conversation performed several times a day can get a bit tiresome.

Q: Are you going to find out?
A: I don't know yet. Probably not. But if we do we won't tell anyone. (Then immediately regret saying that for that answer opens up a possibility for a very much unwanted extended conversation)
Q: Is it because you want to be surprised?
A: Well, no...  I, I...:stutter, stammer: (Here, I'm trying to find a lie to avoid telling them that I'm not going to reveal the gender of my baby so that my house doesn't get flooded with a bunch of crap that I don't want or need before we register for items)
The person questioning me usually feels that they must comfort me and tell me it's ok to not know they gender of the baby- just buy everything in green and yellow... 

Q: Have you thought of any names yet?
A: Not really.
This is the best one. No one usually has anything to say to this. They just smile and walk away and I feel like the champion of vague answers. But every now and then someone won't accept this answer and they'll linger- waiting for me to explain my horrific actions. 
Q: Are you going to keep it a secret when you decide?
A: Mmm... I don't know...
The truth, I don't want to tell anyone ever again the names that I have thought about. Why? Because every woman knows what she wants to name her child from the time she was a little girl. I've been stuck on the same names for years. When I told people what I liked the I got:
"Why would you name your child that?" 
"You're kid is going to get made fun of."
"Mm... well how about this name? I like that name."

1 comment:

  1. Those were pretty cute reactions, Jet. :P I had fun too, especially on the second to last picture who looks just like my friend here who's currently sitting on the sofa as I write. Haha! :P Look! I have one too:

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes. Getting pregnant.
    At least for the time being. Allow your body to fully recover. The miracle of birth, though wonderful, is quite an extreme physical and emotional experience.


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