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Monday, December 10, 2012

feeling a little sorry for myself

So, I'm 35 weeks today I'm really starting to feel pregnant. Not that I haven't been feeling pregnant before, it's just that now- I'm really starting to feel it.

Sleep has been pretty terrible for me lately but last night really sucked. I think my poor sleeping last night came from over-working myself to get the kitchen cleaned and organized. We still have packed boxes here and there from our move in June and I'm tried of looking at them.  I was in the mood to clean. My husband removed his camping gear from the hall closet and installed some shelving so we can have more storage space. After an hour of what one could easily call "light work" AND with plenty of help from my husband, my back and groin felt like I had just completed a fifty mile hike. The discomfort only got worse when I went to bed. As soon as I would find a fairly decent sleeping position, I would doze for maybe an hour then I'd have have to get up to pee. Getting out of bed is painful and getting settled back into bed is painful. Now I've decided to start getting painful gas during the night that just builds up and wont pass unless I get up! What a snappy vicious cycle!

I'm trying to be very careful with my words (having been taught all my life that it's possible to speak bad things into existence- I don't want to go into labor early) but I'm ready to have this baby. I'm ready to feel like myself again. I like to clean and move fast and stay busy but being pregnant has slowed me down sooooo much. Now I just spend all of my time sitting on the couch surfing the internet.

I see photos of other pregnant bloggers, all cute and glowing in their cute little outfits, going shopping and cooking healthy little dinners and it just makes me wanna vomit. I thought that would be me and I'm super jealous. When I see another pregnant woman in the grocery store, hustling and bustling here and there, I see red. Here I am, dragging my feet, unattractively bowed backwards from the weight of my belly, shuffling slowly through the store like a freight train as Super Preggo breezes past me. It's very discouraging.

Jabba the Hut understands me.
People used to admire my speed and efficiency and I took pride in how fast I could move and how much endurance I had... now I feel fat, gross and useless. I used to be strong and flexible- now I can't even put on my underwear without needing some kind of assistance.

Honestly, I'm starting to feel a little hopeless and I'm afraid that after I have the baby, my recovery time is going to take too long and my house is going fall apart and I'm going to get super obese and that I'll never be my high-energy take-on-the-world self again.

Surely I'm not the only woman here that feels this way? What was your experience during and after pregnancy?


  1. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are really pregnant. If i were you i'd probably be in the bed laying down all day.

    Im only 22 weeks and i can't walk long distances..i'm like an old lady sometimes lol it's normal & youll be back to your old self.

    1. I'm so ready. Bay the way: Congrats on your little one on the way!

  2. I feel like standing up and cheering after reading this post. But standing up hurts (so does sitting...and lying down...) so I'm just going to cheer.

    You're doing a natural childbirth, so your recovery time is going to be short and you will be yourself again so soon (this is my own pep talk I give myself, so I'm just sharing it unsolicited).

    Have you watched "What to Expect When You're Expecting"? I made my husband watch it with me last night and it made me feel so much better about my pregnancy- waddle and all. :)

    Bless you for your honesty! :)

    1. I'm glad you appreciated my post! I was a little hesitant to blog about this, no one likes a whiner, but sometimes you just gotta get it out!

  3. I totally last few weeks of pregnancy felt the same way. No sleep, no energy, no drive to get up and get things done...yet there seemed like there was so much to do!

    Just be patient with yourself, don't try to get every single little thing done and know that you are actually doing SO much just by carrying your baby!

    And trust me, once the baby comes, a little mess here or there won't bother you at all as you focus on the little one!!! Nonetheless, I hope these last few weeks fly by for you!!!

    1. Ah! Thank you! Just five more weeks to go. Gotta stay positive!


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