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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

pregnant AND uncool?

Last night I started a Facebook event page for a Doomsday/Caleb's birthday/Christmas party that we will be hosting at our home this Friday.
I always do an event page so I can keep up with who's coming- it's so handy.
Together we invited many, many friends to the party.
Today only 2 people have responded that they are coming: A guy I was in a play with and Caleb's sister who lives just mere yards away.

I sent out a mass message to our invitees reminding them to respond to their invitation...
On Facebook, the mass message is very much like a chat room- everyone can see all replies to the message.
Facebook also lets you know when someone has removed themselves from getting further notifications when someone replies to the message. It's called leaving the "conversation". SEVERAL of our friends left and didn't respond to their invitation at all- not a text, phone call, email, nothing.

Once upon a time, no one would decline an invite to one of our parties. Our parties were frequent, spontaneous and dang good fun. We had a list of at least six good friends who were always first to respond with an enthusiastic YES. I did a play with a community theater a few months back and made several new friends. Hooray for more friends!

We last attempted to throw a party at Halloween this year and that's when I noticed the strange lack of response from our friends. About six people showed up and only one of them could be considered a "close friend". I was pretty upset about the turnout- I worked my butt off decorating and making food but I let it slide thinking maybe it was bad timing on my end- maybe my party clashed with other parties that were going on that night.

I haven't told my husband how I feel about this (mostly because I feel silly thinking this way), but I honestly think we're losing a lot of our friends because we're going to have baby.
I'm not just saying this because no one wants to come to our parties anymore-
We don't get invited out to do anything anymore.
No one calls us up to just "hang out" anymore.
No one seems to want to be around us period... and it all started when I got pregnant.

We're still the same old Hollie and Caleb, so what's the deal?

I hope I'm wrong about all this- but I just can't help but feel that I'm right when I say: our friends think we're uncool now.


  1. What a honest and poignant post.
    I think some people are awkward around pregnant women, maybe mistakenly assuming that they'll be too tired/busy/preoccupied to join in with anything.
    When you invite friends to your parties do you do it face-to-face or just via Facebook? It's easy to be lazy and hit "decline" on Facebook and a lot harder to turn down a phone call or a visit.
    Hope you feel more confident & happier soon and do share your feelings with your boyfriend, it will stop you feeling so overwhelmed, I'm sure. xxx

    1. Vix, I think you're right. I think I am being a little impersonal with my invitations by announcing parties solely through Facebook. I need to get back to doing it the "old fashioned" way.

  2. I agree with Vix. I think people just assume you're tired or not going to be around people doing ___.
    Having a baby is a good way to sort out the friends who are down for you no matter what from the ones that aren't.


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